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Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19

A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19.

The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon.

Dr. Sandra McKinnon reported the team’s findings during a recent US Reproductive Studies Symposium. “It is an undisputed fact that teen pregnancy rates are nearly non-existent when a woman reaches the age of 20. If you encourage your adolescents to abstain from sexual intercourse until they reach this age, the chances of them becoming teen mothers are incredibly slim–Almost nonexistent.

“While the parents are concerned with protecting their young daughters from badly-timed pregnancies, we’re concerned with finding the correlation between the age of 20, and it’s effect on teen pregnancy.”

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Dr. McKinnons findings were hailed as “groundbreaking and revolutionary” by senior researchers who have been attempting to find ways to reduce teen pregnancy rates for 30 years.

“I have faith that this new information will really change the face of reproductive education.” Said Dr. Benjamin Harbo, President of the US Reproductive Studies Symposium. “I think these studies will empower young women to avoid early motherhood so that they can develop their lives and careers prior to making the choice to get pregnant.”

The findings gave others hope. Shelly Keaton, mother of 9 children had her first child at age 18. “To think if I would have just waited until I was 20. I would have never been a teen mother.” She continued, with tears in her eyes, “I want to protect other women from the situation I faced, because let me tell you, teen motherhood is no picnic. You could easily end up with a litter of children who you’re simply unable to support. I still have no idea how to feed all these kids. My life is chaos. Pure, never-ending chaos. Please, abstain from sex until you are 20. Then you may be able to bypass the troubles of teen pregnancy altogether.”

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3 Responses to "Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19"

  1. Bill says:

    Could the significant drop in teen pregnancy after age 19 have anything to do with the fact that after age 19 you are no longer a teen? Just asking.

    • Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni says:

      There is a possibility you are onto something, Bill! But only time, and lots of tax payer money can make a definitively scientific statement on the matter! Until then we can only speculate…

  2. 1101010010110101 says:

    im happy to see national report getting back to its pure satire roots.

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