(AP Photo/Toby Talbot)
<National Report>This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic consequences far worse than global warming.
Scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology, a privately-owned think tank located in Cheyenne, Wyoming, discovered that energy radiated from the sun isn’t merely captured in solar panels, but that energy is directly physically drawn from the sun by those panels, in a process they refer to as “forced photovoltaic drainage.”
“Put into laymen’s terms, the solar panels capture the sun’s energy, but pull on the sun over time, forcing more energy to be released than the sun is actually producing,” WIT claims in a scientific white paper published on Wednesday. “Imagine a waterfall, dumping water. But you aren’t catching the water in buckets, but rather sucking it in with a vacuum cleaner. Eventually, you’re going to suck in so much water that you drain the river above that waterfall completely.”
WIT is adamant that there’s no immediate danger, however. “Currently, solar panels are an energy niche, and do not pose a serious risk to the sun. But if we converted our grids to solar energy in a big way, with panels on domestic homes and commercial businesses, and paving our parking lots with panels, we’d start seeing very serious problems over time. If every home in the world had solar panels on their roofs, global temperatures would drop by as much as thirty degrees over twenty years, and the sun could die out within three hundred to four hundred years.”
The study was commissioned in August 2011 by the Halliburton corporation, who wanted to learn if the energy giant should start manufacturing and selling solar panels domestically and internationally. Halliburton’s executives wanted to know more about the sustainability of solar energy and how photovoltaic technology might evolve over the next ten years. But based on the findings of WIT’s research in the field, Halliburton revealed on Friday that they will not be entering the solar energy market.
“Solar panels destroying the sun could potentially be the worst man-made climate disaster in the history of the world, and Halliburton will not be taking part in that,” the company stated in a press release issued Friday morning. “It’s obvious, based on the findings of this neutral scientific research group, that humans needs to become more dependent on fossil fuels like oil and coal, not less. Because these so-called `green technologies’ are far more dangerous to the Earth than any hydrofracking operation or deep-water drilling station. What good is clean air when our very sun is no longer functional?”
You know, you could write “THE ARTICLE YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS PURELY SATIRICAL AND IN NO WAY TRUE” in gigantic letters at the top of the page, and you would still get dumbass responses like the ones you see here. We need a designated dope-slapper. Allow me to offer my services.
hahahahahahahahahaha
Pure bullshit……Just the oil companies bullshit…. Don’t be the lamb, be the wolf…..
“Put into laymen’s terms, the solar panels capture the sun’s energy, but pull on the sun over time, forcing more energy to be released than the sun is actually producing.”
NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE >,<
This is as laughable as the idea that wind is a finite resource and that wind turbines slow it down. Seriously, who comes up with this nonsense?
Hey, Lefty people who are really mad about this article…..it’s a Satire site!
It’s just a joke article, use some common sense before getting all pissed off about something.
Geeze, no wonder you fall for anything and vote Democrat.
Are you fucking kidding me? This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Everyone who belives this bullshit needs to learn some basic physics. And to think critically. and for the record: SOLARPANELS DO NOT DRAIN THE SUN IN ANY WAY.
Don’t worry folks, when the sun begins to weaken, we can bolster it’s output by firing nuclear missiles into it. That’s physics working for ya. And we never did get to launch any of the ICBMs at them there commies, so why not put them god fearing, American nukes to work!
hehehehehehe hahahahahaha hehehehehe hehe……………………………………………………………oh the best laugh I have had all year
hehehehehehehehehehahahaha…….. still going
Very funny. Do some people actually believe this?
Are people actually buying this B/S???? Of coarse that is what the independent firm paid for by an oil conglomerate would say. 400 years max, are you kidding me?? It would take yes 1,287,000 earth sized bodies to equal the sun’s mass, that is about how many people live in San Diego. Now are you going to tell me that something that produces 400 trillion (400,000,000,000,000) Watts of energy every second will be drained. In one second the sun produces the equivalent energy used by our civilization for the next 500,000 years. If you don’t know how a star produces that light that powers those solar cells, here is a quick extremely simplified explanation. Gasses in the star are converted to other elements by fusing together under extreme gravity and heat which in turn causes a nuclear fusion reaction, kind of like an atomic bomb, and produces light, heat, etc. This reaction will happen until the sun uses all of its fuel in about 200,000,000 years with or without any type of outside interference. Really people, be educated on topics before you commit to them.
Straight from Fox News.
What I’m most amazed at is how many of you are clueless that this is satire…The website is a satirical one..but yes, many of you are that clueless.
Anyone who thinks this is fact needs to eat a 12g round… You are all f*cking retarded.
This is BS. These so-called experts are, well… morons. Or maybe the author of this article made it all up. One thing is for sure: It’s simply not how thermodynamics works.
The Sun is a furnace, turning hydrogen to helium and emitting radiation at a regular rate. This is based on the huge mass of the sun, which makes for huge gravity; so much gravity that atoms compress together and explode — a process of fusion that has been in effect since it formed. That energy then propagates throughout the universe in all directions. It travels through space until it hits something, gets deflected, warped, or absorbed.
The sun cares not what happens to its heat and light once released. There is no method of communication by which the sun knows how much energy is being absorbed. Or deflected. Or soaring on into infiniti so that it may be observed by far-away solar systems.
If the conclusions of this article are correct, that would mean that looking at stars at night causes them to output even more light… even though it may have taken that light millions or billions of years to reach us anyway and there is no back-channel to let them know they need to increase their output.
“Put into laymen’s terms, the solar panels capture the sun’s energy, but pull on the sun over time, forcing more energy to be released than the sun is actually producing,” WIT claims in a scientific white paper published on Wednesday. “Imagine a waterfall, dumping water. But you aren’t catching the water in buckets, but rather sucking it in with a vacuum cleaner. Eventually, you’re going to suck in so much water that you drain the river above that waterfall completely.”
That’s simply wrong. It’s more like catching the the water in buckets and that’s all. Keep in mind that in order to ‘suck’ water, an energy source is required. In solar energy technology there is no outside energy source which can ‘suck’ anything. The light itself is the energy, and the energy we capture is absorbed. In layman’s terms it’s like catching water in a bucket.
When you catch rain water in a bucket on the ground, does that then ‘pull’ more water from the air? This very notion is absurd. Whatever research was done here is clearly idiotic pseudo-science.
Want to see where solar power can take us? Check this out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlTA3rnpgzU
But, hey… you can claim solar is inefficient and expensive and only for tree huggers. Back in the day there were plenty of people who scoffed at computers: large, power-hungry, inefficient, impractical, only for nerds and engineers… Those people were short-sighted idiots too. You, too, can join their ranks.
Brilliant comment! And the part ‘If the conclusions of this article are correct, that would mean that looking at stars at night causes them to output even more light’ made me laugh so much! 🙂
How STUPID can you possibly get? The sun is always, and has always, been draining itself of energy. It is called sunlight, Cruz and Palin.
I’m not even gonna post a long argument because this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How the fuck is a tiny fucking pebble going to drain a fucking DENSE ball of plasma energy a billion times its size of all its energy.
Got your foil headgear out yet? Because yall are a bunch of fools. (notice how fool is one letter away from fool. Coincidence? I think not)
I mean *foil.
The sad thing: Fossil fuel companies are getting so desperate to kill renewable energy that they are resorting to some of the most obvious bullshit in propaganda history and thinking it’ll work.
The sadder thing: It actually does seem to be working on some people… I mean, dear god, this is obviously wrong from just the title alone.
If you thought this was true to any degree, then you are unintelligent. You are not smart. You may have some specific skills and I’m sure you’re a nice person with those you are familiar and comfortable with… But you are dumb. Please realize this, accept it and act accordingly for the rest of your life. IE. Don’t ever be in charge of anything inportant. Do not get involved in any policy decisions. Just enjoy your life as best you can and stay out of the smart people’s way. You’ll be amazed how much better the world will become for you.
As I was reading this I was laughing and thinking this was a great Onion story.
Then it got scary when I realized it was real and that people actually believe this crap.
For all of the those that do not believe in the value of science and the scientific method, I say this; Next time you or a loved one is gravely ill, has cancer, needs an MRI, or antibiotic, stay home and pray and lets see how that works out for you. If you go to a doctor and hospital you are submitting that the scientific method is more valuable than whatever Santa Claus you believe exists.
And for those that want to use their smart phone, tablet, or computer to respond, turn those devices off. For they are the evil product born of science and engineering, and governed by the theories that were established by the scientific method.
When I first read this article, I did all that I could to put aside any disbelief i might have for the sake of science. As I read through the article, several things didn’t seem right to me, but I am no expert so I went with the assumption that I was not informed enough to understand fully. So I finished the article, and was concerned that if, key word if, this information was accurate then this could potentially be a serious problem for things such as solar roads. So I did further research to see if any other institution has been able to duplicate the results found in this study or any others debunking it. What I found was that everyone realized how fucking stupid this study was that they didn’t give it the pleasure of needing to be fact checked
Idiots …. Nothing we do on this earth will ever have any impact at all on the sun. The thought or possibility of a few pains of glass depleting i giant ball of gas 100’s of thousands of miles away is crazy. This is clearly a smear campaign against green energy. These scientist should be put to death for trying to step science backwards.
Yes, even with the miniscule number of solar panels here on this little planet, I’ve noticed a cooling trend that was more pronounced this past winter. Also, it could be my eyes, but I think the sun is getting noticeable dimmer.Not quite as dim as the minds at WIT, but definitely dimmer.
The Sun: Suck It Dry!
You are retarded. Actually just retarded. Trees are good for the environment, right? Do you realise that all greenery on the whole planet are biological solar panels? If this was actually true, the sun would have been gone long ago. You idiots need to stop just reading crap like this on the internet, and actually do some RESEARCH. Or have a very basic understanding of the science around the sun, physics, chemistry, biology, and energy.
Are you for real….?
But aren’t they changing their name to Wyoming Technology Facility, or WTF? for short? 🙂
Seriously. Photovoltaics are not a god damn vacuum. If this kind of half assed logic were drawn out to other types of energy receivers like satellite dishes then technically we have drawn more information from transmitters than is actually received. Now let that sink in and realize the paradox there. Next the Sun is radiating in all directions in its Sphere of influence. To think that this tiny blue dot that is roughly 93,000,000 MILES away could have any impact on that absolutely massive object is insane. This is just as crazy as saying that all the dry land on the planet as we know it today was completely submerged under water. It is an impossibility.
The Sun weighs about 333,000 times as much as Earth. It is so large that about 1,300,000 planet Earths can fit inside of it.
Yeah that is like trying to stop a train by shooting it with 1 .50 caliber bullet. Earth would have no impact what so ever.
R U kidding? Here in India we are experiencing unprecedented heat levels….the cool hill station I live in is today a sweltering sauna…..This is just propaganda by the deadly nuclear industry which does not want free energies to come it as free fuel technology will bury them entirely…
Yep.
Scientist who study the sun have been saying for decades that the Sun is shrinking and has been “measured” as losing 5′ of diameter a year and they’ve been charting this over a hundred years. That alone would cause a lot of havoc with our seasons. Plus, didn’t I read a story recently about they photographed a hole in the sun?
I don’t think you have a good understanding on how the sun works. There are “holes” but there not the kind your thinking of. You are most likely talking about hotspots, solar flares or Coronal Holes. 2nd, the sun is not shrinking. That’s a myth. This was a mis-study that claimed the sun was actually larger, but there were errors found and instead we discovered the sun is the same size as it was in the 1700s(the study was using data from the 1700s).
The sun has been hit with comets and has had huge objects circling it for longer then the earth has been around. Trust me, the sun doesn’t give a f**k about some solar panels.
Google search “sun shrinking myth” and you should find a few good sources that a explain why it is a myth.
Do you realise how insignificant 5′ a year is to the sun? The sun is 4 563 648 293 (ish) feet. That is 0.0000001096% of its total diameter. This has been going on since pretty much the time when the sun was born. Billions of years ago. This. Does. Not. Affect. Our. Seasons. And these ‘holes’ are sunspots. Areas of the Sun that are hotter. Again, a natural phenomenon. Again, have no negative impact on anything. Ever. The sun will die in 10 billion years, nothing we can do will change that. This is something that has been observed elsewhere in the galaxy. This is primary school science in Britain. I was taught this at the age of 11. What do people get taught where you’re from?!
they’re not dim…they are hoping we are…
ugh…google geo-engineering….. 🙁
Very humorous article.lmfao. Some people buy a chemistry set and voila, they are scientists. These are the type that works for WIT. They must be on crack!
Some commenters on this site do not understand that this is a satire site. i.e. the poll on the side asking who Obama’s third term running mate will be. Very funny.
Prople don’t really believe this, do they? The solar energy that reaches the earth left the sun 93 million years ago. This is technically and logically impossible
People don’t really believe this, do they? The solar energy that reaches the earth left the sun 93 million miles ago. This is technically and logically impossible
LOL this is funny as hell. I love people’s comments. I guess nobody even knows that nationalreport.net is a satirical site and of course no scientist anywhere has made the ridiculous claim that solar panels actually drain the sun’s energy.
“This article is proudly brought to you by your friendly regional oil company….” Halliburton must be in bed with the oil or coal companies.
Halliburton is the oil and coal company.
Google search Halliburton: Halliburton Company is an American multinational corporation and currently one of the world’s largest oil field services companies with operations in more than 80 countries.
Halliburton is the largest Frac company in the world, they have been fraccing for over 50 years. Is it any wonder that the study that was financed by them promotes the use of fossil fuels. Next they may fund a study showing that frac water is safe.
Haliburton is the oil company.
Makes me think of James Thurber’s 1933 anecdote about the lady who believed that empty light bulb sockets leaked electricity, which was drawn down into the room.
TFW people still haven’t realized this is a satirical website.
I don’t find anything they produce to be humorous though.
It’s just stupid misinformation, more toxic than anything :/
Or the 2000-something Kimball NE woman who didn’t want windmills installed because NE was already windy enough.
For a second, I thought this was an article in The Onion, until I realised someone was taking it seriously.
…You do all realize that this is a satirical site, like the Onion, right? It’s a joke, no one actually believes this.
You just went full retard. Never go full retard.
LMAO
Even if this were true, and I have sincere doubts about that considering that photovoltaic cells are using almost the exact same process as photosynthetic plants, to think that Earth as tiny as it is compared to the sun will have any impact on it is rather arrogant. Combining the energy requirements for the entire human race doesn’t even remotely compare to the excess heat and light being put out by the sun.
You do realize this article is an obvious joke, right? It is not being serious….
Well its not almost the exact same process, but you are right it will have no effect on the sun,
Solar Pannel do not draw sunlight but receive sunlight!
Yep.
This is the biggest pile of gibberish that I’ve ever seen. But considering the source, I’m not surprised.
Do you hear that whoooooshing sound…?
This is truly dumb. The sun puts out an insane amount of energy, most of which is absorbed by the atmosphere. To think that we can even begin to get close to draining even a fraction of it’s energy output is to truly not understand how immense and powerful the sun really is. This is just propaganda.
“The science in Ghostbusters is more sound than the science in that article.” – Mark
I almost blew my lungs inside out when reading about solar panels drawing too much energy from the sun. What do we do about he light it sheds across the universe; as do all stars? Would we be cutting into sunlight Uranus should be getting?
How many languages can I say STUPID in?
Solar panels aren’t efficient enough to do what they are claimed to as is as they degrade as fast as any other electronic crap. My monitor went dead the other day.
Look up solar roadways if you want a good laugh.
Electronics only degrade so fast because we outsource them to other countries to have them built cheaper and some conspiracists would even try and argue that they’re purposely built not to last so that we must spend more to drive the economy. See… from the standpoint of any company’s investors, cheaper labor means higher profit margins, faulty products mean repeat sales and services, so why make quality products that last? We wouldn’t be filling their pockets with cash. If we raised our national integrity back to what it was even just 60 years ago and produced things internally for ourselves we would make them better, because we would want them to last.
How about you leave your American Sieg Heils at home. Go watch Century of Self understand your capitalist market, and then ride your high horse to the closest occupy siting and stay there until your have that epiphany that forces you to do something be that war, rebellion, or submission, but please whatever you do… keep your billy madison ass rants to your God damned self.
I don’t know what is better… the hilarious concept of this satire piece on a satire site, or the comments of people who truly don’t look into anything before getting upset. We are hardly a spec to the sun, the mere concept presented in the title should give it away! FUDGE I love the internet.
For this to be taken as fact you have to be smoking some good drugs
Dejavu 😀
Seriously guys, please put your solar panels away! They are draining the life out of me!
ROFL! Never!
This is pure D propaganda and also a BIG FAT LIE! Big oil doesn’t want sun tech. Coal doesn’t want it either. It will harm their profits but instead of getting on board with this future technology, they cling to their archaic and environmentally harmful products. Their money is more important than our environment and our economic stability. I’d be willing to bet they are behind this along with the politicians they own. How evil!
Don’t worry Jean, it’s not coal. The oil giants are shutting down all of our coal mines here along the eastern coast. 1000’s are already out of work.
FOR FUCKS SAKE PEOPLE THIS IS A SATIRE NEWS SITE. Does anyone do any research for themselves or they just follow whatever they read on the internet? Jesus….
THIS
IS
SATIRE!!!!!
I used to think satire news like this was funny, but honestly there are too many ignorant people out there who will just believe anything. Seriously, reading these comments makes me sad.
Absolute bullshit!!! Even if the solar radiation that powers solar panels did drain energy from the sun, and every square centimeter of the earth was covered with a solar panel, the amount of the sun’s output that hits the earths surface at any given time is about 1×10^-1%, which means that 99.99999999999% of the suns radiation misses earth. Additionally, once the energy required to create a photon is used by the fusion of hydrogen into helium, and the photon leaves the sun, that photon and the energy it contains is gone, it doesn’t matter if that photon strikes the surface of the earth, flies of into deep space or is absorbed by a photovoltaic cell and converted into energy, there is no way for any additional energy to be “drawn” from the sun. Someone needs to actually pay attention in physics and thermodynamics classes.
Yeah, what Erik said!
Yeah, what Stuart said!
Not a single, factual bit of scientifically valid information in this entire article. We are not as stupid as the author. Please do not insult us by assuming so.
If your going to try and do clever maths, please get it right. 1×10^-1 = 0.1 Put the percentage sign and your saying 99.9%.
Not disagreeing with the principle, to properly work it out, you would need to consider the spherical dissipation of energy from the sun, then take say the average distance from the sun in our elliptical orbit,
The consider the surface area of the earth compared to to the surface area of the imaginary sphere at that point.
Then express one quantity as a percentage of another.
I agree, exactly what Erik said, well said Erik
Psuedo-research by the uneducated for morons. Since 47% of Americans believe human vampires are real there will be a number that buy this nonsense.
They’re using vague terms like “pull” and “drawn” to explaining how forced photovoltaic drainage works and going no deeper. This is BS science. There needs to be an explanation for how capturing light with solar panels influences the rate at which the sun burns trough hydrogen in the nuclear reaction at its core. I see no way for the earth to have any influence (great or small) on the rate at which the sun burns through its hydrogen fuel.
Additionally, they’re predicting 300 or 400 years before the sun would “die out.” That’s in stark contrast to the roughly 5 billion (not million) years credible scientists say it will take the sun to burn through its hydrogen and become a red giant star.
Neil deGrasse Tyson really hits it home in this short clip from “Cosmos”…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_8LaMEIWEA
Are these ‘big bang theory’ scientists? How stupid the author can be to release such stupidity? I can’t believe someone can be that much brainless (vacuum the sun energy…OMG).
And also, all of us are a bit stupid to read such nonsense.
Tesla’s Forces must WIN !!!
Is there anyone out there who, like me, believe this idea is as ridiculous as the idea man is the main reason for climate change.
Please think about this, solar panels are passive they don’t search out light they just use what the sun provides. Don’t counter one stupid hoax with another.
Pls.
“as ridiculous as the idea man is the main reason for climate change”
99% of scientists would disagree with you on that one. I’m willing to bet they are much less idiotic than you.
Believing that this idea is as ridiculous as not seeing how burning fossil fuels creates green house gasses. Greenhouse gasses cause planets to warm. Check out Venus. Its atmosphere is full of greenhouse gasses.
We have two extremely easy to grasp facts here.
1) We burn a shit tonne of fossil fuels every day
2) Venus shows us that greenhouse gasses do warm a planet
In other words
1) We are sending a fuck load of greenhouse gasses into our own atmosphere
2) We will be like Venus sooner than later, due to fact one
Get it? Pretty simple.
I actually did a paper on this in school. We inject 1/100,000Th of a percent of greenhouse gasses in the atmoshpere with our most pollutant source (coal powerplants) per year as compared to what the earth releases itself (volcanoes southern ocean CO2 releases, etc). So please feed us more of your propagandist bullshit, it fits in perfectly with this article. Until you do the numbers yourself, you are completely blind to anything related to science. All you can do is suck the asses of those who do it for you and claim they are 100% correct.
(continued) on top of that, the fauna of the continental US is MORE than enough to consume everything the whole of mankind puts into the air without batting an eye. As I said DO THE MATH YOURSELF QUIT BELIEVING EVERYTHING YOU READ ON THE INTERNET. On that note, don’t even believe ME … DO IT YOURSELF!
Adding to what Adam said, the majority of greenhouse gases are created from methane-producing animals (pigs and cows) which we breed and keep massive herds of. In actuality the best option to reduce fossil fuels is to switch to meat alternatives like soybeans.
Large amounts of soy are not healthy to eat. This country produces mostly go soy which is even worse
I should be resting in peace but these morons don’t let me sleep and shut the fuck up.
Alright, smart guys like me who figured out special relativity and all that knows at the first sight that this article is a joke.
And because you morons doesn’t even know how to use the internet, (Fuck I died a long ago even before shits like Google were there!)
I did a quick Google search, “Wyoming Institute of Technology” what I got was that such institution does not exist on earth. So I went back to heaven to check if it’s there and no it’s not there either! So non-existing institution obviously can’t do any research or publish anything.
And HOLY FUCKING SHIT you idiots, if you think putting some solar panels on earth would some how magically increase the rate of nuclear fusion in the Sun’s core, I would of finished making a nuclear fusion reactor by putting solar panels around it before I am dead.
And you fucking idiots, from now on, learn how to read disclaimer. They are very important, as it gives joke websites like this exemption from being sued for bullshitting around, which also helps you to know that these are all jokes.
Okay idiots, I am gonna go back to sleep, and you folks stop disappointing me about humanity.
*DISCLAIMER: There is no heaven, so you can’t install any internet nor any computer there. And I ain’t no Jesus. And Jesus didn’t resurrect either.
you made my day..
Well this is perfect. Let’s combat global warming with solar panels. Let’s drain the sun to stop the warming of the planet
Yep.
That was suppose to say WOW. I am in no way in agreement with the bobby h idiot above.
SURPRISE!!!! Halliburton chooses to remain on the dark side. Who’d a thunk it? Thank you “America”s #1 Independent News Team” Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin. I feel so enlightened. No, wait, I think it’s just gas.
Well done NR. Well done.
Okay .. now how many things are wrong with that article .. well first of all if you were to put a vacuum cleaner underneath a waterfall, the water will only dissipate as fast as it would normally .. why .. because it’s a waterfall and the water falls from gravity and get replenished from precipitation .. so are they saying that the sun precipitates the energy which is expanded from it? Secondly how can a study which is only just 3 years give such conclusive evidence that solar panels are even effecting the sun at all. If what has just been said is true, then we no longer have to worry about global warming .. as it looks like solar panels are going to be the solution to that, although I’m not sure about why all the other planets are also warming up, but hey I’m not a lab rat scientist so I mustn’t be able to understand. I wonder what these propaganda architects actually did .. did they sit there with a solar array and have a light globe which was supplied energy by a power station and then observed that the longer the light globe was in front of the solar panels the more energy was drawn from the light globe, far more than the energy drawn from the same light globe which was in a room without solar panels.
Well I guess that thanks to this report which is obviously going to be used to be able to charge people with a sun usage tax in order to make some big fat cat even fatter this must be real and accurate, it’s a bit like how the guy argued about the lead in petrol and in paint how it wasn’t affecting the environment at all.