08012014Headline:
Courtesy Randall Smith

Mormon Girl Auctions Off Virginity For Church Repairs; Church Then Bans Her For Life

St. George, Utah — When the St. George Temple asked its parishioners for donations to help fix a leaking roof, some of their followers dug deeper than others. 21-year-old unemployed college student, Sariah Snow, had been attending the Temple [...]
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Pope Reportedly Claims 75% Of All Catholic Priests Are Pederasts; Vatican Recoils

This Sunday Pope Francis was quoted by the Italian newspaper, La Repubblica, claiming that a staggering seventy-five percent of Roman Catholic priests are pedophiles. The Vatican scrambled hastily to rebuke these statements, insisting that [...]
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Pope Francis “Vulgar” During World Cup Games, Staffers Claim

Imagine a man wearing an Argentina jersey and sweat pants, watching his favorite team during the World Cup. He’s eating junk food, and yelling curse words at the television while bits of potato chips fly from his mouth. And during Argentina’s [...]
The government is helping women get abortions.

Excommunicated Catholic Postal Worker Helped Thousands of Women Get Abortions

<National Report>A United States postal worker has been excommunicated from the Catholic Church for assisting thousands of women with obtaining abortions throughout the state of Alabama. Dale Abney, 65, was a life-long, active member [...]
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Obama to Visit Mosque, Host Muslim Leaders on July 4th

<National Report>White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced today that President Obama will be visiting a Washington D.C. area Mosque on the morning of July 4th as a goodwill gesture to Muslim Americans.  The name and location [...]
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Hobby Lobby Will No Longer Employ Un-Wed Mothers And Women Who Have Sex Out Of Wedlock

Hobby Lobby CEO, Franklin Harding, announced on Monday that Hobby Lobby would be doing a complete overhaul of their hiring process now that they have the ability to adhere to Biblical standards. “We can operate at a standard which honors [...]
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin speaking to students

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says [...]
Obama August Muslim Awareness month

Obama Proclaims August International Muslim Awareness Month

Washington, DC — In a proclamation issued today, President Obama has designated August as ‘International Muslim Awareness Month’. “The Muslim community around the world deserves our full acceptance, respect, apologies and [...]
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Geneticists Prove Existence Of God

<National Report> A team of geneticists from W.I.T., while working on decoding sequences of “Junk DNA” with the cooperation of The Human Genome Project, have made what may be the most significant human discovery to date; the [...]
Bank Note with the words In God We Trust at the top

Obama To Remove “In God We Trust” From All Currency Beginning August 1st

Washington, DC — Beginning August 1st the Federal Reserve along with the United States Department of the Treasury will begin printing all currency, which includes every note and coin, without the words ‘In God We Trust‘. This [...]
India rape festival

The Assam Rape Festival In India Begins This Week

Assam, INDIA — Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam Rape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get raped. Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual [...]
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Utah Man Found Not Guilty in Killing Wife Over Too Many Facebook Game Requests

Madhya Pradesh, India — An Indian man, who was living in St. George, Utah just ten years ago as a Mormon, was found not guilty Friday by a Tribunal of his elders for the gruesome murder of his wife of 19-years. The man, 34-year-old Jared [...]
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Pope Francis Goes Public With Support Of RFID Chip Implantation

<National Report>In a controversial move by the Catholic church, Pope Francis has come out in vocal support of RFID Chip technologies and the extraordinary potential they hold for mankind. The outrage stems from a belief held by many Evangelicals, [...]
GlobalWarmingHoax

Texas Church Organizing Rally Against Climate Science

<National ReportPolling data shows that one in four Americans believe that climate change is a hoax, and Baptist Minister George Davis is definitely one of them.  And with help from his congregation of 213 climate change deniers, he hopes [...]
Obama is a gay Muslim

Secret Service Agent Says Obama Is Gay & Muslim

A former Secret Service agent whose new book is quickly climbing Amazon’s best-seller charts, said he is concerned about the state of the country and says it is time the public knows the real truth about our Commander in Chief, Barack Obama. Former [...]
StJosephChurch

Georgia Church to Give Out Guns on Mother’s Day, Liberals Outraged

<National Report>Dothan, GA–Looking for the perfect Mother’s Day gift?  Have you exhausted the flowers, gift baskets and candies?  How about a gift certificate for a day spa, or dinner at her favorite restaurant?  How about [...]