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Vladimir Tops the List of Most Popular Baby Names in US

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WASHINGTON, DC — Vladimir now heads the list of the most popular baby names for American boys, bumping Jackson, Aiden, Lucas, and Liam from the top spots.

The Russian moniker began trending last year, reflecting the increasing number of Republican voters who view Putin favorably.

Despite Arizona Sen. John McCain‘s charge that Russian interference with the presidential election was an act of war, a growing number of red state voters continue to view Putin favorably.

Trump called for closer relations with Russia, and on Dec. 30 tweeted his support of Putin’s recent response to Barack Obama’s imposition of harsh sanctions. Obama called for the expulsion of 35 Russian diplomats, and the closure of several US Russian compounds in response to hacking allegations.

“The era of babies with names like Rick and Steve is over,” said statistician Althea Thoone. “There will be lots of Vlads and Lyudmilas marching around our school yards in the coming years. I wouldn’t be surprised if high schools get rid of Spanish and make Russian a required course.”

Baby names generally mirror popular trends, and President-elect Trump’s embrace of the Soviet leader has inspired many new parents.

“Vladimir is a very strong name,” said cafeteria worker Mary Mallon, expecting her first child —a boy— in March. “When I had the ultrasound, the nurse asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. Deep down I wanted a girl, but as it turns out, I’m going to have a boy. When I saw his tiny, little hands, it made me so happy.”

“With the way the world is going these days, it’s important to surround our youth with strong influences from the very start. I like what Vladimir Putin is doing, and if President Trump puts his faith in a leader like that, then I will too. Who knows, maybe my little Vladimir Donald Mallon will become president someday!”

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2 Responses to "Vladimir Tops the List of Most Popular Baby Names in US"

  1. Doc Memory says:

    I’d name him Marshall, Marsh for short.

  2. V.D. says:

    Boy, this did not age well.

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