(AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

Sources Confirm, Hillary Clinton Will NOT be Running in 2016 Due to Health Issues

<NationalReport>A collective sigh of relief could be felt across the Republican party on Capitol Hill today as news broke that Hillary Clinton will NOT be running for President in 2016 due to health issues. According to her followers, [...]
(AP Photo/John Minchillo, File)

U.S. Looks to Trademark “Uncle Sam” for Added Revenue

I want you to….pay me for the right to use this phrase! That, if the United States government gets its way this month as it introduces legislation to trademark its famous slogan and caricature. This week, Solicitor General Donald B. Verrilli, [...]
(AP Photo/Bill Haber, File)

Sarah Palin Vows To Lift A Finger To Help Hillary Clinton’s Campaign

BILLINGS, Montana – Vowing to “lift a finger” to “help” Hillary “Emailgate” Clinton’s all-but-formally-announced presidential campaign, GOP firebrand Sarah Palin made light of her recent and accidental [...]
(AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

Vice President Joe Biden Enters Betty Ford Center, Sources Reveal

RANCHO MIRAGE, California – Vice President Joe Biden, 72, reportedly entered the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California on Feb. 26.  According to a source close to the chemical dependency recovery facility, the Vice President was [...]
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Net Neutrality Wins, Palin Blames Obama For Retarding Internet

WASHINGTON – By a 3-2 vote on Thursday, the Federal Communications Commission approved a net neutrality policy which they say will prevent government and corporate entities from controlling or limiting access to the Internet. ISPs will [...]
(Adam Hunger/AP Images for NBRPA)

Montana Considers Making Black History Month Leap Year Only Event Starting 2016

BUTTE – If the majority of Montana voters prevail, beginning in 2016, Black History Month officially will be limited to Leap Years only. A statewide ballot initiative gained steam after being introduced during 2014’s mid-term elections. [...]
(AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta, File)

Ted Cruz Hospitalized After Obama Says Drinking Bleach Is “Bad For You”

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was hospitalized Wednesday morning after drinking nearly a full liter of bleach in the White House Roosevelt Room, after President Barack Obama tried telling a group of Democrats and Republicans that bleach is not fit [...]
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

“Only A Few Months Left” Says White House Physician, As Rescue Efforts Fail

THE WHITE HOUSE – A somber announcement was issued from the Rose Garden on Tuesday, where emergency efforts were undertaken to save the life of a beloved member of the White House family – a rare Japanese cherry tree, presented as a gift [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama Considers Tax Credit Benefiting Those In Same Sex Marriage

Bradley Rockwell, a spokesperson from the Obama administration spoke with members of the press this morning in order to address the newest tax credit some will qualify for this year.  The tax credit is tentatively entitled ‘The Honeymoon’ [...]
(AP Photo/Joel Ryan)

Obama Wax Sculpture “Too White” – Guess Who Complained?

WASHINGTON – The wax figure of President Barack Obama on display at Madame Tussauds Museum looks “too white” according to a group of activists concerned with race, ethnicity, and the way African-American men are represented in [...]
(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

Rudy Giuliani Hospitalized After Suffering an America Erection Lasting Longer Than 4 Hours

NEW YORK CITY – Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani – “America’s Mayor” – was rushed to a local area hospital on Friday, diagnosed with what a hospital spokesperson called “a prolonged and painful erection.” Many snarky [...]
(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes, File)

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani Announces 2016 Presidential Bid

<National Report> Rudy Giuliani, former New York City Mayor and life-long politician said it himself; our President doesn’t love America. That is why he has decided that he will run for President in 2016; announcing his bid for [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar, File)

Millions Mourn As Rocker/Activist Ted Nugent, Age 66, Found Alive

Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, [...]
(AP Photo/Craig Ruttle)

Palin, Trump Might Run Together In 2016, Sources Confirm

When Sarah Palin asked during Sunday evening’s 40th anniversary Saturday Night Live special how much money SNL Producer Lorne Michaels would pay her if she ran with Donald Trump in 2016, most viewers assumed she was kidding around. [...]

Liberals Sue As Texas Approves $600 Voter Registration Fee

The Texas State Legislature approved this week a new law which will require all citizens registering to vote from 2016 on to pay a one-time fee of $600 in order for their voter registration to be approved. But while Republicans say the new [...]
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

House Speaker John Boehner, 65, Found Dead Inside, Sources Claim

CAPITOL HILL – House Speaker John Boehner was found to be “dead inside” according to reports leaked to members of the press from various Congressional staffers, following his narrow reelection as Speaker last January, and amid [...]