01262015Headline:
Azealia Banks

Top Hollywood Psychiatrist Believes Azealia Banks Is Exhibiting Signs Of Schizophrenia

(West Hollywood Hills, CA) – Azealia Banks has taken to twitter with a barrage of racist and delusional tweets aimed at the white race, all of Australia, and pretty much anything else unfortunate enough to cross her viciously psychotic [...]
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Obama’s Comments Send SONY Stock Into Freefall

THE WHITE HOUSE – SONY’s stock price plunged to an all-time low after President Obama’s critical remarks on Friday about the corporation’s decision to cancel the premiere of the Seth Rogen-James Franco comedy The Interview. [...]
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Obama Fines ABC For Broadcasting Charlie Brown Christmas; FCC Cites Christian Bias

<National Report>The Federal Communications Commission, acting on an executive order issued by Barack Obama, fined the ABC television network for airing A Charlie Brown Christmas, because several overtly Christian references were found [...]
(AP Photo/Rob Griffith)

Sydney’s Lindt Cafe Receives Multiple Negative Yelp Reviews Following Hostage Crisis

While the investigation into the deadly hostage siege at Sydney’s Lindt Chocolat Cafe begins, it’s business as usual for crowd-sourced review sites, especially Yelp. Several customers – some of them who survived the 16-hour [...]
(AP Photo/Achmad Ibrahim)

Facebook To Be Shutdown For A Full Week To Perform Standard Maintenance

<National Report> Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook founder and CEO, has announced that the social media giant will experience a week-long shutdown, due to standard maintenance being performed on the site. Starting at midnight PST on January [...]
(AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

NRA’s Wayne LaPierre: “The Liberal Media Never Reports About All Of The Times That People Weren’t Killed By Guns”

Fairfax, VA – Following the second anniversary of the tragic school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., NRA President Wayne LaPierre lashed out at the “liberal media’s” obsession with gun violence. “Sure, [...]
Sean Hannity

Sean Hannity Agrees To Rectal Feeding For Charity

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News television host and conservative commentator Sean Hannity announced his intention to be “rectally fed for charity,” in support of Bush-era enhanced interrogation techniques (EITs), revealed in a highly critical [...]
The-Force-Awakens-Ending

LEAKED: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Ending

Last week a person by the name of Spoiler Man went on a Star Wars: The Force Awakens leak rampage! According to his leaks, there will be no Boba Fett, no Darth Revan and at least no Jar Jar Binks or Ewoks. “The film is dystopian and darker [...]

All Black Remake of ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ Stars Tyler Perry

<National Report>It was bound to happen. First, a mixed-race version of the Broadway musical Annie, starring Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz, and now actor/producer Tyler Perry, best known as the tough-talking, streetwise transvestite “Medea,” [...]
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Darren Wilson To Retire In Style Courtesy of Generous Donations From His Supporters

// // // ]]> Darren Wilson, the officer who was acquitted in the murder of Mike Brown, has resigned from his position at the Ferguson Police Department. Since Wilson’s departure from the police force, the 28-year-old high school [...]
(image: Michael Gil  Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic 800px-Ambulance_Toronto_March_2010_(1)

Top Conservative In Critical Condition After Refusing Blood Transfusion From ‘Minority’, Says He’d Rather Die

<National Report>Conservative hero and Tea Party-backed Representative Jay Wilson (R-NC2), is reportedly in critical condition after being involved in a multi-vehicle collision near Raleigh. Duke Raleigh Hospital ER Supervisor Dr. Gardiah [...]
3-Obama_ThanksGiving_Turkey_Pardon_- original-2009 (image- Lawrence Jackson - Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons

Obama’s Pardoned Turkey Sickens Hundreds At Soup Kitchen

<National Report>The turkey that President Obama pardoned, then donated to a Washington DC soup kitchen has reportedly sickened scores of women, children, and the homeless with what appears to be a strain of E coli bacteria. The ceremonial [...]
Bill Cosby US Navy photo by Scott King - Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons

Bill Cosby: I’m Being Raped By The Right-Wing Media

HOLLYWOOD, CA – The news just got worse for comedian and once beloved TV dad Bill Cosby amid mounting allegations of sexual assault. First came word that Netflix postponed a Nov. 27 premiere of Cosby’s new standup routine, then [...]
(image: Mcumpston - Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons)

Man Arrested for Anti-Obama Facebook Post

<National Report>A Stillwater, Minnesota man was arrested on Monday evening, charged with threatening the life of President Barack Obama in a Facebook post he says he made in jest. The US Attorneys’ office said Tuesday morning that [...]
Cotton Plant (Source Wikimedia Commons)

Craigslist Pulls Ad For Volunteer Cotton Laborers; Sharpton Calls It Slavery

<National Report>Fairhope Alabama cotton farmer Grady Pepper placed a help wanted ad on craigslist seeking volunteer workers to maintain his 40-acre cotton field, on the grounds of historic Willowwood Plantation. The ad received more [...]
Tahmooressi

Obama Takes Major Credit For Marine’s Release From Mexican Prison

<National Report>Barack Obama took credit today for Mexico’s release of US Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi, ignoring charges that his administration was slow to act in securing the former marine’s freedom. The President praised the Mexican [...]