Phans of The Phish: Ask Yourselves These Four Simple Questions

It’s a cold and miserable existence for those that have chosen the Phish and the resulting ruin of their own souls. By taking the devil’s wide and spiritually empty road, far too many youths risk the burning fires of hell. But rather [...]

Sarah Jessica Parker Stars In “Mrs. Ed,” Talking Horse Sitcom Reboot

NEW YORK, N.Y. — Sarah Jessica Parker, best known as Sex in The City‘s “Carrie Bradshaw,” will return to the small screen this spring, show-running a new, multi-camera sitcom for CBS, called Mrs. Ed. The series will update [...]

Reality TV Worse for Your Health than Meth, Study Finds

WYOMING—A recent study from the Wyoming Institute of Technology (WIT) has shown that watching reality TV is worse for your brain function than chronic methamphetamine abuse. Previous studies have shown that long term meth use greatly reduces [...]
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Colin Kaepernick Joins Cast of “Dancing With The Stars” Sources Say

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — Since refusing to stand for the national anthem during an Aug. 26 pre-season game, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has become one of the nation’s most universally condemned sports figures. Kaepernick [...]

New threat: Peruvian Psychedelic EDM/Jamband Dengue Dengue Dengue! Now Infecting Youth

By: Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Entertainment Journalist Warning: This exposé documents the evils of the audio visual group, Dengue Dengue Dengue!, a psychedelic EDM Jamband from Peru. Graphic descriptions and [...]
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Pokémon Go Character Jynx Dies After Being Left In Hot Car

BOSTON, Mass. — Jynx, the controversial Pokémon character whose dark-skinned appearance was altered to appease advocates of political correctness, is dead. Authorities say Jynx was left in a hot car “for quite some time,” during [...]

The Phish Mob Devastates Chicago’s Clark Addison Neighborhood

Outraged Citizens Reportedly “Fed Up” With Authorities By: Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Investigative Journalist CHICAGO, IL — The sunny disposition of Mildred Huffingmeyer was quashed on Saturday [...]
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Emmy Awards Announce Addition of “Best Crisis Actor” Category

Crisis actors have been fighting for over a decade to get a category for their work added to The Oscars, but it was the Television Academy this week that showed its branch is more open minded when it comes to updating its awards ceremony to [...]
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Dimmu Borgir on Church Burning Tour

By: Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Investigative Journalist “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. … [...]
Capt. Fister

The Covington Report: Is Captain America Doomed to a life of Flaming Faggotry?

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The Covington Report is the collective works of commentary and editorial pieces from Editor-in-Chief, Nigel Covington. Liberal and progressive extremists have gone too far this time. The insanity began [...]
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BREAKING: Bristol Palin Struck by Semi

Wasilla, AK – Bristol Palin is home resting comfortably after being struck by a semi late Friday night. The 25-year-old unwed mother of two was reportedly broadsided outside Krazy Moose Subs near the intersection of E Herning Ave and [...]
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Bill Cosby Legal Team Denied Motion to Add Laugh Track to Victims’ Depositions

MONTGOMERY COUNTY, Pa. — Attorneys for Bill Cosby, following a judge’s decision that the comedian and actor must stand trial over allegations that he drugged and sexually assaulted a woman in 2004, filed a motion to “enhance” victims’ [...]

Kennedy Center Honorees To Be Shot In Head Before Receiving Award

WASHINGTON — The Kennedy Center Honors bestows awards to five performing artists whose creative contributions have enriched the American cultural landscape. Named after the nation’s 35th president, a patron of the arts himself, the annual [...]

Obama to Paint Lincoln Bedroom Purple to Honor Prince

The tributes to late pop singer Prince have been many in the days following his untimely passing at the age of 57. In Minnesota, the Interstate 35 West bridge was lit purple in Prince’s honor. Similar tributes happened in New Orleans, [...]

Hooping…Harmless Fun, or Illuminati Conspiracy?

By: Cornelius Barthowemew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Investigative Reporter “For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.” – Ephesians 5:12 It was none other than the Lord Jesus [...]
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Trump Parody ‘Hump University’ Crashes Pornhub Servers

HOUSTON, TEXAS – The highly anticipated Donald Trump porn parody, Hump University, was leaked online yesterday, causing a 69% spike in traffic to the world’s largest pornography site, Pornhub, resulting in the company’s Houston based [...]