04172014Headline:
Obama The Black House

EX-SECRET SERVICE AGENT: Barack Obama Is A Gay Muslim & Michelle Obama Is Transsexual

A former Secret Service agent whose new book is quickly climbing Amazon’s best-seller charts, currently ranking 68th overall, said he is concerned about the state of the country and says it is time the public knows the truth about the President [...]
Racks Galore

The National Report Announces its 1st Annual Readers Rack Contest!!!

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief Do you know a gal who is sporting a fine rack? Maybe your best gal is packing a pair of scud missiles, it could be your wife’s quantum heaps, your mistresses McFloppities, or a friend’s [...]
Landing DPRK

CNN Planning Hour-Long Show Devoted to Missing Plane

<National Report>CNN has taken some sharp criticism recently over their nonstop, and often comically speculative, coverage of missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370, and today, it was revealed that CNN hasn’t taken that criticism to [...]
colbert eagle

Stephen Colbert’s Satire Offends Orientals #CancelColbert

Stephen Colbert is a liberal that likes to pretend to be a conservative Christian American. On his show, if you listen to a typical college aged hipster or a member of the NPR types, he hilariously mocks and lampoons conservative and christian [...]
Kanye-West-performs-fred-phelps-funeral

Kanye West Scheduled To Perform At Westboro Baptist Church Fred Phelps Funeral

Kanye West has been scheduled to perform at Fred Phelps funeral procession next week in Topeka, Kansas. The aging patriarch of the infamous Westboro Baptist church passed away yesterday afternoon shortly after he had been transferred to a local [...]
Computer 2

CNN’s “Breaking News Machine” Explodes, Breaks Down

<National Report>Atlanta, GA–Sources in Atlanta, GA are reporting that the CNN “Breaking News Machine” has, in fact, broken. By all reports, it appears that CNN’s vaunted “Breaking News Machine” began making a funny, clicking [...]
george-zimmerman-childrens-book

George Zimmerman Set To Release Children’s Book Series

It seems as if George Zimmerman has found a new calling in life. One that could possibly help restore his public image and help children around the world to avoid situations similar to the one that cost Trayvon Martin his life. Zimmerman, along [...]
miley-cyrus-bangerz-obscene

Miley Cyrus Debuts New Line Of Children’s Lingerie

Sleazy pop-princess, Miley Cyrus, kicked off her “Bangerz” tour earlier this week which left hundreds of horrified and disgusted concert-goers in the wake of her sordid performance. It’s rumored that these live and lascivious [...]
Unknown

Republican Responses to State of the Union Paint Obama as Crop-Sharing Itinerant Dirt Farmer

<National Report>Washington, DC–President Obama addressed the nation today, yet again, with a scripted State Of The Union speech scheduled specifically to tie up traffic around Washington and prevent both houses of the US Congress, [...]
russell-brand-high

Hollywood Immigrants Who Should Be Deported Immediately – Russell Brand

This week we’re going to take a look at one of my least favorite D-listers to have disgraced a television screen with his burnt-out, degenerate shenanigans. A person so thirsty for attention that he will go to any lengths to obtain it, [...]
bono-licks-child-u2

Hollywood Immigrants Who Should Be Deported Immediately – Bono, U2 & Their Fans

I am a proud American who’s aware that the beautiful country he occupies isn’t perfect. It’s not difficult to look around and see our exemplary values of yesteryear being flushed down the toilet in favor of talk show morality [...]
justin-bieber-fast-furious-paul-walker-son-featured

Will Justin Bieber Be Taking Paul Walker’s Place In The Next Fast And Furious Movie?

That’s what the Hollywood gossip mill is churning out this week… Justin Bieber, the 19-year-old pop superstar is supposedly being considered for a leading role in the next Fast And Furious cinematic debacle. It’s alleged that [...]
jim-carrey-jenny-mccarthy-laughing-at-americans

Hollywood Immigrants Who Should Be Deported Immediately – Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy

Hello fellow Christians and welcome to my new bi-monthly column in which I will examine the careers and motives of Hollywood stars not natively born in our country. I intend to expose these foreigners who only wish to take advantage of our beloved [...]
justin-bieber-tweets-retirement

Justin Bieber Announces Retirement (Again) On Christmas Eve – Happy Holidays Beliebers!

‘T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, all the Belibers were screeching and starting to grouse. They bellowed and howled and wailed in despair, it seems the Biebs had abandoned them without care! Merry Christmas [...]
RIPJULIE

Justin Bieber’s ‘Beached Whale’ Comment Leads To Teen Girl’s Suicide

The pudgy sunbather who recently endured Justin Bieber’s cruel taunts aimed at her husky physique has allegedly committed suicide. Julie Gunn was found dead by her roommate in their Harvey Bay flat. She had reportedly knocked back several [...]
Phil Robertson's gay lover speaks out

‘Duck Dynasty’ Phil Robertson’s Gay Lover Speaks Out For The First Time

OUT, a popular gay and lesbian magazine, announced it will be publishing an exclusive interview with Phil Robertson‘s alleged gay lover of 12-years. The magazine released a preview of the upcoming article to various media sources today. “Phil’s [...]


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