07262017Headline:

Sarah Palin Wants Arabic Numerals Banned From America’s Schools

WASILLA, Alaska — Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who recently curbed her demanding speaking schedule in order to care for her injured husband Todd, found time to support Ted Cruz’s call for stricter monitoring of Muslim neighborhoods [...]

Trojan Name New Ultra-Thin Skin Condom after Donald Trump

Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Sarah Palin Diagnosed With STFU

WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been diagnosed with STFU, according to multiple media outlets. The diagnosis became public shortly after Palin blamed both President Barack Obama and the condition known as Post Traumatic [...]

Sarah Palin Bans Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin

  Wasilla, AK – Conservative superstar Sarah Palin says she supports Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s call for a ban on admitting Muslims into the United States, stating she once put a similar ban in place while she [...]

Trump Heads to Border to Insult Mexicans in Person

LAREDO, TX – Weeks after calling Mexicans “rapists” and criminals in his speech announcing his run for president, Donald Trump made a visit to the U.S. – Mexico border Thursday. “I think it’s important to see these low-life [...]