Do You Have An Above Average IQ? Five Signs You Might Be Smarter Than You Think You Are!

Positive Attitude Einstein shed not one single solitary tear of sadness during his long and storied life. Tesla could frequently be seen whistling happily as he concocted scientific wonders in his expansive lab. Bobby Fisher, the chess champion [...]
REUTERS/Steve Marcus

Mysterious Outbreak of STD’s at Bundy Compound – County Officials Alarmed!

<National Report>In what was supposed to be a sensitive and closely guarded secret report, details have leaked from the Clark County Medical Services Department stating that there has been an alarming outbreak of “STD’s”, [...]
Toilet Spider at 400

Killer Aussie Huntsman Spider to Infest Gulf of Mexico by End of 2015 (VIDEO)

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief Most giant Huntsman spiders are not dangerous. Though harmless if you’ve never seen one before their size can stop you dead in your tracks. The non-venomous Huntsman for years have lived in the [...]

Washington’s Recreational Marijuana Legalization Leads To Several Reported Deaths

<National Report> (Bellingham, Washington) – Emergency rooms in Washington are overflowing with patients suffering from acute marijuana toxicity AKA (Marijuana Overdose), after recreational cannabis was legalized during the weekend. [...]
Who wants to sit next to some disgusting porker who stinks for an entire flight?

Morbid Obesity May Soon be the Battlefield of the Civil Rights Movement

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief Obesity is often cited as causing a national health crisis, with 35.7 percent of U.S. adults fitting into a category associated with elevated risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and certain [...]

Crisis at the Border: CDC Investigates Mystery Illness Spreading Through Border Towns

<National Report>Concerns about the large number of undocumented women with children, as well as unaccompanied undocumented children, being housed in military bases and border towns along the U.S./Mexico border have been growing in recent [...]

Autism Conclusively Linked To Agricultural Pesticides

<National Report> A major multidisciplinary paper is scheduled to be released late next month that conclusively links the increasing autism epidemic to the consumption of organic foods. Following a meta study conducted at the University [...]
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin speaking to students

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says [...]

Progressive Veterinary Clinic Performs First-Ever Pet Sex Change Operation

<National Report> (Long Beach, California) – When Charlene Walker adopted her pug, Jazzy, from a local pug rescue, she was elated to be bringing home the newest addition to her family. However, almost immediately after they arrived [...]

Study Finds 1 in 3 Americans Have Been Implanted With RFID Chips: Most Unaware

<National Report> Scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology (WIT) have determined that a shocking 1 in 3 Americans has been implanted with an RFID microchip.  In an article published this week, they detail a study of nearly 3000 [...]
Obama announces Colorado Pot Shops to be polling stations in 2016 presidential ellection

Obama To Make Colorado Pot Shops Polling Places For 2016 Presidential Election

Washington, DC — At a press conference this morning President Barack Obama announced his controversial decision to make marijuana dispensaries in Colorado official polling stations for the 2016 presidential election. “This is a great [...]
pot lab

Marijuana Cures, Vaccinates Hepatitis C, Research Shows

<National Report>Medical researchers announced a startling discovery on Sunday, revealing that a certain “strain” of marijuana, or cannabis, not only cures patients of hepatitis C, but can also vaccinate people from hepatitis [...]
The Horner family Obamacare bankruptcy homeless

Obamacare Bankrupts Minnesota Family; Now Homeless

Apple Valley, MN — A Minnesota family has been forced to file bankruptcy and sell their Apple Valley home after their insurance premiums through Obamacare skyrocketed from $405/mo to over $3,500/mo. The Horner family, who are lifelong Democrats [...]
cure for the gay

Spain Calls New Russian Vaccine Preventing Homosexuality Convincing

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor in Chief <National Report> BARCELONA – Today scientists in Spain confirmed claims made by Russian scientists almost three weeks ago that they had discovered the cure for homosexuality. The story [...]

Iowa Parents Soon To Be Required To Pass “Parental Fitness” Test Before Bearing Children Or Face Mandatory Pregnancy Termination

<National Report> (Cedar Rapids, Iowa) – In an effort to curb overpopulation, Iowa has began to push for legislation which will thwart expectant parents from bearing children unless they are able to prove they are capable of providing [...]

Is Lack Of Personal Hygiene Responsible For Portland, OR’s Contaminated Drinking Water?

<National Report>(Portland, Oregon) – The City of Roses has issued a water boil alert after three consecutive drinking water samples were found to contain heavy traces of E.Coli and other bacteria. On Thursday the Portland Water [...]