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Putting the Finger on AC/DC: Parental Music Warning

By Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen TNREPORT, Calif.-The Greek Philosopher Pythagoras, who first postulated the concept of melody, would have barfed up his fava beans had he heard the opening chords of “You Shook Me All [...]
Aaron Logan [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Nevada EPA Considers Enforcing Major Restrictions At Burning Man 2015

According to sources within the EPC (Environmental Preservation Coalition), the Nevada Environmental Protection Agency has been having serious discussions with The Bureau of Land Management regarding the implementation of major restrictions [...]
(Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)

Ryan Seacrest Found Innocent Of All Charges

HOLLYWOOD – Radio personality, television host, and producer Ryan Seacrest remains completely innocent of “any and all recent charges made against him.” The 40-year old celebrity currently has no active warrants for his arrest [...]
(AP Photo/Nick Ut, File)

PC Version of “Grand Theft Auto V” Delayed Again Shortly After Release Date Announced

PC gamers, start your engines… or don’t, because the release of Grand Theft Auto V has been pushed back yet again, this time just hours after Rockstar Games announced that the wildly popular game was finally coming to the PC on [...]
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Daniel Tosh Beaten by Prostitute

LAS VEGAS – Daniel Tosh, comedian, writer, actor, executive producer and host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0, was reportedly beaten by exotic dancer and professional escort Jazmine Holt, 26, at an exclusive Las Vegas gentlemen’s [...]
86th Academy Awards - Insider Backstage

Alert Level Kanye: Academy Awards Beef Up Security In Advance Of Event

Reports out of Hollywood claim that officials with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) have increased security measures ahead of Sunday’s awards ceremony. Chief security officer, George Hudson, explains that along [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar, File)

Millions Mourn As Rocker/Activist Ted Nugent, Age 66, Found Alive

Millions of Americans are reeling after news broke this morning that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, [...]
(Photo by Paul A. Hebert/Invision/AP)

‘Archer’ Replaces Entire Cast With Sound-Alikes After Contract Dispute

The final season of FX’s award-winning animated series Archer, currently in pre-production, won’t sound exactly the same to longtime fans. A last-minute contract dispute reportedly led to the firing and replacement of the show’s [...]
(Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)

Kanye West Replaces John Lennon On 2015 Remake Of Abbey Road

Fans of the Beatles can officially look forward to a 2015 remake of Abbey Road in its entirety. The album is set to be released fall of 2015 and will include original band members Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Paul McCartney has confirmed [...]
(Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP)

Obama Giving $200M To NAACP After “Walking Dead” Fans Fail To React To Major Character Death

President Obama signed an executive order on Wednesday that will see the United States government give more than $200 million to the NAACP, after White House staffers reported that fans of the popular AMC series “The Walking Dead” [...]
(Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP)

Uma Thurman’s Shocking New Look Result Of Gluten-Free Diet

Following in the footsteps of fellow actress Renee Zellweger, Uma Thurman has reportedly joined the bandwagon of female celebrities completely reinventing their image by way of adopting a gluten-free diet. America was stunned when Thurman, [...]
(AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari, File)

Leaked NBC Memos: Americans Are “Too Stupid” for “West Wing” Reboot

[HOLLYWOOD, CA] NBC nearly invested late last year in a reboot of their popular White House drama program “The West Wing,” but decided at the eleventh hour to drop the project, after executives at the studio determined American [...]
Source 	Garbage [2 @ RDTSE 2005] :uthor 	Jérôme from Rouen, FRANCE

Garbage Beckons Our Youth

An Appropriately Named Rock Band  is Creeping into the Consciousness of Our Youth By Cassidy Pen, TNReport Moral Evaluation Specialist and Rock Critic “Come down to my house–stick a stone in your mouth You can always pull out–if [...]
Source 	Garbage [2 @ RDTSE 2005] :uthor 	Jérôme from Rouen, FRANCE

Garbage Beckons Our Youth

An Appropriately Named Rock Band is Creeping into the Consciousness of Our Youth By Cassidy Pen, TNReport Moral Evaluation Specialist and Rock Critic “Come down to my house–stick a stone in your mouth You can always pull out–if [...]
(Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)

Dearest Kayne – Sit Your Punk-Ass Down

The following is an open letter from National Report’s very own Manfred Peregrine… In my long, illustrious career as a celebrity gossip columnist, I have witnessed a plethora of smug, entitled behavior from individuals so egotistical, [...]
(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Crayola Named Fifty Shades of Grey Official Sponsor

Crayola®, best known for its world-famous line of children’s crayons, has entered into a sponsorship agreement with producers of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, based on the 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James, according to [...]