08172017Headline:

Trump to Nominate Chris Christie to Supreme Food Court

TRUMP TOWER – President-Elect Donald J. Trump has reportedly assured NJ Governor Chris Christie that, despite recent reports, he has not been banished from his inner circle, and will nominate the Bridgegate behemoth to the Supreme Food Court. “Mr. [...]

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’ Before Photobomb

Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was [...]

Area Mall Offering 10% Discount to Non-Active Shooters

Appleton, WI – The Fox Valley Mall has come under fire (pun intended) for an ad placed in Sunday’s Press Gazette newspaper offering a mall-wide 10% discount to all “non-active shooters” during the month of October. This comes amid [...]

Flint Tap Water Rated More Trustworthy than Hillary Clinton

A new survey released today from the Make Michigan Great Again PAC shows that residents across the state rated Flint tap water higher on the ‘Trustworthiness’ scale than democratic nominee for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton. In the [...]

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar’ Before Blowing Up Friend’s Inbox

De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurred at approximately 4:45 pm leaving the victim, Anthony Stewart, 41, physically fine but emotionally drained. [...]

‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose

Prudence Bradley, 19, found it difficult to put into words what she experienced during her days as a social justice warrior. She didn’t have to. The way the slightly overweight feminist apologetically paused, fought back tears, and forced [...]