Michele Bachmann: Obama Engineered Zika Virus to Fund Obamacare

STILLWATER, Minn. — In a speech delivered before a major conservative think tank, former Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann reportedly suggested that the Obama administration deliberately engineered the Zika virus, in an effort to “keep [...]

Bedwetter’s Mother Sees Image of Donald Trump in Son’s Sheets

CINCINNATI, Ohio — Like many youngsters, 6-year-old Rogelio Fuentes recently awoke to a pair of soggy pajamas and a set of wet bed sheets — a normal part of childhood development, many doctors say. But thanks to a sharp-eyed mother on [...]

China’s Economic Recovery Result of Donald Trump Merchandise Sales

BEIJING — China’s rapid economic recovery, historically bolstered by foreign loan repayments and real estate deals, far outpaced quarterly financial projections, largely due to the overwhelming demand for Chinese manufactured, Donald Trump [...]

Chipotle’s E. coli Outbreak Traced Back To Sean Penn’s Beard

DENVER, Colo. – Actor/activist Sean Penn is denying reports that his beard is the source of multiple, nationwide E. coli outbreaks affecting the Chipotle restaurant chain. Penn’s denial follows reports that he fears for his life, [...]

Mexican Immigrant Feeling Left Out After GOP’s Hate-Pivot to Muslims

LOS VERDE VALLAS, NEW MEXICO — Roberto Inmigrante has been a resident of his sleepy New Mexico town since late 2008. Inmigrante came to the United States legally, he says, making sure all of his visa applications were in order, and he [...]

Republican Confused By Lack of Xenophobia In Democratic Debate

PALABRA DE ODIO, NEW MEXICO — Clem O’Connor, 52, describes himself as a “dyed in the wool” conservative Republican. He voted for George W. Bush twice and once each for John McCain — though he says that was “mainly [...]

Sarah Palin Will Teach American English College Course

WASILLA, Alaska – The University of Phoenix has reportedly hired former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as an Assistant Professor of Language Arts. Palin will teach a new, online course called “American English,” a more informal speaking [...]

Ann Coulter: If Bush Wins, We’ll Have Another Michelle Obama to Deal With

  COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Ann Coulter, conservative firebrand and President Trump’s future Secretary of Homeland Security, is not one to shy away from voicing her opinions about America’s first ladies. Of Michelle Obama [...]

Trump: “Build a Fence Around New Mexico”

HOT SPRINGS, AR– Saying, “New Mexico. Mexico. It’s all the same. The word Mexico is in the name of both places, isn’t it?,” Republican presidential contender Donald Trump doubled down on his controversial comments about Mexico during [...]

Donald Trump Named Goodwill Ambassador to Mexico

NEW YORK CITY – Real estate mogul Donald Trump has secured a post as the United Nations Goodwill Ambassador to Mexico, on the heels of calling Mexican citizens drug dealers and rapists during his presidential candidacy announcement. The [...]

Mayonnaise Brand Pulls ‘Sinko-de-Mayo’ Ads After Protests From Mexican Groups

LOS ANGELES, Cal. – Deli-icious Brand Mayonnaise had a bit of egg on its face after airing a series of Cinco de Mayo-themed commercial spots deemed culturally insensitive by members of the Mexican community, and labeled “unfortunate” [...]

Why You Shouldn’t Think Donald Trump Is A Racist

NEW YORK – No matter how hard he tries, businessman, television personality, and real estate mogul Donald Trump can’t escape the unfounded accusations that brand him a racist. It all began in 2012 during the height of the Birther movement [...]

Obama Declares ‘English Only’ Bills Unconstitutional in Arizona, Florida & Texas

WASHINGTON DC – In a sweeping new round of executive orders, President Obama is set to declare unconstitutional so-called ‘English Only’ bills headed to Congress from Arizona, Florida, and Texas, according to congressional sources. [...]

Palin: White House Infiltrator “Natural Mexican Fence-Jumper”

While speaking Saturday at a conservative women’s brunch in Anchorage, former Alaska Governor and 2008 Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin made a string of comments that many are calling racially insensitive regarding Omar Gonzalez, [...]