09222018Headline:

Trump to Limit All Intelligence Briefings to 140-Characters

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TRUMP TOWER – Soon after securing the Republican presidential nomination, business mogul/reality TV star Donald J. Trump swore off any and all assistance from the U.S. intelligence community, stating he did not trust the briefings he was set to receive as the nominee. “I won’t use them because they’ve made such bad decisions,” he said at the time.

The Washington Post recently reported that a team of intelligence analysts “has been prepared to deliver daily briefings on global developments and security threats to Trump in the two weeks since he won,” but he’s passed on all but two meetings. Offered daily access to sensitive and classified information from around the globe, the U.S.’s incoming leader — who has no governmental or military experience — simply declined, declaring he’d rather receive his daily briefings over his favorite social media platform, Twitter.

“I like Twitter because it trims off all the fat,” Trump told Fox News, “if you can’t get your point across in 140-characters or less, then it can’t be that important anyways.”

Trump’s team says the president-elect has been focused on the transition and selecting the members of his administration’s Cabinet and say he still has plenty of time to get up to speed on international affairs and security threats before he takes office.

The chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Republican Rep. Devin Nunes, who is also a senior member of Trump’s transition team, told the Post that he is not concerned about Trump’s Twitter preference.

“National security is Donald Trump’s No. 1 priority and he’s taking it very seriously,” Nunes said. “Look how many leaders he’s met with, how many phone calls he’s taken, positions he’s filled. So what if he uses Twitter…he’s getting the job done.”

Mr. Trump has tweeted almost two dozen times in the last two days, including a barrage of multi-tweet criticisms of the press, a violent tweetstorm about the popular vote and possible fraud, and his latest proposal; to jail or revoke citizenship of people who burn the American flag.

 

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12 Responses to "Trump to Limit All Intelligence Briefings to 140-Characters"

  1. FuckingClueless says:

    He can call these numbers to get voice quips as well. Toll free.

    1-800-SUX2BU
    1-800-B4LLNW4LLS
    1-800-P00SYGR4BB3R

    • FuckingClueless says:

      How long did it take you to recognize this? You want a candy?

    • Billy Bob Stankins says:

      There’s a “Disclaimer” button up in the menu above. If you click it, it tells you the following:

      National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional. National Report is not intended for children under the age of 18.

      It says it right there. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional. You should contact Sherlock Holmes to help you with your investigation. He can help you blow this whole case wide open!

  2. wootrump says:

    WOO TRUMP I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE CAN KILL THEM LIBERALS! AND STOP THAT GLOBALISM! STOP THE TRACKING! HA WE WON! HA!

  3. wootrump says:

    WOOI CANT WAIT UNTIL WE CAN KILL THEM LIBERALS! AND STOP THAT GLOBALISM! STOP THE TRACKING! HA WE WON! HA!

  4. HECKYEAH says:

    GO NP EXPOSE THOSE LIBERALS AND THEIR FEMA DEATH CAMPS!

  5. stopfema20 says:

    Obamas fema death camps r real! Cant wait for trump to take office and use those camps correctly!
    😉

  6. Jeff says:

    It’s been over two weeks since the National Report published a piece of quality journalism. What’s the holdup?

    • Jeff,
      ~
      We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you sir. We understand the need for quality journalism in everyone’s life and recognize our responsibility to our millions of readers and subscribers to deliver honest, fact-based news pieces. We hope to resume with business as usual shortly.
      ~
      Thank you,
      ~
      Nigel

  7. BlackMuthaFuka says:

    Its ya boy DiLoro in West Seneca New York. This is a bunch of bull shit

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