09162014Headline:
Dennis Rodman leaves the United States to talk with ISIS

Dennis Rodman Leaves US To Talk With Leaders Of ISIS

Los Angeles, CA — With only a handful of reporters present on Tuesday at the Los Angeles International Airport, Dennis Rodman announced his intentions to leave the United States to speak with leaders of ISIS face to face. “I know a [...]
Rick Perry

Rick Perry’s Plan: Secede Texas From US, Avoid Jail Time

Texas Governor Rick Perry may have figured out how he’ll evade jail time over his indictment troubles, though the solution is likely to cause even more problems for the 2012 presidential candidate. His plan? Have Texas secede from the [...]
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Thrilla In Wasilla: Palin Speaks Out, Blames Obama For Bar Brawl

A flustered and agitated Sarah Palin has finally broken her silence regarding the so-called “Thrilla in Wasilla,” a bar-room brawl in Alaska where several members of her family, particularly Bristol Palin, were allegedly the agitators. [...]
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Ted Cruz Suggests “Nuking Israel” During Interview

It’s common for politicians to reverse their positions when faced with new tides in public opinion. But on Friday, Texas Senator and 2016 GOP Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz may have taken things too far — way too far — after [...]
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Obama to Visit Mosque, Host Muslim Leaders on 9/11

<National Report>White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced today that President Obama will be visiting a Washington D.C. area Mosque on the morning of September 11th as a goodwill gesture to Muslim Americans. The name and location [...]
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Koch Brothers Funding ISIS, Kenyan Newspaper Claims

A newspaper in Nairobi, Kenya claimed on Sunday that they’ve acquired evidence that wealthy American industrialists and political activists David and Charles Koch — the famed “Koch Brothers” — have been channeling [...]
free weed

California City Gives Free Medical Marijuana to Blacks

The worst kind of welfare. Weed. That’s what the Berkeley City Council in California has unanimously approved, ordering medical marijuana dispensaries to donate a percentage of their stash to patients making less than $32,000 a year and [...]
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Mitch McConnell Leading In New Poll, Despite Racist Remarks

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell now has a slight 4-point lead in a new CNN poll over Democratic challenger Alison Lundergan Grimes, despite his recent remarks in the media which some have construed as being racially insensitive. But [...]
US Congress

POLL: Congress Increasingly Dissatisfied with American Public

WASHINGTON DC — Congress elected to continue representing voters this year, but a National Report/Gallup Poll finds they remain as unhappy as they have ever been with American Citizens. Conducted in June, the results of the poll were released [...]
ObamaThumbsUp

New Poll Shows 82% Of Americans Believe Barack Obama Is A Terrorist

<National Report> Just hours after ISIS released a new video showing American journalist Steven Sotloff’s beheading, a new poll shows that 82% of American citizens believe that President Barack Obama is, in fact, a terrorist. Citizens [...]
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Obama To Resign January 1st Amid New Benghazi Revelations

According to several senior-ranking White House officials, President Barack Obama will resign from office on January 1st 2015, after learning that a so-called “Smoking Gun” story regarding the Benghazi scandal will soon be revealed. [...]
POLICE Murder Citizens

US Department of Justice Reports an Average of 36,000 Innocent Civilians Are Murdered By Police Each Year

WALDORF, MD — Nearly seven hundred times a week in the United States, a catholic police officer killed a baptist citizen during a seven-year period ending in 2012, according to the most recent accounts of justifiable homicide reported [...]
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Obama’s Weekend With David Bowie Chronicled In New Book

Pakistan wasn’t the only place Barack Obama visited in 1981. According to a new book, the future President was also in Hawaii that summer, where he spent a mysterious, and somewhat questionable, weekend with British rock legend David [...]
Same-sex siblings to marry in California

Delaware Town To Allow Same-Sex Siblings To Marry Beginning October 1st

REHOBOTH BEACH, DE – In a stunning move, Rehoboth Beach Mayor Samuel Cooper says he “won’t veto any measure that allows gay marriage, no matter how liberal”, even if the celebrants are related. “A marriage [...]
Facebook Police are Militarized

Facebook Police Force Prosecutes First Drug Bust

MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook sets new first with corporately owned police force making arrest. In it’s first official drug bust since the corporate behemoth Facebook began monitoring it’s users activity, two men were arrested [...]
ClimateChange

Climate Change Linked To Whiny Liberal Windbags

<National Report>A Koch brothers financed study of global warming and climate change has found a conclusive correlative link between rising global temperatures and an increasing amount of hot air coming out of the mouths of Liberals who [...]