04202014Headline:
Pot smoking hippies at Coachella

National Report’s Weekend Update: From Coachella 2014 Music Festival

By Rayne Covetti Field Journalist Saturday, April 19, 2014 <National Report> This weekend I was assigned to cover the Coachella Music Festival for the last two days of the event on April 19 & 20th. As a good Christian girl I have [...]

Is Candy Crush a Violent Game? This Small Town Thinks So

<National Report>The small town of Washington, Indiana is taking up a new crusade against violent video games, after a young woman was violently assaulted in public by her boyfriend.  But many are arguing that the game the town’s [...]
Reader's Rack Promo 1 copy at 400

The National Report Announces The Winners of Their Reader’s Rack Contest!

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief We at the National Report wish to thank our readers who sent in photos of their wives, daughter’s, mistresses or a stranger’s cleavage to compete in our annual Reader’s Rack Contest. Our [...]
ShiaLabeouf

Shia LeBeouf’s New Film a Knock-Off of “National Treasure?”

<National Report>Hollywood, CA–Shia LeBeouf made headlines not long ago after a series of alleged instances of plagiarism made him late-night television fodder for several weeks.  But just when it seemed the young Transformers star [...]
Bed_bug,_Cimex_lectularius

Hey Kids Pot’s Not Cool… A New Drug ‘Bed Bugs’ Made in 3 EZ Steps (VIDEO)

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief That’s right kids smoking weed is for your mom & dad and the grandparents. Now that more states are legalizing it marijuana is no longer cool. Pot is so yesterday but you can get a better [...]
Biden5

Biden Nearly Chosen Over Colbert to Replace Letterman

<National Report>Few people who pay attention to the world of politics would dare argue against the notion that Joe Biden is a charismatic figure in Washington.  And according to some execs at CBS, the affable, gaffe-prone Vice President [...]
hologram-kurt-cobain-nirvana-tour

Hologram Kurt Cobain To Tour With Original Members Of Nirvana For 2014 Tour

In 2013, attendees of Cochella were blown away when a holographic image of Tupac Shakur walked onto the stage and began performing his hit song, Hail Mary. Since then, record execs have been mulling over which deceased artist they should resurrect [...]
PutinWife

Putin’s Ex-Wife to Publish Shocking Tell-All Book

<National Report>Some American pundits have made tongue-in-cheek claims that Vladimir Putin’s ex-wife, Lyudmila Putina, was going to “disappear” after it was revealed that their divorce had been finalized earlier this [...]
Michelle Obama Star Wars Episode 7

Michelle Obama To Play Wife Of Lando Calrissian In Star Wars Episode 7

Hollywood, CA — Disney announced on Saturday that none other than First Lady Michelle Obama will be playing a supporting role in in the upcoming and highly anticipated Star Wars Episode 7. Disney says the First Lady will be playing the wife [...]
The walking dead intro

The Walking Dead: Most Sinful Show On TV

// // // ]]> A few years ago I learned about a new show that was coming to television. It was filmed in my home state of Georgia, and was about zombies. Most people my age think that zombie talk is a bunch of hoo-doo. But I know better, [...]
Bill Murray Face Shot

Actor Bill Murray Pulls Woman From Certain Death

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief Actor Bill Murray, the Hollywood superstar and Saturday Night Live sensation of the 70s who appeared in comedy classics such as Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack and who portrayed Hunter S. Thompson, [...]
Prison escape from the Shawshank Redemption

Prison Escape Used Scenes From The Shawshank Redemption

Lompoc, CA — A prison escape in California yesterday had all the makings of a real movie; maybe because it was actually based on one. Authorities believe 35-year-old Paul Horner used scenes directly from The Shawshank Redemption to escape [...]
Cossy Orjiakor Tits only

Editor’s Choice: Top 10 Most Fabulous Racks of the 20th Century

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief Here is the National Report’s Editor’s Choice selection for the Top 10 most impressive female breasts of the 20th Century. Check back here next week for journalist Paul Horner’s pick [...]
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Seinfeld Star Wayne Knight Killed While Tweeting in Car

<New York City> Seinfeld and Third Rock From the Sun actor Wayne Knight was killed this morning while using his iPhone to send Tweets. Reports that Knight, famous for his portrayal of the despised “Newman” character on the popular [...]
sxsw tyler arrested pic

Tyler, The Creator Starts SXSW Riot, Hundreds Sodomized.

// // // ]]> Last week I warned you all about the dangers of the sinfest that is Austin Texas’ South By South West, also known as SXSW. Many people did not heed my warnings and attended the horrible festival anyway. The combination [...]
Verizon Price Increase

Verizon Price Increase For Visitors Of Fox News & Other Conservative Websites Begin May 1st

Washington, DC — Beginning May 1st of this year, Verizon is raising its rates for customers who still wish to view any one of the twenty-eight various websites included in their upcoming price hike. Access to one or all of the twenty-eight [...]


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