(AP Photo/Toby Talbot)
<National Report>This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic consequences far worse than global warming.
Scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology, a privately-owned think tank located in Cheyenne, Wyoming, discovered that energy radiated from the sun isn’t merely captured in solar panels, but that energy is directly physically drawn from the sun by those panels, in a process they refer to as “forced photovoltaic drainage.”
“Put into laymen’s terms, the solar panels capture the sun’s energy, but pull on the sun over time, forcing more energy to be released than the sun is actually producing,” WIT claims in a scientific white paper published on Wednesday. “Imagine a waterfall, dumping water. But you aren’t catching the water in buckets, but rather sucking it in with a vacuum cleaner. Eventually, you’re going to suck in so much water that you drain the river above that waterfall completely.”
WIT is adamant that there’s no immediate danger, however. “Currently, solar panels are an energy niche, and do not pose a serious risk to the sun. But if we converted our grids to solar energy in a big way, with panels on domestic homes and commercial businesses, and paving our parking lots with panels, we’d start seeing very serious problems over time. If every home in the world had solar panels on their roofs, global temperatures would drop by as much as thirty degrees over twenty years, and the sun could die out within three hundred to four hundred years.”
The study was commissioned in August 2011 by the Halliburton corporation, who wanted to learn if the energy giant should start manufacturing and selling solar panels domestically and internationally. Halliburton’s executives wanted to know more about the sustainability of solar energy and how photovoltaic technology might evolve over the next ten years. But based on the findings of WIT’s research in the field, Halliburton revealed on Friday that they will not be entering the solar energy market.
“Solar panels destroying the sun could potentially be the worst man-made climate disaster in the history of the world, and Halliburton will not be taking part in that,” the company stated in a press release issued Friday morning. “It’s obvious, based on the findings of this neutral scientific research group, that humans needs to become more dependent on fossil fuels like oil and coal, not less. Because these so-called `green technologies’ are far more dangerous to the Earth than any hydrofracking operation or deep-water drilling station. What good is clean air when our very sun is no longer functional?”
How does baloney like this exist. This is worse than the kidnappings in nigeria. This level of ignorance calls for drastic measures. I wish we could suck these morons into a vacuum, but that would be redundant.
This story must be made up. If any sane person believes this, I’m truly sorry for you and please strongly consider not bearing children.
I can’t find a link anywhere regarding this supposed Halliburton press release, though I can find a story talking about Halliburton using solar at fracking sites, so that makes this story seem even more dubious.
Well it is a necessary evil…but yes valid science. Look to the moon. How Is It You that can see the moon? Only a child would think it was illuminated by its own power source. For in fact it is illuminated by scavenged sunlight! Solar cells have accelerated the stealing of the sun’s energy. You can not make something from nothing. Science is true whether you believe it or not. Thank you for reading my comment.
Hahahaha!!!
Thanks for being another uneducated dumbass.
P.S. : In case you claim you were educated, sitting in a class like a dumbass and doing nothing does not count as education. So, go and get some education first.
– Al Einstein
Valid Science? Pardon me sir, but perhaps you misread. The National Report website is similar in many ways to another popular news venue you may be more familiar with… Have you heard of The Onion? There we go, I see the recognition in your eyes all the way over here.
This website, this article, the “Valid Science” behind it, are all fake. This is a SATIRICAL website. That is to say there is no fact base behind any of it. It’s all made up on the spot to be amusing. Please please please please do not take these articles seriously.
The energy the moon receives from the sun as well as the energy beamed down on earth is already there, adding solar panels simply takes advantage of what is an infinite (well, in human terms practically infinite) supply. Putting a panel there to harness this energy is not going to magically suck photons out of the sun at a faster rate.
Your saying the moon “scavenged” sunlight? That would mean the moon is holding onto it’s own sunlight and keep building up. The moon would be bright all the time. Bright to the point it would be a distraction considering how long the moon has been around for.
What a big load of BS this article is! The sun produces far more energy than we on earth could ever use in our little pittance of existance on this world. This is just pseudo-science with no facts to back it up. This article should be deleted as it is an insult to the human race.
Really you guys? REALLY? Yeah, it’s draining the Sun’s energy, in that energy leaves the sun, then enters the panels. The same way that plants drain the sun’s energy. The same way that our eyes drain lightbulbs’ light. How the hell can you sleep at night, publishing this ridiculous horse shit and calling it news. What is the reasoning here? Is this site bank rolled by an oil company desperate to make people afraid of using solar energy? Is there really someone out there, so immoral, so snail-slime low, that they would try to sabotage something that is a UNIVERSAL GOOD, that will help everyone, themselves included, because they can make money off of the alternative, which is universally harmful to everyone, themselves included? Really you guys? REALLY?!
REEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLY?!?!
whoever actually believes this crap is an idiot. solar panels do not drain the sun’s energy. not only that, but the notion that relyin’ on fracking is safer than usin’ solar energy is complete garbage. fracking puts toxic chemicals into the ground & it seeps into the water supply. once we use up the fossil fuels, there won’t be any left. that’s why they’re called NON-renewable resources. the oil industry has caused billions of dollars worth of damage to our environment due to oil spills, fracking, etc.
This is satire, right? No respectable scientist would make the statement that given the volume of space that the light of the sun occupies, solar cells 93 million miles away, on the third planet out, would have the ability to affect any change whatsoever. I mean, it could be said, but has it been peer reviewed? Have others looked at their data and checked the math?
Just because you say a certain thing, doesn’t make it so.
ah ha hahahahahahahahahhahahaha ha hahaha ha hee hee heee heee heeee hoo hooo hoo! ho ah ha hahahahahahahahahha!! stop, you’re killing me! ah ha hahahahahahahahahha!!! oh, wait. some people will actually believe this. … hmmm.
You need look no further than the pictures at the top of this this site to know that it’s pure BS. I have yet to hear anything logical let alone scientific come from the mouths of Ted Cruz or Sarah Palin.
I was certain that this was from Onion News but no it’s just pure bullshit which, btw, causes plenty of methane to replace the energy drained from the sun and can be saved for when ol Ra goes super-nova.
It’s a sad day in the state of the media when I have to check to see if a site is satire. This sounded so ridiculous to me that it could’ve been true. :/
I agree that this is absurd. First of all, if what is claimed here is true, then the more trees and plants that grow on earth would have the same effect, considering photosynthesis also captures the sun’s energy. And second of all we absolutely can’t forget the ultimate law of energy conservation. Energy CANNOT be created or destroyed. My two cents anyway.
In fact, you CAN create energy by converting matter into energy.
So to be really strict, energy is not always conserved.
You can say mass-energy is always conserved.
You sort of been skating around the edges of this creating thing. This is the way it went. Matter can not be created or destroyed, only changed.
Aww come on. The big thing you liberals came up with last year was that cows fart, and therefore we need to eliminate cows. What’s next?
I think using solar panels at night is a great idea to stop this devastating effect. But we also know that sunlight bends around planets, so I’m worried that the solar panels would suck up sunlight anyway (albeit at a slower rate). So to prevent the effect completely, we should put the solar panels in holes in the ground covered with material that light can’t penetrate. Or maybe we should put them in caves? It would be more expensive, I know, but then this is a serious problem that requires a serious solution.
Yeah but what about moonlight? We should just get moolar panels for moonlight instead, then problem solved. Wake up sheeple, it’s light, lighted means illuminated, Illuminati.
This “article” is an insult to the intelligence of anyone reading it. Haliburton funded and “neutral” are oxymorons and speaking of morons doesn’t Sarah Palin take credit for this website so … say no more… we know how credible she is.
Exactly what I was thinking! Haliburton commissioned a study to try to give some sort of credibility to their claim that solar power is bad, solely to retain business. The more solar energy is implemented, the less fossil fuels we need to burn, and that means less profit for them.
There’s probably more truth in comic books than there is in any studies that Haliburton commissions.
Oops. I meant HALLIBURTON. Can’t believe I misspelled it twice. 😛
Yes, while where at it we should uproot all plants that rob the sun by photosynthesizing.
Oh Please…. Look at who the sponsor for this study is… HALLIBURTON. What did you expect them to say??
OK, IF the entire surface of the earth facing the sun COULD be covered with solar panels, it would be one part in 543,157,200 of the sphere the sun radiates to, at the earths orbital distance.
Can anybody figure that as a percentage??? 😉 🙂 🙂
Is this parody?
Of course they drain the sun’s energy.
So does anything sunlight hits.
There is a sucker born every minute. I cannot believe how many people are commenting on this story as if it were real. It is a made up story intended to troll for gullible liberals. Hey, look, I think we have another one on the line…
One word…. Haliburton. ‘Nuff said!
Bahahahahahaha
This article is about as real and scientific as chem trails. What a crock of baloney both are.
Ahhhhhh SHOOT! That…gosh dangit, wait…that means…Ahhh, FRICK, man. CRAP. This means I should give back all the Vitamin D my body absorbed from sunlight. Frick, man. I’m such a thief. I feel so guilty right now. Hey ma, why dontcha just stick a knife in me? What can I ever do to give back this huge Vitamin D debt that I owe the sun? The almighty life-giving sun that gives conditionally, like banks that loan with interest. Like Big Energy that charges an arm and a leg for their energy. Ahhhh, shoot, man. CRUD. Thank you neutral article for providing me with the enlightenment that I am a worthless piece of CRAP thief who is killing the sun.
funny that this groundbreaking new discovery from a private think tank is the findings from a study paid for by Halliburton. really???
It’s refreshing to see so many bullshit proof people out there.
This has to be some kind of a joke.
Still I bet there are some people that would believe this spoof.
I have to admit the person that thought this one up is good at what he does. Hahaha.
This would explain global warming, its not cow farts, its all the solar panels…
People know that this is a satire… right?
The month is May.
You were supposed to print this April 1st.
You are fired.
Halliburton doesn’t want a giant manmade disaster?? Halliburton was considering getting into the solar market and flipping the bird to the family by providing any competition whatsoever to big oil?? Wow.. this IS big news!
That is the single most idiotic thing I have ever read! I am now actually less intelligent for reading it!
It’s nothing but the most senseless stupid theory I had ever come across, TOTAL INSANE
A study paid for by, I quote “American multinational corporation and currently one of the world’s largest[8] oil field services” (thanks wikipedia)
“It’s obvious, based on the findings of this neutral scientific research group, that humans needs to become more dependent on fossil fuels like oil and coal, not less”
Just read that above sentence again slowly…
Teeheehee. Awesome report. Next!
This would be hilarious if it were satire. But it isn’t, so it just makes me a bit sad
Hello people, This is a JOKE article. Can’t believe you’re responding as if it were serious!
This is the most retarded crap, i’ve ever read ….
clearly happily sponsored by your creatonist oil company…
The worst thing is there will be some unfortunate idiots out there who will actually believe this!
I’m one of the researchers who worked on this project, and let me tell you that the amount of non-science in these comments are beyond disconcerting! None of you appreciate or understand our photovoltaic research!
The sun produces its energy via hydrogen, which is converted into photons, right? Well, solar panels pull those photons in faster than the sun is able to produce them, forcing the sun to produce more hydrogen and expel more photons than it would normally. This energy is not “wasted,” as one poster put it, but recycled. The sun blasts these photons into the solar system, where they whirl back around and are later absorbed by the gravity of the sun itself, thus helping feed the sun with fresh hydrogen.
This solar ecology pattern is disrupted by solar panels, which pull considerably more energy from the sun than your typical plant. So, if you increased the number of solar panels in use globally by 1389.267%, guess what? We’re suddenly using MORE energy than the sun is typically radiating the Earth with. That’s energy the sun cannot re-absorb, and the sun is forced to produce more energy than it does normally… thus exhausting the sun over the course of a few centuries.
You might want to push politically for big solar, but you’re harming the environment far more than you realize. A little natural gas, CLEAN coal, and petroleum never hurt anyone, ever. Meanwhile, how many people die each year due to solar panels? More than you’ll ever know, because the agenda driven big solar industry is covering up the truth!
Dear Dr. Franz,
It is always nice to hear a fellow scientist dispel all the un-scientific dismissers with pure, unadulturated facts. It is an honor to know you, dear Sir, and I wish you all the best in your scientific endeavors. May you stop Big Solar from their attempt at World Domination!
Albert Onestone, Phd
So much bulshit.
Your PHD clearly stands for Piled Higher and Deeper.
Photovoltaics generate an electric field by atomic release of free electrons WHEN struck by photons, ie: a conversion process
With no light, photovoltaics cannot CONVERT
To suggest they “suck” more photons would require the conversion process to exceed 100% efficiency, but even then, it’s just drivel.
Enjoy your 30 silver coins of Halliburton pay check.
Solar panels are not some kind of photon magnet, they don’t draw photons, but rather recieves photons that fall upon its surface. With your logic, the large plumes of smoke made by coal and petrol energy plants will do the same effect as they absorb the energy from photons causing the same effect, if not on a far greater scale (the atmosphere). Also photocells are about 24% effiecent, therefore plenty of photons bounce back. But rereading your comment I know you are just being satirical.
Dumbass to the MAX!!!!
You know your a idiot……….right ?
oh. and next you’re going to tell me that you are now doing a research project to find out if everyone took a straw to the ocean, whether we’d drink the earth’s water dry in a day. smh
First we have to drink Canada Dry.
Dr. Franz Guttenberg, PHD. You’re saying that the photons of light that hit solar panels would otherwise have been pulled back to the sun rather than, say, hit the ground that’s right below the panel? I think you should give your PHD back.
You are an idiot.
I’d like to see a source… Any source, on deaths by solar panels.
I don’t mean installation deaths by the way, those would be tallied into the general construction fatalities. I’m talking about deaths by the actual use of solar power. And not solar farm maintenance fatalities, those could just as easily happen at any other energy site. Just strictly normal operating condition deaths. Maybe the foreign power makes can openers come alive and kill? Or it turns kittens into man eaters?
Halliburton. ..no one trusts them. How can we believe anything they say. .? They are oil lovers!
Halliburton is good. Anyone that points rifles at bad guy Muslims is good. Remember that.
It is amazing that Haliburton buys this ilk. What will they buy next
Halliburton was only there for the Millions of Dollars they got from the Illegal no bid contract to supply our troops! NOT ONE OF THEM POINTED ANY RIFLES AT ANYBODY! Halliburton is also the company of your ex-Vice President Dickless Chaney who also made millions from the deal!
When has a board member of Halliburton ever pointed a gun at a Muslim? Collectively, however, the board of Halliburton has electrocuted American G.I.’s with their defective shower stalls!…
Electric powered kittens of course 😉
Thank you for clearing the air Dr. Guttenberg, I’m a huge fan of your work and have been following this project from the beginning. I’m happy we finally have some real, neutral reporting being done on this issue. Try and not be too distressed at the public’s initial reaction to your findings, as you know the layman is ignorant and takes some time for a new idea to lay root in their head. Most of them already believe the vacuum affect (upsetting tbh) and I’m sure once they are told that the Earth makes up enough of the universe’s ‘drain’ on energy by enough trustworthy-looking sources they’ll quickly turn over. Keep doing God’s work.
You ARE pathetic! That doesn’t ring true to me at all and it won’t take long for the rest of the science community to debunk you. PATHETIC!! How much is the oil industry paying you to betray your ethics??? UNBELIEVABLY PATHETIC!!!
oh dear.
“…they whirl back around and are later absorbed by the gravity of the sun itself …”
That was scientific
Any time a “privately owned think tank’ is involved it involves politics and big money.
Dr. Franz Guttenberg, PHD I truly hope that reincarnation is a reality because you will be reincarnated as a parasite in the intestine of a dying pig. This will be a step up in the evolutionary ladder for you.
Evolution my ass. YOU can claim you are a product of evolution dear James, and I’ll go on believing that I, not you, me, was created in God’s image.
“… All these doctorates were no doubt what the former defence minister was thinking about as he wrote, or rather assembled, his doctoral thesis, though it then became the stick to beat him with. Doctor Cut-and-paste, Doctor Googleberg, the papers called him.
Maybe Germany has too many doctors, though one less now with plain Baron zu Guttenberg, or more like Mr zu Guttenberg.” – BBC News on ‘Mr. Franz Guttenberg’
source:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/9410282.stm
“Well, solar panels pull those photons in faster than the sun is able to produce them”
How? Describe the mechanism.
“The sun blasts these photons into the solar system, where they whirl back around and are later absorbed by the gravity of the sun itself, thus helping feed the sun with fresh hydrogen.”
Then how can we see stars at night that are many light-years away? Don’t they pull their light back toward themselves due to gravity? I think you’re thinking of a black hole, whose gravity is so massive that light cannot escape; with suns the gravity is far less than what is needed to stop light from escaping. Light from suns/stars permeates the entire universe, which is how we’re able to see them. It doesn’t get “pulled” anywhere; that’s hogwash.
Also, photons aren’t hydrogen. The hydrogen is converted to helium, and the byproduct of the reaction is radiation. Photons shoot out from the surface of the Sun into the space surrounding it… at the speed of light. There are no atoms to be pulled back toward the Sun. Only black holes can restrict light by means of gravity.
“We’re suddenly using MORE energy than the sun is typically radiating the Earth with.”
If we cover the surface of the Earth with solar panels and we’re still using more electricity than we can possibly get from our solar-to-electric conversion, that would only mean that we’re energy-hungry pigs that need an additional supplemental source, say, from thorium or wind or hydro. The Sun, though, outputs the radiation that it outputs. Our failure to absorb it all of it does not mean that less is being put out. Likewise, our ability to capture it all will not produce or “pull” more. There is simply a limit to how much light we can efficiently turn into electrcity. If we’re not at that limit then the light will strike other surfaces, eventually being deflected back into space or absorbed by other materials on Earth, such as pavements, vegetation, water, etc. The radiation that is NOT converted to electricity and is NOT deflected back out is usually converted into heat, which gives us no usable energy. One way or the other, that light is going somewhere and most of it that hits earth gets turned into heat — unless, of course, we find a way to capture it and convert it to something useful BEFORE it is converted to heat. Which is what solar electric generation does.
So maybe you should find a new job, if you are involved. I hear McDonald’s is hiring.
No we wont hire these guys.
This is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read. Good job keeping a straight face, you guys.
Explain in any way how a solar panel could pull on a photon. What force is involved in that process?
When trying to pass yourself off as a credible scientist you might like to remember to use some actual science and that Ph.D is the conventional way of abbreviating your qualification, not PHD. But, I’m sure you knew that, Doctor.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……ah….ah….wait………wait……………..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
the only way a solar panel is going to kill somebody is by falling on them
Indeed!
Even if you wrap the sun around with solar panels the speed of light would not increase, meaning your vacuum bs theory applies only to matter not energy
I’m astonished at the massive display of arrogant ignorance shown on this page. I really want to believe this is a joke.
The amount of sunlight reaching our planet is a tiny fraction of the energy being propelled. While nuclear energy destroys large areas of once-habitable land, oil spills contaminate ecosystems in every region of the world, and fracking poisons water, you are claiming that we can “put our sun out” by utilizing a fragment of dispersed energy? These solar panels of ours must be something special to “vaccum” that much power… get real. 😛
You want money? Fine, be greedy… you assholes already live better than the majority – try making some money from energy sources that not only make sense, but will help future generations, including your own families, prosper. Solar energy with rechargeable technology is the answer, and eventually this type of BS will be in the same history book as “the earth is flat”.
I almost forgot.
“The sun blasts these photons into the solar system, where they whirl back around and are later absorbed by the gravity of the sun itself, thus helping feed the sun with fresh hydrogen.”
Photons are not hydrogen, they are the particle carriers of electromagnetic radiations. Even if your claim was true (which it isn’t, as evidenced by solar flares which the sun can’t recapture once they’ve extended out a few thousand miles), the photons would be absorbed by the plasma on the surface and then re-emitted as thermal radiation and another photon of a different frequency.
Another problem with this statement (another among dozens) is that nuclear fusion in the sun happens at the centre and even if these photons made it all the way to the center it would take them millions of years just as it takes millions of years to escape the center in the first place.
The panels passively receives energy from the sun, not acitively sucks energy. This is totally propaganda in order to keep using fossil fuel.
Yes.
You oh liberal one, keep believing that using fossil fuels is a bad thing. Meanwhile, while you tree and whale huggers keep setting the industrial might of the USA back into the dark ages, China and Russia will keep polluting while they build build build and sell, sell sell, and gaining on us if not already surpassing us.
I cannot believe the fucking stupidity of what I just read.
Do you have any idea how much energy the sun puts out PER SECOND?
There’s another 5 BILLION YEARS in reserve on what it’s pumping out.
You couldn’t build a panel big enough with all the material on earth.
Actually as it turns out this whole website is satirical…well thank god for that!
I’m astonished beyond comprehension, that this piece nonsense that some have the audacity to call journalism and even science, have received any kind of attention and even have been taken serious by some.
Reading the comments is terrifying to say the least. I honestly did not think it possible for any reasonably healthy human being, to be that stupid.
Well, I suppose that’s life, but in any case let me make it perfectly clear, though I shouldn’t need to as you’d already know if you’d paid any attention in school at all:
THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Best regards, remember to always look out for phony PHD’s and for crying out loud START THINKING! If you take this article serious, you are an embarrassment to the human race, nothing less.
Instinctively, this sounds like bollocks. Would be interested to see some of this research.
Hmm..not sure if you CAN be laughed OFF a planet?
You idiots realize this is a satire website, right?
Interesting Dr Guttenberg. Just two questions….
1. Do you exist? Because there is nothing to back this up.
2. Are Kelloggs giving away free PhDs now?
Where did you get your PHD, Dr Guttenberg? It’s pretty clear to me that you know basically NO physics. Franz, please read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Physics-For-Dummies-Steven-Holzner/dp/0470903244
Folks, Franz’s explanation makes no sense. It ignores the laws of thermodynamics, it ignores what we know about gravity, it ignores what we know about how the sun produces energy, it ignores what we know about photosynthesis.
Sooooo, since my body absorbs vitamin D from sunlight whenever I or anyone goes outside on a sunny day does this mean I/We are ROBBING the Sun of vital nutrients? Shame on us for a criminal act agains’t a power that is quadrillions more powerful than we are. Sorry but this article is total bull shit. M
I’m sorry but you don’t need to have a phd in science to realize that this is a load of bull crap.
The solar panels are about the size of a grain of sand, if not smaller, than the sun. The sun has been throwing out energy since it was born and will continue to throw out energy for another few billion years. We are NOT gonna drain the sun’s energy with solar panels. Is there even any physical evidence to back up this nonsense?
Fossil fuels and natural gas are a limited resource, they won’t last for ever. Energy from the sun is practically endless and also cheaper. The less natural gas and fossil fuels there is, the higher the prices will go. You oil giants have had your day, this is the future. Suck it up!