Young Bristol Palin can't seem to keep her legs closed long enough to keep from falling off her high horse (Photo by Todd Williamson/Invision/AP, FIle)

Bristol Palin: Hillary Fears My Mom’s Power Mower

WASILLA, Alaska – Clarifying an earlier blog post after fierce online backlash, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s pregnant abstinence advocating daughter Bristol took to social media to re-explain comments she made about an old [...]

Nearly A Million People Have Donated to Presidential Campaign That Cannot Win

BURLINGTON, VERMONT — In a Facebook post this week, the campaign for 2016 Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders (I-VT) announced it was approaching a rather impressive historical milestone, especially in the post-Citizens United [...]
(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Republicans Pass Surprisingly Strict New Gun Laws

Washington D.C.- Republican lawmakers have long been vehemently opposed to any type of gun legislation, whether it be a ban on assault rifles, high capacity magazines, or even mental health screenings to prevent the insane from shooting up [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Kevin McCarthy Visited ‘Hungria’, Sarah Palin Says ‘Been There, Done That’

CAPITOL HILL – House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, in a speech meant to inform Republican foreign-policy experts of his international expertise said, “In the past few years alone, I have visited Poland, Hungria, Estonia, Russia [...]

NRA Executive: 45 School Shootings ‘Too Soon’ To Talk About Guns

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA –When a gunman walked onto the campus of Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon and opened fire, killing 10 and leaving another dozens more wounded, it was the 45th such time a shooting has taken place on school [...]

Carly Fiorina Fondly Recounts the Time She Found Atlantis

LOVITZ BLUFF, IOWA — 2016 Republican Contender Carly Fiorina regaled an audience at a campaign rally in Iowa this week with a fascinating, fantastical, and truly unbelievable account of a time she made archaeological and human history [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

House Oversight Committee Looking for Next Woman To Condescend To For Five Hours

WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Oversight Committee Chairman Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) told reporters today that his committee is now on the search for “another woman [his committee] can browbeat, condescend to and treat like human garbage” [...]

Pope Francis and Kim Davis Meet, Discuss Bigotry and Baking Recipes

VATICAN CITY, THE VATICAN — Sources close to both Pope Francis and embattled Rowan County, Kentucky clerk Kim Davis are confirming that a secret, closed-door meeting was held between the two during the Holy Pontificator’s visit [...]
(AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)

Ben Carson Actually White Man In Blackface

WASHINGTON, DC – Long-held suspicions about Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson’s origins were confirmed this week, after DNA test results revealed a stunning, but not altogether shocking revelation – he’s actually [...]

The Donald’s Campaign Unveils New Pointed, Hooded Trump Hats

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — In the time that has passed since Donald Trump announced his candidacy for the presidential nomination of the Republican Party, there have been many memorable moments and stories that have emerged. One such story [...]
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Pope Francis Leaves Negative Review of Congress on Yelp

VATICAN CITY, THE VATICAN — Sources close to several Republicans in the House of Representatives and Senate are furious with Pope Francis, and pressure is mounting to send an official letter to the Vatican demanding an apology from the [...]

Carly Fiorina Fondly Remembers Breaking NFL Rushing Yards Record

BOCA DE LA MENTIRA, TEXAS — 2016 Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina has risen from the bottom of the polls to place just behind current front runner Donald Trump. Many attribute Ms. Fiorina’s recent climb in the polls [...]

Joe Biden Offers to Just Move His Chair Over to the Oval Office Next November

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With a scant few 430 days or so left until the 2016 presidential election, clearly if Vice President Joe Biden has got any inkling of running for his Democratic Party’s nomination, he has to make a decision soon. [...]
( AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana)

Dr. Ben Carson: A Muslim’s Brain is Different

Washington, D.C. - Speaking with Phil Hemmer via satellite on Fox News’ Happening Now, former neurosurgeon and current Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson stood firm on his position that a Muslim should never be president of [...]

Wisconsin Republicans Debate Law Forbidding Poor People From Smiling, Enjoying Life At All

MADISON, WISCONSIN — Republican state legislators in Wisconsin made headlines this week when they advanced a bill that would force all people seeking public assistance to pass a drug screening and provided they urinate a result deemed [...]
(AP Photo/Cliff Owen, File)

Sarah Palin: Libertarians Should Stick To Shelving Books And Keep Out of Politics!

WASHINGTON, DC – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin had some advice for Libertarians during a question-and-answer session at the Value Voters Summit in Washington. Called in as an ‘Alternate Speaker’ at the last-minute, Palin was allowed [...]