Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign
<Washington, DC>The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter” (“Frijoles Negros Importan”) campaign in support of a Goya Foods whose top executive was criticized last week for supporting President [...]
Jared Kushner’s Dick Sued by Pencil Company Over Brand Confusion
WASHINGTON, DC— Jared C. Kushner, husband of first daughter and East Asian entrepreneuse Ivanka Trump, was named as Defendant in a lawsuit brought by Gotwood Pencil Company, alleging brand confusion between Defendant’s dick and Plaintiff’s [...]
Alex Jones Suggests Flying False Flag at Half-Staff for Shooting Victims
<Austin, TX>Renowned radio show host and fake news creator Alex Jones has reportedly asked his audience to fly the false flag at half-staff in honor of today’s shooting victims. While details of the shooter have not been released, [...]
35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home
Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings. After spending his entire life dwelling in the basement [...]
Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’ Before Photobomb
Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon.
The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was [...]
Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar’ Before Blowing Up Friend’s Inbox
De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurred at approximately 4:45 pm leaving the victim, Anthony Stewart, 41, physically fine but emotionally drained. [...]
