Suspension Notice

School Suspends Student for Dressing as Jesus on Halloween

<NORTH AURORA, Illinois> Every year, I looked forward to the “Peanuts” cartoon classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. The saddest part for me was Charlie Brown getting a rock in his goodie bag while all the other [...]
gun and bible

Georgia Pastor Declares Handguns Religious Article: Inspired by WA State Sikh Kirpan Ruling

<National Report>Pastor Bob Wellis is respected and admired by the members of his small Southern Baptist congregation in rural Butler, GA. No matter what the problem, he always comes up with a creative and thoughtful solution. Inspiration [...]
Obama makes November is National Muslim Appreciation Month

Obama Declares November National Muslim Appreciation Month

Washington, DC — President Barack Obama held a press conference to announce that he is declaring the month of November ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’. “The Muslim community deserves our full acceptance and respect,” [...]
Ice bucket challenge created by the Vatican and the Catholic Church

Vatican Takes Credit For Ice Bucket Challenge; Goal Was To Baptize All Non-Believers

Vatican City, 19 September, 2014 (VIS) — In a shocking announcement made today from the Vatican, the Catholic Church, sharing an update after its recent meeting of the Council of Cardinals, is claiming responsibility for the much-renowned, [...]
Old hippies flock to Christian churches in the U.S. to pray for forgiveness & salvation

Elderly Americans Are Turning to God in Record Numbers Not Seen Since 1967

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief <National Report> Not since 1967 when American anarchists turned against God and country so they could have their “rights” to smoke their refer and tongue-worship at the bunghole of [...]

Westboro Baptists to Picket Louisiana TV Station

TOPEKA, KS – The Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), famous for controversial protests and extreme rhetoric, has announced plans to picket DeQuincy, LA Television Station DQLA6. The church will include the television station as part of a [...]
Satire tags on Fox News stories on Facebook

‘Satire’ Tags Appear Next To Fox News Articles On Facebook; Lawsuit Announced

Menlo Park, CA — What some are calling a “harmless prank” is being taken very seriously by the Fox News Channel. On Sunday, the links on Facebook which display related articles by Fox News were showing ‘satire’ tags [...]
Same-sex siblings to marry in California

Delaware Town To Allow Same-Sex Siblings To Marry Beginning October 1st

REHOBOTH BEACH, DE – In a stunning move, Rehoboth Beach Mayor Samuel Cooper says he “won’t veto any measure that allows gay marriage, no matter how liberal”, even if the celebrants are related. “A marriage [...]
Paul Church in Huntsville, Alabama

Alabama Church Takes Bible Literally; Stones Woman To Death for Working on Sunday

Huntsville, AL — A 31-year-old pregnant woman, wife and mother of three, was brutally murdered after she was seen working on Sunday, or the Sabbath, by a fellow member of the church. Brandy Hull, a devoted member of ‘Paul Church’, [...]
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin speaking to students

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The [...]
Courtesy Randall Smith

Mormon Girl Auctions Off Virginity For Church Repairs; Church Then Bans Her For Life

St. George, Utah — When the St. George Temple asked its parishioners for donations to help fix a leaking roof, some of their followers dug deeper than others. 21-year-old unemployed college student, Sariah Snow, had been attending the Temple [...]

Pope Reportedly Claims 75% Of All Catholic Priests Are Pederasts; Vatican Recoils

This Sunday Pope Francis was quoted by the Italian newspaper, La Repubblica, claiming that a staggering seventy-five percent of Roman Catholic priests are pedophiles. The Vatican scrambled hastily to rebuke these statements, insisting that [...]

Pope Francis “Vulgar” During World Cup Games, Staffers Claim

Imagine a man wearing an Argentina jersey and sweat pants, watching his favorite team during the World Cup. He’s eating junk food, and yelling curse words at the television while bits of potato chips fly from his mouth. And during Argentina’s [...]
The government is helping women get abortions.

Excommunicated Catholic Postal Worker Helped Thousands of Women Get Abortions

<National Report>A United States postal worker has been excommunicated from the Catholic Church for assisting thousands of women with obtaining abortions throughout the state of Alabama. Dale Abney, 65, was a life-long, active member [...]

Obama to Visit Mosque, Host Muslim Leaders on July 4th

<National Report>White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced today that President Obama will be visiting a Washington D.C. area Mosque on the morning of July 4th as a goodwill gesture to Muslim Americans.  The name and location [...]

Hobby Lobby Will No Longer Employ Un-Wed Mothers And Women Who Have Sex Out Of Wedlock

Hobby Lobby CEO, Franklin Harding, announced on Monday that Hobby Lobby would be doing a complete overhaul of their hiring process now that they have the ability to adhere to Biblical standards. “We can operate at a standard which honors [...]