Donald Trump Wants Debates To Be Pay-Per-View

TRUMP TOWER, N.Y. — To offset skyrocketing campaign costs, Donald Trump reportedly asked the Commission for Presidential Debates to broadcast the upcoming face-offs against Hillary Clinton as pay-per-view (PPV) events. The first debate will [...]

Facebook Doesn’t Get Satire: Bans It Anyway

<Menlo Park, CA>Once a bastion of social media comedy, Facebook has slowly tightened the noose on satire for page admins due to the hiring of hundreds of drones that are unable to perceive humor. Recently, Facebook introduced a new feature [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Clown Anti-Defamation League Says ‘Donald Trump Makes Us Look Like Fools’

KEOKUK, Iowa –  Citing “permanent damage to the reputation of clowns the world over,” the National Clown Anti-Defamation League demanded that major media outlets stop portraying Donald Trump as a clown, because “he’s [...]

National Geographic Will No Longer Feature Nude Natives (NSFW)

The National Geographic magazine, first published in 1888, will no longer feature nude native women under a new partnership with 21st Century Fox, the multimedia conglomerate owned and operated by the family of Rupert Murdoch. The magazine, [...]

Kim Davis Signs with Christian Book Publisher: ‘I’m a Survivor’ to be Released in Time for Christmas

New York City, New York – Sources are saying that Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who made headlines for refusing same-sex couples marriage licenses, has signed a seven figure book deal with Forever Faith publishing and her memoir I’m [...]

New Facebook Dislike Button Will Delete Posts With 10 Dislikes

Facebook released new information on its planned integration of a dislike button into user posts today and it will likely be greeted with ambivalence. It appears that the dislike button will not just be for show, but will in fact be functional, [...]

KY Man Slides Hard Into Megyn Kelly

Williamsburg, KY – Wayne Kerr, better known around town as “KY Man”, made local headlines last week when he accidentally slid into Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly at the Kentucky Splash Water Park in Williamsburg. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle [...]

Conservative Lion Rush Limbaugh, 64, Found in Palm Beach Home

PALM BEACH, Fla. – Radio talk show host and conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh, 64, was found in his Palm Beach home with what doctors called natural causes. Emergency responders failed to arrive at his seaside home. Limbaugh’s lifelong [...]

Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade Fails Pepsi Challenge, Chokes On Air

NEW YORK, N.Y. – Advertising gurus, fans of television commercials, and t.v. addicts alike recognize the “Pepsi Challenge” as a milestone in brand marketing and advertising. The 1980s blockbuster campaign, seen as a genius promotional [...]

Col. Allen West Believes Rambo is Real and Fighting ISIS

Allen Bernard West, 54, (R) former member of the United States House of Representatives, retired U.S. Army lieutenant colonel, and current Tea Party blowhard, believes the fictional character Rambo is real and about to take on the Islamic State. Earlier [...]

Bob Costas Mistaken for Jockey at Preakness Stakes

BALTIMORE – American Pharoah won the 140th running of the Preakness Stakes on Saturday, thundering down a rain-soaked sloppy track to edge out an eight-horse field during a pouring rain. The rainstorm’s severity necessitated the clearing [...]

Ron Paul Warning to America: Obama is Black

iNTERWEBS – Across hundreds of news and social media sites, former presidential hopeful Ron Paul has delivered a dire warning that the U.S. is heading toward a massive crisis because our president is black. “I was in Congress for 22 [...]

Satirical Website “Bloomberg Politics” Apologizes for Posting Actual News Article

The satirical website Bloomberg Politics (http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/) issued an apology to its readers yesterday after discovering that it had erroneously posted an actual news article based on a similar piece originally found on The [...]