Bernie Sanders

Pope Francis Endorses Bernie Sanders for President

Vatican City – In a final speech to the synod, Pope Francis endorsed Senator Bernie Sanders for President of the United States, while taking some clear swipes at conservatives who hold up church doctrine above all else, and use it to cast [...]
(Image: Screenshot, YouTube)

Pope Francis: New York Pizza Rat Symbolizes Jesus’ Burden

EAST HARLEM, N.Y. – By now it seems everyone has seen ‘Pizza Rat’, the doggedly determined rodent captured on video transporting a discarded slice of pizza, step-by-step, down the stairs of a New York City subway station. Conan [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Sarah Palin Objects to Junípero Serra’s Canonization: ‘Cannonball May Injure Somebody’

WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin objected to the canonization of 18th-century Franciscan friar Junípero Serra, because “the cannonball may injure somebody” during the canonization rite, which she believes involves “shooting [...]
(AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley, File)

ISIS Leaders Praise Kim Davis – First Female to Win ISIS Courage Award

AL-Raqqah, Syria– Kim Davis has garnered support across the country for refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples based on her religious belief that homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God. Conservative Christians [...]
(AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley)

Kim Davis Guilty of Bigamy, Says Kentucky Bylaw

ROWAN COUNTY, Ky. – Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who served a 6-day sentence for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, is guilty of bigamy, according to a state bylaw issued by Isaac Shelby, the first elected Governor [...]
Pope Francis

Cynthia Francis, Wife of Pope Francis, Seeks Annulment To 38-Year Marriage

FLORES, Argentina – Cynthia Agustina Francis, wife of Pope Francis, has sought official annulment of her 38-year marriage, citing “estrangement after prolonged separation”, according to court papers filed in Buenos Aires. The move comes [...]
(AP Photo/Cliff Owen, File)

Sarah Palin Will Teach American English College Course

WASILLA, Alaska – The University of Phoenix has reportedly hired former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as an Assistant Professor of Language Arts. Palin will teach a new, online course called “American English,” a more informal speaking [...]
(AP Photo/Gary C. Knapp)

Televangelist Pat Robertson, 85, Found Unresponsive at Virginia Beach Studio

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. – Televangelist Pat Robertson, 85, was found unresponsive yesterday at the Virginia Beach headquarters of the Christian Broadcasting Network, the media empire he founded more than a half-century ago. The media mogul was [...]

Cecil The Lion ‘Truther’ Denies Lion’s Existence, ‘Seeks Hide’

There’s a new “truther” movement out there, and it doesn’t involve jet fuel, steel beams, or Kenyan birth certificates. It does however, center around a global event gripping the hearts and minds of millions – the [...]
(AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

Pope Francis Removes Confederate Flag From Vatican

VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis, joining the growing movement sweeping throughout the United States calling for the elimination of Confederate flags and symbols, has ordered the removal of the Confederate flag from all “chapels, museums, [...]
(AP Photo/David Goldman)

Charleston Church Shooting: 7 Souls to Heaven, 2 to Purgatory

CHARLESTON, S.C. – Of the nine people viciously slaughtered at the historic black church Wednesday night, seven of the souls have an automatic pass to the Kingdom of Heaven while unfortunately, two will have to await judgement. “Sorry [...]
(AP Photo/Rick Bowmer, File)

Mormon Church Announces Final Revelation: There Is No God

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – In a surprise turn of events the Quorum of Twelve, the secret leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has ruled that the Supreme Being has finally revealed to them that he doesn’t exist. “There [...]
(AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Pope Francis To Followers: “Koran And Holy Bible Are The Same”

On Monday the Bishop Of Rome addressed Catholic followers regarding the dire importance of exhibiting religious tolerance. During his hour-long speech, a smiling Pope Francis was quoted telling the Vatican’s guests that the Koran, and [...]
(AP Photo/Danny Johnston)

Mike Huckabee Vows to ‘Wage War’ on Religion If Elected

  HOPE, Ark. – Former governor Mike Huckabee told supporters in his home state of Arkansas yesterday that his first order of business as President of the United States will be to sign an executive order making conversion [...]
(Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)

Minister Creflo Dollar Now Wants $114MM For Luxury Yacht

COLLEGE PARK, Ga. – Millionaire televangelist and megachurch founder Creflo Dollar, Jr., forced in March to cancel a $65 million donation campaign set up to finance a G350 Gulfstream jet, is now reportedly asking friends to donate more [...]
(AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Pope Francis Calls For Equal Pay For Nuns

VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis stunned a crowd of the faithful gathered in St. Peter’s Square on Wednesday, after calling for equal pay for nuns, as he condemned the worldwide salary gap that exists between men and women. “Why is it [...]