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FOX News Anchors Will Open Carry During RNC Broadcasts

CLEVELAND, Oh. — Fox News Chairman and CEO Roger Ailes is requiring his news correspondents to open carry loaded firearms while covering Cleveland’s upcoming Republican National Convention, sources say. The order, backed by NRA president [...]
Photo by Martin Fisch Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Mother of Slain Gorilla Calls for Peace as Protest Turns Violent

Cincinnati, OH – Gargantua, mother of the unarmed 17-year-old silverback gorilla shot dead by Zoo officials after a toddler slipped inside his cage at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, is calling for peace after protests erupted [...]
(AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

Facebook Doesn’t Get Satire: Bans It Anyway

<Menlo Park, CA>Once a bastion of social media comedy, Facebook has slowly tightened the noose on satire for page admins due to the hiring of hundreds of drones that are unable to perceive humor. Recently, Facebook introduced a new feature [...]
Phot by Gage Skidmore Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Ted Nugent Bids 75K for Zimmerman Gun

Sources say rocker Ted Nugent has reportedly bid 75,000 for the gun used by George Zimmerman in the Trayvon Martin killing. // The auction listing on GunBroker.com lists the weapon as a 9 mm Kel-Tec PF pistol. The listing also says a portion [...]
Photo by Gage Skidmore Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]
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Clown Anti-Defamation League Says ‘Donald Trump Makes Us Look Like Fools’

KEOKUK, Iowa –  Citing “permanent damage to the reputation of clowns the world over,” the National Clown Anti-Defamation League demanded that major media outlets stop portraying Donald Trump as a clown, because “he’s [...]
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‘Starbucks Christian’ Joshua Feuerstein Outed as Masked Indie Wrestler ‘Bronco Beefcake’

Glendale, AZ – According to multiple sources, evangelist and social media personality Joshua Feuerstein was outed over the weekend as ‘Bronco Beefcake’, the masked independent wrestler for the Arizona Wrestling Federation (AWF). Joshua [...]
(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Sheriff David A. Clarke Outed as KKK Member in Anonymous Hack, Allegedly

The “hacktivist” group Anonymous, which last week vowed to expose Ku Klux Klan members, is starting to leak the names and personal details of alleged KKK adherents, according to news reports. On Sunday and Monday, Anonymous gave a preview [...]
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National Geographic Will No Longer Feature Nude Natives (NSFW)

The National Geographic magazine, first published in 1888, will no longer feature nude native women under a new partnership with 21st Century Fox, the multimedia conglomerate owned and operated by the family of Rupert Murdoch. The magazine, [...]
(AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley)

Kim Davis Signs with Christian Book Publisher: ‘I’m a Survivor’ to be Released in Time for Christmas

New York City, New York – Sources are saying that Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who made headlines for refusing same-sex couples marriage licenses, has signed a seven figure book deal with Forever Faith publishing and her memoir I’m [...]
FBDislike

New Facebook Dislike Button Will Delete Posts With 10 Dislikes

Facebook released new information on its planned integration of a dislike button into user posts today and it will likely be greeted with ambivalence. It appears that the dislike button will not just be for show, but will in fact be functional, [...]
AP Photo/John Minchillo)

KY Man Slides Hard Into Megyn Kelly

Williamsburg, KY – Wayne Kerr, better known around town as “KY Man”, made local headlines last week when he accidentally slid into Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly at the Kentucky Splash Water Park in Williamsburg. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

Ted Nugent Forced to Masturbate to Rachel Maddow During Megyn Kelly’s Absence

New York City, NY – Reactions to Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly’s sudden two week vacation have been mixed. While most loyal viewers of her highly rated prime time program ‘The Kelly File’ are disappointed to see her go, (Ted Nugent), [...]
(AP Photo/Julie Smith, File)

Conservative Lion Rush Limbaugh, 64, Found in Palm Beach Home

PALM BEACH, Fla. – Radio talk show host and conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh, 64, was found in his Palm Beach home with what doctors called natural causes. Emergency responders failed to arrive at his seaside home. Limbaugh’s lifelong [...]
(AP Photo/Joe Burbank, Pool)

Casey Anthony Breaks Silence: Calls Planned Parenthood “Baby Killers”

West Palm Beach, FL, – Casey Anthony agreed to a brief phone interview with Brian Sparks of WPTV NBC5 early Tuesday morning, breaking her media silence for the first time since January 2013. Under strict conditions set by Anthony’s [...]
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Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade Fails Pepsi Challenge, Chokes On Air

NEW YORK, N.Y. – Advertising gurus, fans of television commercials, and t.v. addicts alike recognize the “Pepsi Challenge” as a milestone in brand marketing and advertising. The 1980s blockbuster campaign, seen as a genius promotional [...]