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Texas Testicle Festival Chance to Have a Ball with Jesus

ttf(National Report) – One more thing to love about the big state of Texas besides the W Library, low worker safety and funny tasting water – A TESTICLE FESTIVAL! YEE HAW!

Who doesn’t like eating testicles, besides blacks, feminists women and Democrats? This is the original Teabagger barn burning fun fest for the whole family. There’s roping contests, a beauty pageant, gospel music, a ball eating contest and lots of good hearted fun.

ballsSponsored by a whole bunch of churches and stuff, second amendment rights will not be denied. So many people have posted testi-moanials about the festival that we can only print a few here.

“Lawz, mercy that was fun.” – Gladys Goosewine

“I ate so many testicles, pretty girls in cowboy boots had to rub my belly!” – Brandon Hicks

“I saw Jesus come out of a porta pottie.” – Samuel Pecker

For anyone that wants to “Have a Ball with Jesus” you need to hitch ’em up and drive to Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch. All proceeds benefit the Junior Livestock Show.

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5 Responses to "Texas Testicle Festival Chance to Have a Ball with Jesus"

  1. Chase Logan says:

    Having a ball with Jesus may be just what the doctor ordered for me. Mr. Montgomery has agreed to send me to cover the event. For those of you who want to join in on the fun it takes place the second Sunday of March (every year) at 10:30am. #TesticleTexas #ILoveTestis

  2. Nigel Covington says:

    Enjoy yourself Chase, we just BBQed 2 sets of bull testicals today. There nothing like being outdoors and grilling up some balls. The way the sauce and juices mix together to slowly drop down over the balls. When the sauce drips off and it sizzles on the hot coals below. There’s nothing like the smell… reminds me of going home.

  3. Barbara Bagwell says:

    Fumes from a testicle smoker will make a person pregnant, if they are a lady person that can get pregnant because obviously men couldn’t.

  4. Manfred Perigrine's life partner says:

    Barbara Bagwell

    wow, you are really retarded. if I shot a load over your fat fucking face, would that mean you could become pregnant ?

    testicle festival. lol……….. fucking gay get together

  5. Bilbo Flagons says:


    If Barbi was in the proper menstrual ‘cycle’, virile load juice could actually enter the tear duct. It could then mix with the lymphatic system, which we all know runs throughout the human body. If the timing was close, it could possibly migrate from a nearby lymph gland and enter the Fallopian tube where conception actually happens.

    ~ While this has only been documented a dozen times, or so, by the AAPG (American Association of Pregnancy Getting), it is entirely possible. Not probable, but possible.

    ~ As to your “Gay” comment… you can’t say ALL the women at the festival were muff divers, since some just like balls and the smell of caramelized semen. And pud-puffing men wouldn’t go since they value their junk for fudge packin’ fun! Chocolate cone anyone?

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