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Millions of Thanksgiving Turkeys Recalled: Is Your Family Safe?

<National Report> The CDC has confirmed that millions of turkeys have been recalled due to safety concerns over an avian virus that the birds may be harboring. The virus is related to human influenza virus but was thought to lack the [...]

How To: Homemade Ebola Hazmat Suits On A Budget

Due to growing concerns over the inevitable Ebola pandemic that is currently spreading throughout the US, many Americans are taking proactive measures to assure their safety. Recently, a woman was pictured wearing her own homemade hazmat suit [...]

Kale Smoking Now A Thing, ‘Kaling’ Fad Catches Fire

LOS ANGELES, CA – Ordering a kale smoothie? Spritzing some vinaigrette on those curly miracle leaves? Just discovering the green, leafy vegetable that Southerners have been eating since Jefferson Davis was a boy? Well guess what? You’re [...]

Ebola Infected Passenger Explodes Mid-Flight Potentially Infecting Dozens

The passengers leaving the LIR airport on flight 251 heading towards San Jose were unaware that they were about to endure a horrific ordeal. Upon boarding their flight, the other passengers noticed a woman who appeared to be very ill. Despite [...]

As Many As 3 Million NYC Residents Exposed to Fearbola

<National Report>When news broke last week that New York Ebola doctor Craig Spencer potentially exposed up to 10,000 city residents to the deadly virus, locals generally reacted with a mixture of jaded concern and measured unease. On the [...]

President Obama Assures Nation That Obamacare Will Cover Inevitable Ebola Pandemic

While health officials in Dallas scramble to contain a virus that could wipe out most of the US population, and insurance specialists such as, Andrea Martin, blast the POTUS’ Affordable Health Care Act for not covering Ebola, President [...]

Infectious Disease Expert Says One-In-Five Americans Will Contract The Ebola Virus By 2016

Dr. Andrew Davenport has been studying infectious diseases for the past 20 years; 7 of which Davenport focused solely on learning about the intricate nature of multitude human-specific Ebola strands. After witnessing the Ebola virus ravage [...]
Texas Ebola Outbreak

17 Texas Kindergarteners Contract Ebola After Exposure To Liberian Foreign Exchange Student

BREAKING NEWS – The unused wing of a retirement community in Wortham, Texas was transformed into a makeshift Ebola ward early this morning after 17 kindergarten students fell violently ill and tested positive for the Ebola virus. It is [...]

CDC Whistleblower Exposes Ebola Vaccinations Containing RFID Chips

A CDC whistleblower has recently gone on record to expose nefarious government plans which would use the impending US Ebola pandemic as an opportunity to implant RFID technology in American citizens. Brent Hopskins was a CDC contractor before [...]

Purdon Texas Ebola Quarantine Update

Jane M. Agni is currently on location in Navarro Mills lake, nine miles from the quarantined area of Purdon, TX. A combined effort between local law enforcement and the CDC has successfully secured the quiet town of Purdon, Texas and its understandably [...]
The Ebola Virus

Why You Will Die From The Ebola Virus

As news of the Ebola virus spreads in the media, more and more citizens have become worried about contracting the disease. “It’s only a matter of time before the Ebola virus kills you,” says the media. “If you aren’t [...]

Feds Issue Travel Advisory for Texas Following Ebola Spread

<National Report>The U.S. Department of State has issued a travel advisory for US citizens considering travel to and from Texas.  The advisory was posted early this morning following multiple reports of a Texas town that has been [...]

Texas Town Quarantined After Family Of Five Test Positive For The Ebola Virus

The small town of Purdon, Texas has been quarantined after a family of five tested positive for the Ebola virus. Purdon is located just 70 miles from Dallas, Texas, and the hospital that has cared for both American Ebola patients, Thomas Eric [...]
The McRib. // (source: By Evan-Amos (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

World Health Organization Convinces McDonald’s To Discontinue ‘McRib’ Sandwich

<National Report>The World Health Organization’s ‘Commission on Ending Childhood Obesity’ claimed a major victory this week. Health officials working on behalf of the commission concluded negotiations with McDonald’s [...]
Ebola virus

Obamacare Will Not Cover Ebola Treatment

<National Report>Now that the first case of Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever has been confirmed in the United States, insurance industry experts have discovered that the Affordable Care Act will not cover the treatment of the deadly disease. There [...]
President Obama raising the minimum drinking age to 24

Obama Raising The Minimum Drinking Age To 24 In October

Washington, DC — In a press conference at the White House today, President Barack Obama announced his controversial decision to raise the minimum drinking age from 21 to 24 years of age. “We must work harder to protect the young people [...]