WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been diagnosed with STFU, according to multiple media outlets. The diagnosis became public shortly after Palin blamed both President Barack Obama and the condition known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for her son Track’s arrest on domestic violence and weapons charges.
Track Palin allegedly struck his girlfriend and threatened suicide during a drunken rage; a result of PTSD and Obama’s neglect of veterans, said the 66-year-old former vice presidential candidate.
“STFU is an all too common condition,” said Harvard University endocrinologist Dr. Althea Thoone. “Often, the ego runs away with itself, fueled by delusions of grandeur, and a false sense of importance, intensified by fluctuating hormone levels and poor diet. Although treatment is available, our success rate in curing the condition is very low. Sadly,” admitted Thoone, “most patients never STFU.”
Palin’s comments, which she categorized as “the elephant in the room,” highlighted her stump speech delivered in support of Republican frontrunner Donald Trump in Oklahoma.
Veteran’s groups and political commentators slammed Palin’s blaming of Obama for her son’s behavior, noting that Track Palin went to war under the Bush administration, came back home under the Obama administration, while efforts to aid veterans have been repeatedly blocked by Congressional Republicans since his return.
Palin took to Facebook to respond to critics:
“I expect nothing less than the lamestream media and ultra liberal attacks by the political elites, twisting and obstrating the facts that are more than clearly understood by real Americans across our great nation. The blame game rests with the top brass and our inadequate Commander in Chief, and trickles down those many multiple caves of neglectfulness overshadowing our men and women in uniform, after they have so unselfishly and bravely sworn to protect and uphold us all, both overseas and abroad, in deference of our national interests and hard-won freedoms.”
Dr. Thoone says that a cure, or at least a more effective treatment for STFU, is on the horizon, but added privately, “For some patients, it can’t come soon enough.”