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Sarah Palin Says Training Gorillas for Gorilla Warfare Will Save Our Troops

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — After her surprise appearance at Donald Trump’s San Diego rally, where she called the presumptive GOP nominee “a golden wrecking ball,” former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin shared several of her visions for the US military [...]
(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Donald Trump to Build Wall Around 5th Avenue Headquarters

TRUMP TOWER, N.Y. — Security experts, speaking under the condition of anonymity, confirmed leaked reports that a wall will be built around Donald Trump’s 5th Avenue headquarters, in order “to keep illegal neo-liberals, crazed agitators, [...]
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Obama Drops F-Bomb During Hiroshima Visit

Tokyo, Japan – President Obama became the first sitting president to visit Japan since World War II when he visited Japanese leaders today and gave his solemn remarks regarding the horrors or war, but the conversation took a darker turn [...]
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North Carolina’s Transgender Voting Booth Law Creates Controversy

RALEIGH, N.C. — A divided crowd gathered in front of North Carolina’s State Legislative Building after passage of the state’s Transgender Voting Booth Law (House Bill 2Q), the controversial measure requiring North Carolina voters [...]
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Congress Refuses To Confirm Kelly Ripa’s Co-Host Until After Obama’s Departure

WASHINGTON — TV morning show host Kelly Ripa’s recent behind-the-scenes drama surrounding co-host Michael Strahan’s abrupt departure from ABC’s Live! With Kelly and Michael has affected business on Capitol Hill, so says a spokesperson [...]
(AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

Donald Trump Picks John Miller, His Media Spokesman, as VP

TRUMP TOWER — Media outlets revealed that longtime Trump publicist and spokesman John Miller, heard in a 1991 recording vigorously defending the real estate mogul after his first divorce, and his public breakup with second wife Marla Maples, [...]
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Perverts Flood North Carolina in Hopes of Becoming ‘Bathroom Monitors’

In what an anonymous spokesman for North Carolina Governor, Pat McCrory, terms as the ‘Eleventh Plague’, unemployed homosexuals, deviants, rapists, transgenders, and other sodomites from every state, are now flooding North Carolina [...]
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Trump Appoints Ben Carson Jive Translator to Increase Popularity with Black Voters

NEW YORK CITY — GOP Presidential Candidate Donald Trump has seemingly pulled out all the stops in appealing to a certain core of rank and file Republicans by taking advantage of Ben Carson’s popularity with African American Voters With [...]
(AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Ben Carson Gets Spray Tan Before Trump’s VEEP Announcement to “Improve His Chances”

Dr. Ben Carson, who says Donald Trump promised him a position in his administration, reportedly received a spray tan to “improve his chances with the party’s presumptive nominee” in what will undoubtedly become a crowded field of potential [...]
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North Carolina Will No Longer Accept $20 Bills

By: Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Investigative Journalist. The Obama Administration last week announced a change in the complexion of the $20 bill. The familiar portrait of Andrew Jackson, our nation’s 7th [...]
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Fundamentalist Pastor Defecates Inside Target Fitting Room

By Rick Stevenson Earlier this week, one of the nation’s largest retailers announced that it will allow transgender people to use the restroom or fitting room of their choosing, regardless of gender identity. Like many other controversial [...]
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Wrestling Star “Chyna” found dead on 4/20, From a Marijuana Overdose

By Rick Stevenson Fans of the late Joanie Laurer, better known as “Chyna,” are in shock today after learning that one of the all-time greatest pro wrestlers in history has passed away, after an overdose of THC, the active ingredient in [...]
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N.A.M.B.L.A. Comes Out Against Transgender Bathrooms

  By Rick Stevenson In the past few weeks, the controversy surrounding which restrooms can be used by people who view themselves as “transgender” or “gender neutral” has involved everyone from law makers, to entertainers, to corporate [...]
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Obama to Send Large Shipment of ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ to Texas Flood Victims

Houston, TX- Massive flooding this week left at least two dead and millions homeless as the administration scrambles to deploy thoughts and prayers to local governments in coordination with FEMA and other disaster relief agencies. “We’re [...]
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Loyal Clarence Thomas Still Waits at Window for Antonin Scalia’s Return

WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has become virtually stoic, sources say, staring at the empty bench from where the late Justice Antonin Scalia, his spiritual mentor, once ruled with the deftness of a conservative surgeon’s [...]
(AP Photo/Bill Haber, File)

Trump University Offers Sarah Palin Honorary Degree in Climate Science

Manhattan – Earlier this morning, Trump University issued degrees to 4,500 students online, and drew the attention of national media when the university announced several high-profile recipients of honorary degrees, sources say. Among [...]