(AP Photo/Toby Talbot)
<National Report>This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic consequences far worse than global warming.
Scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology, a privately-owned think tank located in Cheyenne, Wyoming, discovered that energy radiated from the sun isn’t merely captured in solar panels, but that energy is directly physically drawn from the sun by those panels, in a process they refer to as “forced photovoltaic drainage.”
“Put into laymen’s terms, the solar panels capture the sun’s energy, but pull on the sun over time, forcing more energy to be released than the sun is actually producing,” WIT claims in a scientific white paper published on Wednesday. “Imagine a waterfall, dumping water. But you aren’t catching the water in buckets, but rather sucking it in with a vacuum cleaner. Eventually, you’re going to suck in so much water that you drain the river above that waterfall completely.”
WIT is adamant that there’s no immediate danger, however. “Currently, solar panels are an energy niche, and do not pose a serious risk to the sun. But if we converted our grids to solar energy in a big way, with panels on domestic homes and commercial businesses, and paving our parking lots with panels, we’d start seeing very serious problems over time. If every home in the world had solar panels on their roofs, global temperatures would drop by as much as thirty degrees over twenty years, and the sun could die out within three hundred to four hundred years.”
The study was commissioned in August 2011 by the Halliburton corporation, who wanted to learn if the energy giant should start manufacturing and selling solar panels domestically and internationally. Halliburton’s executives wanted to know more about the sustainability of solar energy and how photovoltaic technology might evolve over the next ten years. But based on the findings of WIT’s research in the field, Halliburton revealed on Friday that they will not be entering the solar energy market.
“Solar panels destroying the sun could potentially be the worst man-made climate disaster in the history of the world, and Halliburton will not be taking part in that,” the company stated in a press release issued Friday morning. “It’s obvious, based on the findings of this neutral scientific research group, that humans needs to become more dependent on fossil fuels like oil and coal, not less. Because these so-called `green technologies’ are far more dangerous to the Earth than any hydrofracking operation or deep-water drilling station. What good is clean air when our very sun is no longer functional?”
I’m doing my part. My primary source of energy for my product is methylamine.
Methylamine sounds very liberal, I prefer plain alcohol. I’ve been using it for years, and I have to say it has been a real eye-opener. Many people have tried to persuade me to stop, but how would I then keep myself and my children warm during the winters, especially if the Sun dries out? Thank you for this article, my conviction for alcohol as an only sustainable solution to worlds problems has grown stronger than ever
More like the crystal meth you’re snorting.
Whoosh
So, WIT being privately owned, is in which Oil and Gas companies back pocket? This study is complete garbage, and a great example of how people try to use fear tactics to stunt real progress. Have a look at this revolutionary concept and tell me that this is not simply a poor response to progress like this.
http://loiter.co/v/why-are-we-not-funding-this-2/
Informed people have been condemning these solar glasses for years. They’re expensive to make and produce little energy. It’s just a way for tree huggers to feel good about themselves. And most are used in marijuana farms, by the way, which Obama’s “big science” will never admit. Likely the meth labs you read about in the news all the time too. Bascially its the drug addiction and the liberalism stupidity that goes with it which will destroy America in the end. Thank you Matt Rock for arming us with the TRUTH since you know CNN will bury this story. The libtards censor anything that proves the global warming is a hoax.
This gave me a good laugh. But it would be better if it contained more logic and realism.
Stephenson (and any other mindless dolt,)
When I clicked in this, I thought it was parody, like The Onion. Now I see that the writer is serious. Wow! how unbelievably stupid
Seriously? You have a brain in your head? Is it the size of a peanut?
That’s it, ban solar cells and we will win the War on Drugs. Oh, and it is amazing this news article made it through the libtard censor. It is good we have people like you that know the Truth and can explain it all to the rest of us that just can’t seem to grasp it. You and logic need to get together for more than a passing kiss.
‘And most are used in marijuana farms, by the way, which Obama’s “big science” will never admit.’ – OMG the stupid…. IT HURTS! IT REALLY HURTS!
You know you just fell for some grade A bullshit right? If solar panels are used in these “marijuana farms” then they must be cheap and useful. if they are cheap and useful then why isn’t everyone using them?… If you did any research of your own instead of relying on articles like this, you would find out that there is no way earth could drain the sun of its energy. For example: Speaking in terms of volume, 1,300,000 Earths fit inside the Sun. In relative terms, think of Earth as being the size of the head of a pin and the Sun as being the size of a basketball. In terms of mass, the Sun weighs approximately 333,000 times more than Earth.
It’s like saying, a potato drains energy from the sun because it can power a clock and it gets its energy from the sun.
Stephenson, get a grip buddy. Based on the fact your are operating a keyboard indicates some form of cognitive function. However openly thanking someone for telling you that you can suck water from a waterfall faster than it can fall is just mindless. Not sure if you realised this is a complete joke but to actively post your informed opinion on the matter just made it even funnier. I thank you for your hypocrisy.
Before writing a response as you have done, I would encourage looking for the literature backing the presented claims. Data suggesting this, if in any way valid, would likely be found in a high-end journal. These journals are peer reviewed by some of the best scientists across the world and may be our best chance at capturing information that is not politically driven. Moreover, it is important to recognize the upcoming energy crisis is not solely about America, it is about the world as a collective. Targeting groups, lifestyles choices, and political arenas in the fashion you have done is of no advantage.
How can you honestly believe any of this? Try finding any information about this, and don’t tell me it’s “censored” because you obviously have the internet, when you cant even find conspiracy theorists about something let alone scientific fact (of which they have quoted none) then somethings gotta give. Not to mention this “study” was apparently funded by one of the biggest oilfield companies out there, they felt the need to say neutral, im betting it wasn’t. Global warming is a fact, it has been documented in many other countries than your own, by many very qualified scientists, is Obama censoring the Canadian, British, Australian, Swedish and Japanese news too? Plus many many others? Its not the “libtards” as you say who will destroy this planet and its people. Its the Ignorance of people like you who refuse to believe what is set in front of their faces. Already I can see you getting angry and making some cock and bull reply.
The HOAX is the so-called study which is a paid-for propaganda piece courtesy of Dickless Cheney’s Halliburton oil development company. This would be like asking McDonald’s to fund a study to see if french fries are healthy.
Maybe you forgot or wanted to keep it quiet, but…..KBR, a former subsidiary of Halliburton, was awarded a no-bid contract worth as much as $568 million through next year. This deal was announced only hours after the Obama Justice Department informed the public that it was joining a suit filed by whistleblowers who allege KBR used kickbacks to get foreign contracts. LOL, #mountingObamacorruption
Agreed!!! How can something make the sun produce MORE energy?? Soooooo STUPID. YOu would have to be an IDIOT to believe this, or to believe that we’ve made no impact on our environment and climate change is a hoax. How have people grown up this dumb and thinking those trying to make change are the one’s ruining the country? It’s almost too hard to believe the lack of critical thinking and simple analysis. Crazy.
Agreed!!! What a hoax!…and unfortunately, idiots WILL believe this propaganda garbage. Let’s see…”research” funded by Halliburton….we could deplete the SUN’S energy in 300-400 years….today’s solar panel industry is an “energy niche”…three major red flags right there, to any discerning reader with the ability to think for himself. Don’t you think we earthlings would be extremely hard-pressed to FORCE the SUN to do anything – let alone magically produce more energy than it already possesses? C’mon people, demand facts, do some research from unbiased sources, and stop being lead to the slaughter by Big Money.
The only thing being threatened is the current way business is being conducted by Halliburton.
Damn fucking right it is and it should be for things such as this! It is a complete and total shame that they are doing this. It is just propaganda so people like you Stephenson, and Heisenberg keep buying their oil products and destroying our planet. What gives you the right to kill any children and grand children that I have? Because that is exactly what you are doing. I am guilty of driving and having a large carbon footprint but now I am slowly changing. Little things like riding my bike to school and work and getting things such as solar panels and wind turbines to decrease the amount of energy I draw from the power grid. And by supporting good innovative ideas such as solar roadways. BTW Stephenson this “liberalism stupidity” is complete bullshit. You know that conservative thing you belive in? ITS CALLED CLASSICAL LIBERALISM. Men such as adam smith came up with the idea of capitalism and welfare capitalism and Laissez-faire economics. At least look into things before you start spouting out stupid shit. all your doing as making yourself look like an jackass and some one who dose not care about things and just says random shit.
My first thought here was, how the dickens could our teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy solar panels actually drain energy from the sun from millions and millions of miles away? It’s just crazy talk!
What a load of garbage. I provide facts, you scream lies and libel. Well, try giving us some proof. Or maybe your boss at Soros, Inc. hasn’t updated his script? Obama has done nothing for the middle class of this country, our taxes are rising. He disgraced himself with Fast & Furious, Solyndra and Benghazi. Now, he’s attempting to run a third time, violating everything sacred in this country. You fools are just so in love with him because he’s a liberal bordering on full scale communist but will you be happy when his police forces come to seize your guns? Your land? Your children? Well if you had any of those in your life, you would care instead of shouting radical talking points. God bless.
You sir are officially stupid. Obama is no where near a communist. Communism (you are likely referring to what is now know as stalinism BTW) has different Ideals and ways of doing things such as in a communist system there is no such thing as private property everything is state controlled. There is no economy or profit or private business once again everything is state controlled. Nothing obama has done can be considered a communist thing. You sir need to pull your head out of your ass this is not the 1960’s and the cold war is over! Obama has brought great proposals forward that would do nothing but benefit your country. Unfortunately gun toting idots like you believe everything ever said by anyone and any corporation and you think he will do nothing but harm you. Infact i dont think he can do anything that could possibly fuck up your country more than it already is and you are the prime example of this!
I’m sorry, but what the hell does Fast and Furious have anything to do with this argument? Are you really trying to blame Hollywood movies on Obama? And for the last time, he is NOT trying to take away your damn guns, even though the intense amount of garbage that you’ve spewed would make me believe that you shouldn’t have them. And who the hell even said that he’s going to run for a third term? Are you for real right now?
Cannot agree with you more! Who in their right minds would believe this horsekaka?
Thanks. I figured from the headline that this was a fact-free zone, but I had to follow it.
Any kind of study that involves Halliburtion is unreliable, lets see a study from an outside source,
Sounds like the big fuel companies are pulling a fast one over our Eyes.
Like Solar panels are going to kill the sun… Whatever
Well I guess if you think the sun is going to last forever if we don’t take the route of solar, and with that you also think that the alternative sources of energy will not kill the planet faster, than I guess you could also think that pigs have wings and that there is no global warming. You obviously are a gun holding red neck American who thinks that the world is flat. Its clear where you stand and you have been and always will be the ones who did nothing but use your elitist and narrow minded views to finish what’s left of this planet off. Oh mr Stephenson, king of all who are informed, what do you suggest we do for energy, oil should have been done away with years ago…. As for the ignorance of using liberalism stupidity, no comment for the republican. Your the idiot who supported a country run by a Dick and a Bush. (enough said)
http://www.wikihow.com/Sample/You%27re-Your-Usage
Now with all do respect HB I am a gun holding redneck American who is neither a republican or democrat, but a humanist. I do not believe a word this Article says and believe it to be propaganda by corrupt bureaucrats. We do need to find a way to perfect alternative energy sources. Though as long as you support any politician who comes from a political background and continue to vote for people who make false promises (which all these presidents have even our current) then this country will be no better so stop with the insults will you. I do not agree with Mr. Stephenson either but it would be better to bring hard facts to the table instead of insults such as: Fossil fuels energy efficient levels have been progressing for over 200 years given the same amount of time and effort solar wind water and geothermal energy resources will also gain in efficiency levels. As more are being made the better they will be made.
You call me a red neck like it’s an insult. I’m proud to be American and love this nation and support our Constition, our 2nd Amendment and our Troops. But I guess you don’t care about those things? Is your obsession with Obama and his socialist agenda really blinding you to reality or maybe you just don’t care if the USA burns? Most of Obummer’s biggest supporters only love him because they want free welfare or they’re into his promotion of sexual devancey. Are you a sex devant? All that nonsense makes you sound like one. In a real patriotic world, people like that would be in jail.
HB,
I am a gun holding redneck and I have known since elementary school that the sun would not last forever. Everything has a cycle in life, the sun included. I would appreciate it if you would keep your name calling, bigoted and ignorant stereotypes to yourself.
As far as the answer for energy is concerned there are a lot of options out and not a single one will the be answer. Too much of any one thing in an environment throws off the balance causing homeostasis to be lost. So there for in theory we need to use multiple methods around the globe that fits best for that environment it is situated in. I personally think each family should produce their own energy for their homes using solar, wind, gas or a bicycle hook up to a generator making the kids take turns. The bicycle comment was a joke but you can power your home with that method. We need to learn to become energy conservatives. Do we really need every light in the house on? No. Do we really that water heater keeping hot water 24 hours a day when we really on rely on it about 8 hours of the day (about the time we need hot water, not sure about other households.) Do we really need to leave the computer on all the time? No.
By replacing half my lights with LED lights I cut my electric bill by 35%. Do we really need a streetlight every 16 -20 feet in downtown? No cars have headlights to see at night. Oh but they make the sidewalks safer at night cry the weak. Solution – carry a 9mm! But guns kill people cry the weak. Yes they do. If you shoot enough criminals they will get the hint that they pay isn’t worth the hazard! My household is attempting to become energy independent as much as we can my installing a 1kw wind turbine and 1kw in solar panels (5 – 200 watt panels) which I am sure is a bit much once we have converted everything to LED, replaced the water heater with a geothermal water heater.
BTW – I don’t trust this study at all. Why? Because they don’t present the evidence in this article, Haliburton paid for the study and the journalist that wrote this piece is a political analyst who has studied, political science (science of politics and policies), culinary arts (chef or cooking school), foreign affairs (foreign policies and politics) and journalism. The author, according to his credentials would even know how a photovoltaic cell worked, let alone understand the science behind the study he is reporting on!
HB, let me tell you a little something, you don’t know anything about a “gun holding red neck American”. You talk about stupidity, yet you make remarks about something which you know nothing. You use racist slang like you are special. The lack of intelligent comments from you just reminds us all that stupidity abounds in all sorts of places. As with many things in life, some folks don’t take too kindly to change no matter how much better things might be because of a change being made. So blow off all the steam you wish to, its fine by me. But if I were in a war and this country was being attacked, I would rather stand should to should with a gun totin’ Southerner who knows how to defend themselves and the country they love. We will turn around to see you running the other way……
*you’re
Enough said
Really guess you missed this moron. http://energy.gov/articles/celebrating-completion-worlds-largest-concentrating-solar-power-plant
You got sucked in to an obvious satire article. You WANT to believe this so much, that you were willing to believe a ridiculous story where a ‘think tank’ puts out a scientific paper with implications that completely defy the laws of physics.
You are an ideologue.
…Or you are trolling along with this satirical article, and your post is convincing enough that I can’t tell the difference.
Wow, I stand corrected about my earlier post calling this article the stupidest I’ve ever ready on the internet. You’re comment is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read on the internet. When I read this article I asked myself “What kind of moron believes this stuff?”, wondering in ernest if really such a person even existed. Now I know the horrible truth.
I will have some of whatever you are smoking!
Are you serious? Are you really this stupid? Solar panels steal the sun’s energy? Really?
Mr. Stephenson, you truly need to get an education. Real science has nothing to do with politics. Real science is about facts and truth. This, however, is what you call junk science. If you knew anything about physics, you would understand that. A rational/informed person would see that this is nothing more than an oil industry propaganda aimed at discrediting the competition. I am for certain that this study’s results would not be reproduced by an independent group.
>Stephenson, I’d normally go into an explanation of why you’re an ignorant idiot, but I’m confident most already have come to that conclusion. Yes, this article is a joke, sure we’re not reading the Onion? Done correctly, solar is an efficient way to harness virtually unlimited energy. Is the technology perfect? Nope. In the 50’s, cars got 8-10 mpg, ’nuff said? I’m no tree hugger but I’m a realist and if you want to continue relying on Halliburton, Exxon/Mobil, etc. to provide for our future power needs, I’m glad you’re not in control.
Yeah, and let me guess, you’re one of those people who believed the “neutral scientific” findings funded by the lead industry that showed lead wasn’t harmful to people’s health. And you also probably believed the “neutral scientific” discoveries funded by the cigarette companies proving that Cigarette’s weren’t harmful to health.
This study is just as much a “biased” piece of garbage as those were.
I notice the article didn’t say “these findings have been replicated and supported by other scientific groups around the world”.
hahahahaha you’re fuckin’ dumb man. comon….really?
To anyone who believes this news story: I have a bridge that the libtards don’t want you to own, but I am willing to sell to you! Jesus Christ and Dick Cheney appeared to me and told me that they want you to buy it!
Hey man , you can’t run a marijuana farm on solar , it just has a to low power output. You need big old fossil fuels for the ganja man ! i’m speaking out of experience.
Apparently you’re not part of the informed people, while it is true that solar panels efficiency is quite low and that they are expensive, anybody who has the slightest understanding of how the sun works knows that mass is the main factor controls stars energy production (via nuclear fusion). So to modify the sun’s life span you have to modify its mass and you absolutely CAN’T do that with solar panels. I’m no physicist (in fact I just completed my degree in chemistry) but well…your TRUTH is what WELL informed people calls propaganda.
My husband (who knows way more than me cuz he’s a MAN) says that Halliburton did ANOTHER study about how to get information from terrorists.
Apparently you just hang the terrorists upside down and all the information falls out of their mouths.
Aint they a smart bunch?
you cant seriously believe the drivel you’re spewing.
how bout use a lick of common sense
So global warming is a myth – at the same time you say solar panels will drain the sun of all of its energy in 300 or 400 years? You can’t have it both ways my friend.
Stephenson, you do realize that this site is satirical in nature, don’t you? While most of the articles are satirical there are a large number that are more “chain yanking” than satire. And BTW, there is no story here for CNN to bury. Move along, nothing to see here. 😉
I reside in a fairly affluent neighborhood – with many houses using solar collectors.
I can vouch for the veracity of this phenomenon encroaching on our daily lives.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve been measuring the hours and intensity of daylight to a detailed log, and in my experience it is a clear fact that the energy drawn from sunlight decreases significantly for a recurring period on an almost predictable annual basis.
In the northern hemisphere, my records show this occurring between October and March – plus or minus a few weeks – exhibiting significantly less solar energy output than the other months of the year.
Marijuana farms? Meth labs? Really? First of all, I would like to say that there are NO legal pot farms endorsed by the United States government which means that our current president, whether you like it or not, has nothing to do with what looks to you like hippie propaganda. Also, one cannot be physically addicted to pot and I would advise that you do some research that doesn’t show up as a Fox News article. This article has shown nothing other than that it has nitwit researchers that can’t possibly believe that we are essentially ‘stealing’ energy from the Sun. The SUN, for Christ’s sake. Are you kidding me? For the record, global warming is not a hoax and continues to be a threat to earth’s environment. Bringing down the global temperature, as this faux research suggests, would actually help to fix the issue if it’s even true. The only thing I can hope for you is that you’re being 100% satirical, but chances of that are quite slim. Good luck to you, sir, on your journey to see the light.
Although this article provides some interesting points, it is also the funnyiest troll article i have ever read.
I give you 10 points for being a comedian.
Cheers
The solar panels should be used at non-peak times, such as night. This way, the energy withdrawal will be spread over more time periods, and result in less damage to the sun.
if you use them at night, you can drain energy from stars only and then add that energy to our solar system FTW!!
You guys are on the right track here!
John… that is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a LONG time!! hahahahahah Not only will we not kill our sun, but we’ll also kill any alien enemies’ sun that might want to invade us!! Simply BRILIANT!!!
Haha!
Then the solar panels would drain all the energy out of the universe and the universe would go dark in 50 years…
…you know, since stars are so much smaller than the sun, they’d disappear faster.
We might start an interplanetary war if we start stealing energy from space.
You, sir. You have just made my night.
What is this, the Onion? Only an IDIOT would think this study, bought and paid for by THE OIL INDUSTRY is anything other than a biased pack of lies. Solar panels no more drain the sun than trees do. What a goddam FRAUD this whole “study” is!
the fuck?
Use the solar panels at non-peak times like night?
Is that not the most ridicules statement ever? You must have been high cause you wrote it at 4:20
hes joking.
Your sarcasm detector is broken.
I don’t think Suitcase’s sarcasm font is working again! At least that is what I hope, cause can people be that stupid?
The perfect solution! And here I was about to panic
please please tell me you are all joking. this is the most ridiculous pile of crap i have ever heard in my life.
Are you kidding me? You actually fell for this crap? Do you not know the size of the earth compared to that of the sun? The size of our galaxy compared to the earth? Too many peanut sized brains in this world!
I think the word “Solar” in the term “Solar Panels” is the clue.
What a HORRIBLE idea! Sure, we may be saving the sun, but instead we would end up draining the energy out of every star in the sky. The universe would be destroyed!
Idiot.
Perhaps we could angle the solar panels in such a way as to shoot the energy back at the sun? We’ve gotta recharge that sucker before it is too late!
Oh my what startling news(!?) Curious as to who owns this independent stink tank in Cheyenne and I would be even more enthusiastic about spreading this “scientosh” report when I see the independently peer reviewed research published in a scientific journal or on something of slightly better quality than the paer I would hesitate to wipe my arse with! So Mr Rock, it is time to get yourself properly educated.
As a person with a layman’s understanding of science I particularly love your vacuum cleaner analogy Mr Science Writer. Have you ever investigated the workings of a vaccuum cleaner Matt Rock? Did you realise that a vacuum is a nothing? And your humble vacuum cleaner only produces a tiny little bit of “nuffinkness” to use a little yobbish colloquialism on a par with the quality of your indepent and incisive reporting.
In a well established feature of Newtonian scale physics; that most vaguely interested 16 year olds in the UK can understand: a nothing can’t actually do much more than… wait for it…. drum roll please…. nuffink!
Vacuum cleaners work because the air pressure of the atmosphere PUSHes the assorted crap in your carpet into the bowels of the cleaner as the pump reduces the internal pressure within the the energy guzzling beast. It’s strangely analogous to the way the wind works.
In a similar manner your Stink Tank’s assertion that the increased solar panel area will actually suck more energy out of the sun is laughable!
In fact I am thinking of buying a subscription to this journal because it is even funnier than our UK based comic VIZ. ViZ presents scientific TRUTH in a manner fit for the baying masses that would flock to characters like Palin and Cruz! Having said that, I realise that Palin and Cruz are of the same generation as Roger Mellie the Man on the Telly and Buster Gonad, the man with titanic testicles and seem to be fading into the fetid swamp of history in a similar manner. Over in VIZ country we have to put up with some very unsavoury characters such as the Profanisaurus and I think that clearly the time is right for a bit more Matt Rock enlightenment! Yep I can save money and laugh my bollocks off endlessly at the bilge published here! When did your career as a comic script writer start Matt? Our local BNP need a speech writer as they have run out of completely useless nonsense to spout!
I will of course be recommending all of my friends read this as they are all in need of some uplifting entertainment from Matt Rock and the National Report. Carry on with the utter bilge and the fine example of biased journalism that seeks to hide reality wherever it interferes with the Halliburton view of the world!
I despair – I have just audited the rest of your reportage and the quality and accuracy is shameful. Mind you it’s better than Fox News 😉
This is such a load of crap.
Do you actually believe this? In layman’s terms (and I am a layman) Solar panels work by absorption of energy not by drawing it in. If that was the case we should chop down all the trees on earth – they must be “drawing” in a lot of energy as well
The liberals have known about this for years and since the discovery of an earth like planet 2000 light years away they have been hell bent upon destroying this one and the majority of it’s inhabitants because they don’t have enough room in the ISS for everyone to get there. Harry Reid is fooling no one about his BLM land grab in NV for a solar farm to speed up the process. They must think we are stupid!
OK. I know it’s a losing battle to try and convince anyone here of the complete scientific ignorance of this article so I’ll just offer up something simple and obvious. If you throw a ball at someone and they catch it; does that force you to throw more balls or throw harder? No. Catching the sun’s energy is exactly the same. It already threw its energy out there and NOTHING we here on Earth can do will EVER have any effect on that. Don’t even get me started on flying the ISS to another planet or using SOLAR panels at NIGHT. lol
Because you are stupid, this isn’t true. try finding any information supporting it
Wow, what a way to come out swinging the MORON baton!
1) This report is a fraud made up by the oil industry that funded the so-called “study”
2) An earth-like planet 2,000 LIGHT YEARS away, that’s 12,000,000,000,000,000 miles, would take somewhere over 2 billion years to get to with our technology.
3) The ISS is a small orbital research station. It doesn’t have room for “colonists” AND it has no engine to push it out of Earth’s gravity field and on course for a star thousands of TRILLIONS of miles away.So yea, after that epic fail of a post of yours, we KNOW you are stupid.
You don’t have to be a liberal to think that you are stupid.
LOL!
Are you the BEST troll or the WORST person?
I can’t tell, so either way, bravo on doing your thing so efficiently!
Apparently they would be right!
Oh gosh! Now I know why Obama never revealed his birth certificate!
He’s from that planet you mentioned!
lmfao are you guys kidding so plants are draining the suns energy two like wtf is wrong with you guys this is the most retarded study i have ever herd of so some retarded scientist on the oil companys payroll does a study thats totaly biased and were suppost to swallow this crap think about it
National Report (nationalreport.net) is a satirical website devoted to often subtle parodies of real news which convince the unwary.
Guys, please. You’re taking this a bit seriously. This site is the same as The Onion. That is to say: It’s fake.
Even if things that happen on earth were capable of influencing the fusion reaction in the sun, which they aren’t, the earth receives less than a billionth of the sun’s total energy output. Could it be that Haliburton has paid someone to lie for them???
If you actually believe this cockamamie article please go to your nearest pier and take a long walk off, feel free to breath in deep once you’re under the water, experts say you’ll grow gills and will be able to breath like fish.
The conservatives would suck the life out of any resource if they could get their hands on it! Luckily the Sun is anti-conservative and spews it’s energy all over the earth like a stupid liberal!
Well…sorry to disappoint but this is bullshit. Not only was the “study” commissioned by an oil giant, but the science makes no sense whatsoever. Anyone that thinks the amount of solar panels on the planet has *any* effect on the sun can’t do math.
PS In situations like this it’s fairly customary to add links to the real articles themselves…which I can’t seem to find. Probably a great journal…and from some for-profit nothing school too. Great job cherry picking industry biased science to support your own political beliefs and misleading the masses.
And what the hell do you think the entirety of the plant population on earth does with the suns energy? Give me a break, this article is LITTERED with disinformation, funded by HALIBURTON, the most corrupt war-mom getting corporation on the planet, whose sole wealth depends on the adoption of a fossil fuel future. WAKE THE HELL UP PEOPLE.
This seems legit, I think we definitely should be worried about the sun running out of sun juice. I think we should be burning more oil and coal to warm up the planet just in case the sun does go out. Maybe after that we could send Bruce Willis up and he could lasso a star and we could steal that stars light for a while.
LOL
You know, Kaolin, I think thats the best idea anyone has had so far!
This is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read.
Who funded these scientists – the oil and power companies? I can’t believe some of the comments on here. Let’s blame the liberals, tree- huggers and Obama again- all out to destroy the human race in the name of environmentalism lol. I’ll be glad to see the human race become extinct considering the deterioration of its intelligence.
I have to ask, are you fucking retarded ?
Experts say ???
Where do you find these so called experts ?
This is pure stupidity. Solar panels can only catch energy that the sun has already released. They can’t force the sun to do anything! Especially not drain the sun. The sun releases the energy regardless if we take advantage of that fact or not. Ignorant fools!
Light travels in every direction, making mention of draining the suns solar energy, you have just demonstrated and confirmed the sheer stupiity of the Useless States.
A country with less intellect than the Taliban, Al Qaeda and Somalia.
I have heard the most ridiculous opinion that could ever be imagine by the globes lunatic nation.
You have got to be joking!
Plants are natural solar pannels since million years, Black rocks, too. This is the most stupid thing I have read in a long time, the sun cant be influenced by what is on a tiny planet revolving around it, or even the moon would have drained all its energy since a long time. It is like telling you could shortenen battery life of a flashlight by aiming to a mirror, complete BS.
Light cant be pulled out, whatever it will meet, it will bounce, get absorbed or transformed to energy but it wont change a thing to the light source.
This is the dumbest article I think I have ever read. Anyone who believes this shouldn’t be allowed out in public as you’re a danger to everyone around you. No wonder there’s no author listed beside the article as I would also be embarrassed to have my name published with such incredible nonsense.
It comes as no surprise to me that a quick Google search for the WIT yields zero results.
Solar panels reducing the 15b years the sun may have left to just three or four hundred? Come on guys… this is BS… “Neutral” scientific research group?” They actual had to clarify that?! Halliburton clearly paid them very well to publish this. This oil company who commission this BS is probably shaking in their boots, panicked, and this was the result… a BS report and bad rep for Wyoming Institute of Technology… big mistake guys.
This is the biggest BULLS*** i have ever read in my life…. I can’t believe you posted such a un-researched article. How much was the “privately funded” research centre paid to say that solar powers drain the sun. The sun is hundred of thousands of miles away and solar panels have no effect on it! The sun provides energy to us all day long, its natural. Oil spills are polluting our fresh water, fossil fuels pollute the air we breathe and make us sick! DO SOME REAL RESEARCH BEFORE YOU POST SUCH BULLS*** ONLINE!
You guys all realize what a completely asinine notion it is for anything we do on earth to have any sort of effect on the sun at all, right? Right? Please tell me you’re not stupid enough to think that having a black square on Earth could negatively impact a celestial body?
This is tantamount to saying that adding a drop of food colouring to a river is going to turn the whole lake that it flows from red.
*facepalm* Oh humanity…
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/03/opinion/03tue3.html?_r=0
So let me get this straight. Halliburton’s former Executive created the “Halliburton Loophole” which allows companies to hydrofrack in people’s back yards with little renumeration while making billions of dollars. They then also funded a study to see if they should enter their competition’s business market in Solar panels. They found it would probably cost a lot of money and not be as profitable as they had hoped and so they decided to run a smear campaign about solar energy instead of investing in clean renewable technology (go figure). This article has propaganda written all over it as the writers of the article clearly have a vested interest in seeing hydrofracking remain profitable. They also clearly seek to portray a negative image about a business they are not invested in (renewal energy). Any person with half a brain would see that this article is a load of B.S — the sun produces so much energy that it wouldn’t detract from it even if we placed solar panels on every piece of land on this earth. It’d be great if we could use solar panels to lower the earth’s temperate a little, as it is currently set to raise 2 degrees in the next 100 years (which is enough to destroy this planet — at least the way we live now). It’s only a matter of time before the American people and the world wake up to these types of companies that are destroying our environment, our atmosphere, our water, and I only hope it’s not too late for us to do something about it as a nation.
Noticed that there aren’t any footnotes referencing where they are getting this information! Like an actual scientific journal would.
I’m sorry but if you believe the above posting you’re probably either mentally challenged or just didn’t graduate from high school. For those of you who by some chance graduated from high school you have probably either cheated your way through school or just had a school with low standards…
This is a total BS study. C’mon people, are you that naive? The study was commission by Halliburton who obviously doesn’t want solar competing with its dirty fuel.
Are you commentor fucking kidding me. I mean you can’t really be this fucking stupid can you?
Lol this is funny and a great spoof. It sure hooked the repub-a-dubs. they’ll believe anything if it appears to discredit the Liberals.
Just say “Experts say” and they’re landed.
I don’t normally post comments, but I had to on this one. This whole article is BS. Why you may ask? I’ll give you three reasons
1. The “study” was conducted by the Wyoming Institute of Technology. A simple search of their website informs you that WIT provides education in automotive maintenance, marine watercraft maintenance and electrician programs. This is the type of institution that would be conducting such “scientific” studies.
2. The “study” was commission by Haliburton. That should be the biggest red flag.
3. There’s an ad for solar panels next to the story.
Learn to think for yourselves people.
I meant to type “This isn’t the type of institution that would be conducting such “scientific” studies.
That might just be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. The SUN is going to run out of energy if we use more solar panels here on our tiny little planet? These people are truly insane.
Not surprisingly, it’s from “the Wyoming Institute of Technology, a privately-owned think tank” and not a real university.
Also…”The study was commissioned in August 2011 by the Halliburton corporation.”
Of course it was.
I liked the part where Haliburton didn’t want to proceed because the sun isn’t sustainable, and would drain the sun and sell off the future of humanity.
You’ve just got to be kidding, right? The speck of earths imprint in the infinite array of the sun, actually sucking energy from the sun to the point of it being overdrawn seems beyond a stupid concept. Perhaps a little more presentation of the concept is necessary or perhaps the fault lies in people like me actually taking the time to read spoof. Gawd!
This is ludicrous. I had never thought possible to read something so blatantly false and unfounded being presented as remotely true. And to dare present this as ‘scientific’ is a crime against intelligence.
There is no way the sun can be drained of its energy. Seriously. The Sun’s energy is emitted in space, in all directions, and it does not matter to the source of this energy whether it’s absorbed on a field, a road, a moon, a distant interstellar gas cloud or a solar panel. Have those would-be scientists even suggested a mechanism by which the conversion of solar energy to electricity could affect nuclear reactions in the Sun’s core to “drain” it from its energy? No. Because there is none. This is absurd.
There are real arguments against wide-scale solar energy. No energy production is perfect. But this? I feel sorry for anybody who is consciously speading such lies to further their own agenda.
These same scientists have been quoted as saying “when someone takes a picture of you, it not only captures an image, but actually sucks away a part of your soul as well. This is why celebrities lose so much of their humanity over time.” Brilliant satire. I hope.
I don’t even think this can be called pseudoscience, just bullshit, a study commissioned by what is essentially an oil company saying that solar panels can destroy the sun, and you all blindly believe it?! Get informed and stop being bigots.
Elementary my dear Watson….
There is no record of any business or institution named the wyoming institute of technology via the internet. Please post proof of study, either through a press release from Halliburton, or through the study via this privately owned company that has no information about it, including through public tax records.
I love my solar energy. This entire website is hilarious. People do understand that this website is completely satirical, right? Basically what I mean is that people aren’t dumb enough to believe what’s written here, right?
At first I thought this was the Onion. Then I saw Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin’s photos on top of the page, now I realize the “experts” are just overpaid whores for conservative ‘MURICA. No need for actual science here, just fear and mental illness, and good ol’ fashioned love-making with your cousins.
The sun will send the same energy at the same rate it would have with or without solar panels. We cannot draw more nor will solar cells affect the “pull” in any way, shape or form. Solar panels collect only what is being sent already via the Sun. The Earth or any celestial body or the flora on it does not act as a load. The sun is not a battery and space is not a circuit.This is basic Grade 9 science. Energy conglomerates however wants to play on the fears of the..less educated. The ultimate aim is to try and have a continued reliance on oil, gas, hydroelectric, nuclear and coal power.
This is hog wash and pseudo-science at best. No I am not a Liberal I just understand science and detest misinformation, especially for greedy or nefarious purposes.
O.k. this can’t be real. How far away is the sun?? It’s 92 million miles away! Not to mention that 1,300,000 earths could fit inside the sun, it’s that big! Are you saying that a tiny little 10 km area of solar panels that are 92 million miles away could have any effect whatsoever on the sun? You’re an idiot.
This is a comedy blog, right? Please say it is. With scientists being played by comedians. OR…a very poorly abused government grant. Oh, wait…Al Gore must be somewhere in all this. That’s it…Al…
Okay, please don’t publish that last comment. I’m just a noble scientist reading about solar panels, blissfully unaware of this political satire website. Although now I see it, very entertaining, well done.
Oh. My. God.
I seriously hope that all of you are just incredibly sarcastic and don’t actually believe this. First of all; that analogy of “vacuuming up a waterfall” is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. An additional sucking force at the bottom of the waterfall will do no more to speed up the flow or volume of water cascading down than gravity does already. That’s like suggesting if you “grabbed onto” the water coming down from the waterfall and pulled it; you would drain the source above.
Secondly; light is made of photons; small ‘packets’, if you will, of energy; and aren’t connected to each other. Thus; there is no way to ‘pull’ them, or to force the sun to produce more.
Thirdly, solar panels work by having the packets of light react with the panels surface to create energy; meaning that they aren’t ‘pulling’ / ‘vacuuming’ anything towards them.
So, once again I reiterate that I hope you people are just incredibly sarcastic. If this comment doesn’t appear, I’ll know that other people probably attempted to put forth this point and that this site is a bigger media censor than “CNN” because they will have prevented a comment that would have revealed how incredibly lackluster their fact checking process is.
I was laughing so hard when I was reading this I almost passed out. I thought this was an Onion article. Reading the comments made the smile leave my face pretty quickly…
Thank you, I laughed all thru the article and then when i scrolled thru the comments my brain was screeching! I am not the brightest crayon but I am seriously soaked and washed down river from the waterfall before turning on any vacuum.
Huh. Thought I’d clicked on the wrong link, but I’m glad this is a serious news story and not the BS they publish on The Onion. After reading about that alarming study, I’m going to buy several rolls of tin foil to make hats for myself and all my friends so we can help keep the sun turned on.
I hope so too because we can’t run out of sun juice.
THANK YOU!!! Finally, someone who is well informed and isn’t just slinging BS around. And isn’t it amazing how this article begins circulating just as a company has invented a way for solar panels to be installed in parking lots, side walks etc. The company is about to launch everything in full swing, and abra cadabra, these articles appear???
For anyone who wishes to employ Google, search Solar Roadways…..the end.
Hahahahahah! Oh, good one. Who knew Halliburton was so environmentally conscious. Can’t stop laughing.
Almost as funny that, on my browser, this anti-solar, anti-intelligence propaganda ad, has an advertisement pop up for how to install a solar photo-voltaic system. “This article sponsored by – the other side”
I seen that too lol
I never heard something so stupid like that. The sun is a gas powered planet millions of miles away from the earth … please explain someone to me how we can “drain” a planet by using its sunrays wich are there anyway .. does that mean people should not expose their skin to the sun because we could “drain” the sun too or how about plants, they use sunrays to help produce oxygen, they are dangerous too, so lets get rid of trees and plants !! thats the most stupid thing i ever heard …
What a bunch of crapola. The sun is four and a half BILLION years od and has another four and half BILLION years to go. You are right when you say this is stupidity.
You’d have been a lot more convincing if you hadn’t mis-classified the Sun, a main sequence star, as a planet. The sun is no more a planet than Jabba the Hut.
Hold on… with that last sentence, do you mean the Sun is no more a planet than it is Jabba the Hut? Or the sun is no more a planet than Jabba the Hut is a planet?
We have to know before we can make an informed reply.