(AP Photo/Patric Schneider)

God Smites Arian Foster for Atheist Views

HOUSTON, TX – In an interview with ESPN’s Tim Keown, running back Arian Foster announced that he didn’t believe in God and was smited three days later with a season ending groin injury. “I told him not to talk that way about the [...]

Embattled Dentist Subject of Investigation of Alleged Threats Made Against The Detroit Lions

Dr. Walter Palmer, a practicing dentist in Minnesota, gained fame last week when it was revealed that he illegally killed famed lion, Cecil the Lion.  Cecil the Lion of course, is named after world-renowned racist and genocide advocate Cecil [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

North Korea To Induct Pete Rose Into Sports Hall Of Fame

In a move viewed by most international relations experts as an obvious attempt to antagonize the United States of America, it is being reported that North Korea plans to induct retired American baseball player, Pete Rose, into the nation’s [...]
(AP Photo/Chris O'Meara, File)

Hulk Hogan: “Thank Christ No One Heard What I Called The Asians”

The latest celebrity to fall out of favor and completely off the Politically Correct wagon is wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan. A transcript of a racist tirade allegedly spewed by Hogan – real name Terry Gene Bollea – made the rounds and [...]
source: originally posted to Flickr as Jeff Gordon Pit Stop 1997- NASCAR Photography By Darryl Moran

Jeff Gordon Pit Crew Members to Gay Marry

NASCAR Veteran supports gay engagement between pit crew members SONOMA, Calif. – In the wake of a poor day at the track in which an ill-advised tire strategy doomed him to a 16th place finish, news coming from Jeff Gordon’s #24 [...]
(Photo by: Dennis Van Tine/STAR MAX/IPx)

Diddy Do It? Kettlebell Hip Hop’s New Weapon

LOS ANGELES, Cal. – Since news broke of Sean “Diddy” Combs’ arrest on three counts of assault with a deadly kettlebell, the popular weight room devices have been disappearing from training rooms and gyms in record numbers, with reports [...]
(Photo : Vanity Fair)

Caitlyn Jenner Wants to be First US Senior Women’s Open Champion

Malibu, CA – The USGA is set to debut the first ever US Senior Women’s Open Championship tournament in 2018 and Caitlyn Jenner, 65, says she wants to be the first to hoist the trophy. Caitlyn Jenner – formally known as Bruce Jenner – [...]
(AP Photo/Michael Probst)

FBI Ready to Cure FIFA’s Blatter Infection

ZURICH – 79 year old FIFA Official, Senn Blatter, steps down after thirty years of rampant racketeering and massive organizational corruption. FIFA, which stands for the Federal International Futbol Association, came under heavy scrutiny [...]
(AP Photo/Lionel Cironneau)

International Olympic Committee Considers ‘Gender Neutral’ 2016 Games

With the reveal that the male Olympic champion formerly known as ‘Bruce Jenner’ is now known as a female named Caitlyn Jenner, the International Olympic Committee has reportedly reconsidered their stance on gender in respect to [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

Bob Costas Mistaken for Jockey at Preakness Stakes

BALTIMORE – American Pharoah won the 140th running of the Preakness Stakes on Saturday, thundering down a rain-soaked sloppy track to edge out an eight-horse field during a pouring rain. The rainstorm’s severity necessitated the clearing [...]
Floyd Mayweather Jr. gestures during a press conference challenging Mitt "Mittens" Romney. (AP Photo/John Locher)

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Challenges Mitt Romney to Boxing Match

Former Massachusetts Governor and 2012 Presidential candidate Mitt Romney participated in a boxing match Friday evening against legendary five-time Heavyweight Champion Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield. The two-round bout raised [...]
(AP Photo/David Zalubowski, File)

Tom Brady Sacked, Drained After Balls Deflated, Reputation Stained

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. – According to close friends and associates, Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady felt emotionally “sacked” after the recent release of an NFL-commissioned report suggesting he was “at least generally [...]
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Barack Obama Indicted Into NBA Hall Of Fame

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. – Even though Barack Obama has spent more time on the golf course than any other president in history, ironically it’s the NBA Hall of Fame that will be rewarding him with honorary entry into their ranks, and not [...]
(David L. Ryan/The Boston Globe via AP, Pool)

Aaron Hernandez Suspended Three Games Following Murder Conviction

The NFL has weighed in on the fate of Aaron Hernandez. NFL Media Insider Jeremy Jones reported late Friday evening that the New England Patriots tight end will be suspended for the first three games of the regular season and will be fined $10,000 under [...]
(AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Jordan Spieth Mistaken for Sleazy Real Estate Agent

AUGUSTA – A mere hour after winning the 2015 Masters Tournament by tapping in for bogey on the final hole, 21-year-old PGA champion Jordan Spieth was mistaken for a down & out real estate agent. “A whole bunch of guys came in wearing [...]
(AP Photo/Jay LaPrete)

Hoosier Daddy Now? Bobby Knight Returns to Indiana University

BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA – Legendary Indiana Hoosiers men’s basketball coach and infamous hothead Bobby Knight reportedly met with Indiana University’s Athletic Director following the Hoosiers’ embarrassing 76–81 loss to [...]