09202020Headline:

Jared Kushner’s Dick Sued by Pencil Company Over Brand Confusion

WASHINGTON, DC— Jared C. Kushner, husband of first daughter and East Asian entrepreneuse Ivanka Trump, was named as Defendant in a lawsuit brought by Gotwood Pencil Company, alleging brand confusion between Defendant’s dick and Plaintiff’s [...]

Trump Paints Himself Into A Corner in Oval Office

Image Source: Flikr Donald J. Trump, fresh from a second contentious Oval Office meeting with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, wasted no time blaming both Democrats for the breakdown in negotiations designed [...]

Vladimir Tops the List of Most Popular Baby Names in US

WASHINGTON, DC — Vladimir now heads the list of the most popular baby names for American boys, bumping Jackson, Aiden, Lucas, and Liam from the top spots. The Russian moniker began trending last year, reflecting the increasing number of Republican [...]
Melania

Melania Trump To Promote Healthy School Lunches, More Exercise As First Lady

THE WHITE HOUSE — Melania Trump wasted no time in announcing her pet project as the nation’s 45th first lady. During a luncheon hosted by outgoing first lady Michelle Obama, Mrs. Trump said she wanted American children to adopt healthier [...]

Donald Trump Hires ‘Clueless’ Stacey Dash for ‘Negro Outreach Program’

TRUMP TOWER — With his poll numbers among black voters hovering around 1%, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump reportedly tapped actress and FOX News contributor Stacey Dash as his “Negro Outreach Program” Ambassador. “She connects [...]

Sarah Palin Calls for an End to Women’s Suffrage: “We’ve Suffered Enough!”

// WASILLA, Alaska — In a series of now deleted Facebook posts, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said voting for Hillary Clinton would “tarnish the silver strides women have made throughout history’s golden arches ever since the Bronze [...]


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