Photo credit: STUART PRICE/AFP/Getty Images)

Joseph Kony Gunned Down by Seal Team 6, Obama Takes Credit

<National Report>According to sources at the Pentagon, Joseph Kony, the former leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), has been gunned down in a remote area of the South Sudan by members of Seal Team 6.  The LRM is a guerrilla [...]
(AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)

Embarrassing Kim Jong Un Documents Leaked By American Hackers In Retaliatory Strike

Wednesday evening, over 1,100 documents were leaked on the Internet by a North American hacker group, revealing a lengthy list of North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un’s most embarrassing secrets, including medical records that detail his [...]
Newly discovered German document purportedly details original 'Heimlich maneuver' procedure, devised by Auschwitz concentration camp officer and physician Josef Mengele.

Did You Know: Heimlich Maneuver Was Invented by Nazis?

NUREMBERG, Germany – A German archivist’s discovery of a 1941 Nazi war document reportedly reveals the sinister origin of today’s life-saving ‘Heimlich maneuver.’ Franz Hoetszel, 38, discovered the 1941 file while [...]
Michelle Obama official portrait (image-Joyce N. Boghosian Executive Office of the President, Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons)

Obama White House Kwanzaa Burdens Taxpayers, Creates Controversy

<National Report>The week-long celebration of Kwanzaa, the African-American alternative to Christmas, has thrown the White House staff into an uproar. Extra work required for the extended observance translates into more tax dollars spent [...]

Kim Jong Un Starring In North Korean Movie About Assassinating US President, Sources Claim

It appears North Korea’s apparent recent hacking of Sony Pictures wasn’t the last of the country’s retaliatory efforts regarding their outrage over the upcoming Seth Rogen and James Franco movie “The Interview.” [...]
Starting October 2015, good bye US currency, hello euro. (image: Wizzard - Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons)

Obama Orders Fed To Adopt Euro Currency

(WASHINGTON, DC) – In the boldest takeover of Presidential authority in history, Barack Obama ordered the Federal Reserve to adopt the euro beginning October 1, 2015, the start of the next fiscal year. The US will soon share the single [...]
Michelle Obama official portrait (image-Joyce N. Boghosian Executive Office of the President, Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons)

FOUND: Michelle Obama’s Excessive Travel & Accommodation Demand List

<National Report>Diva Jennifer Lopez once asked for – and received – white flowers, white furniture, white curtains, and Cuban food for an AIDS charity event appearance. That used to be a low water mark of pampered celebrity absurdity, [...]
Comet Siding Spring (image- Comet Siding Spring - NASA:JPL-Caltech:UCLA - Wikimedia Commons - Public Domain)

Ted Cruz Blames Obama For Rosetta UK Space Mission

WASHINGTON, DC – Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) along with officials at NASA headquarters expressed muted praise for the UK’s historic Rosetta space mission success. “Obama said an achievement like this would be our victory, but once [...]

Pope Francis Decrees Abortion Allowable in Certain Cases

<National Report>In a startling reversal of established Catholic doctrine Pope Francis, the ofttimes revolutionary new head of the papacy in Rome, has decreed that abortion, in certain circumstances, is allowable. The Pope made public [...]
(source: Kremlin.ru [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Putin To Close Russia’s Borders On October 31st Amid Ebola Concerns

<National Report>Russian President Vladimir Putin reportedly has made the decision to lock down his country’s borders to keep out the dreaded Ebola virus. The closing of borders affects land crossing, all airports and all of Russia’s [...]
Kim Jong-un

North Korea Pays Ransom To ISIS; Kim Jong-Un Returned With Minor Injuries

<National Report>In a shocking turn of events, it appears the North Korean government has acquiesced to demands from radical Islamist terrorist group, ISIS. As we reported here on National Report last week, Kim Jong-Un was believed by [...]

Kim Jong Un Makes S. Korea Threat Over “ArcheAge” Video Game

North Korea’s half-crazy Dictator is at it again. On Thursday, Kim Jong Un made another of his brazen military threats, warning that his air force would “rain death” on South Korea if his most recent demands aren’t met [...]

Kim Jong-Un Forcibly Shortening North Korean Penises

Supreme Leader Cracking Down on those more “Extensively Endowed.” PYONGYANG North Korea – Kim Jong-Un, the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, has reportedly issued a bizarre edict effecting over [...]

Obama Donates 20 Million Dollars In Aid To Israel

Despite being mired in a touchy situation with our increasingly fragile US economy, Obama has made the choice to donate a hefty 20 million dollars to Israel. Israeli leaders have openly expressed gratitude after being granted the funds, which [...]

Hamas Militants Destroy Church Of Holy Sepulchre In Retaliation For Recent Attacks

// // // ]]> <National Report>After a bloody week of clashes that has left several hundred Palestinians dead, Hamas has exacted revenge by leveling the revered Church of The Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem. Several hundred Hamas extremists [...]
(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa, File)

Israel Begins Construction Of Concentration Camps Outside Gaza

<National Report>The Israeli government has begun the construction of several strategically placed concentration camps outside of the Gaza Strip. Reports indicate that in the weeks leading up to the Israeli offensive in Gaza a closed-door [...]