05042016Headline:
Trump Pray Tan

Mississippi Church Offering ‘Pray Tans’ in Honor of Trump Visit

JACKSON, MS – Controversial Pastor Hugh Jardon of Jackson First Baptist Church is offering ‘pray tans’ to his congregation in honor of GOP front runner Donald Trump’s visit to Jackson, Mississippi, and is hoping the publicity stunt [...]
Nano is Norway's Crazy Cat Lady (Photo: YouTube screenshot)

Crazed Norwegian Cat Lady Has Lived Entire Life as a Cat

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The following is an editorial piece from the Editor-in-Chief Three weeks ago Norwegian media company NRK, posted on YouTube their 3:35 interview with a 20 year-old Norwegian woman named Nano. In as [...]
3

Black Sabbath: Madmen Lead Metal Assault on Youth

A Parental Music Warning – by: Cassidy Pen   The streets of Chicago during late January are busy and darkened by the shortened daylight. Catatonic sorrow hovers over the cold bundled citizens as they bustle and crowd through the [...]
GOD_FIRES_HUCK

God Fires Mike Huckabee

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — At a press conference from Heaven earlier this week, Larry “God” Schumway, Founde and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc., has fired former Arkansas Governor from the company God founded approximately an Infinity [...]
(AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley)

Kim Davis Signs with Christian Book Publisher: ‘I’m a Survivor’ to be Released in Time for Christmas

New York City, New York – Sources are saying that Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who made headlines for refusing same-sex couples marriage licenses, has signed a seven figure book deal with Forever Faith publishing and her memoir I’m [...]
(AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley, File)

ISIS Leaders Praise Kim Davis – First Female to Win ISIS Courage Award

AL-Raqqah, Syria– Kim Davis has garnered support across the country for refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples based on her religious belief that homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God. Conservative Christians [...]
Courtesy: Aaron Logan [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

God Smites Burning Man 2015 With Swarms of Biting Bugs at Black Rock City

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief <National Report> Burners recently celebrated the good news that the BLM at the last minute approved the permits required for the annual Burning Man event to occur at Black Rock City. But out of [...]
courtesy: Adinda Navartierre flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/ladyblackqueen/6017388920/?ytcheck=1 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Dangerous New “Tweezer Twerk” Phad on The Phish Tour

…Part of TNR’s Continuing Coverage of The Phish 2015 Summer Tour By: Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen, TNReport Investigative Journalist From East Troy, WI to Bend, OR and down to the Los Angeles area, teenagers have [...]
(AP Photo/Patric Schneider)

God Smites Arian Foster for Atheist Views

HOUSTON, TX – In an interview with ESPN’s Tim Keown, running back Arian Foster announced that he didn’t believe in God and was smited three days later with a season ending groin injury. “I told him not to talk that way about the [...]
(Photo By Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

WI Gov. Scott Walker Challenges Supreme Court Justices to Fist Fight

Madison, WI – In a historic victory for the gay rights movement, the United States Supreme Court ruled by a 5-4 vote on Friday that the constitution guarantees the right to same-sex marriage. This SCOTUS decision comes on the heels of another [...]
Cassidy Pen-NR

Texas Tea Party Warns of Purge

Another Edition of Cassidy’s Combat Culture Column Friends and God-fearing lovers of the constitution, it is my duty as a follower of God and patriotic veteran to the red, white, and blue to report troubling news in my weekly “C-cubed” [...]
(Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)

Mike Huckabee: Wait to Join Kiss Army Until Obama Leaves Office

Detroit Rock City, USA – Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) suggested Friday that young Americans planning to join the Kiss Army should wait until President Barack Obama leaves office because his administration has an “open hostility [...]
William-Adolphe Bouguereau [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

God No Longer Protects Block Around Chicago’s Steamworks Bathhouse

Residents Advised to Flee, Do Not Look Back CHICAGO, IL – When America became the Lord’s chosen nation with the ordination of the constitution in 1788, Midwestern Values grew to become the epitome of the biblical presence in His [...]
Angus_Young_Tacoma - Copy

Putting the Finger on AC/DC: Parental Music Warning

By Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen TNREPORT, Calif.-The Greek Philosopher Pythagoras, who first postulated the concept of melody, would have barfed up his fava beans had he heard the opening chords of “You Shook Me All [...]
Mark Zuckerberg, Founded Facebook

Facebook To Ban Religious Posts, Memes After Criticism From Atheism Groups

In a closed-door session with shareholders on Tuesday, Facebook executives wheeled out a set of new rules which, when implemented later this year, will ban their users from creating status updates and image posts related in any way to religion, [...]
AAA racists

11 Accusers in Cosby Rape Scandal Linked to White Power Hate Group

Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief <National Report> As if the shameful media lynching of a black man in America could get any more bizarre, the National Report learned late yesterday that 11 of the Cosby accusers have links to the [...]