03282017Headline:

Trump Reports World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing with Japanese Prime Minister

President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe hit the links at the world famous Trump National Jupiter Golf Club & Spa on Saturday with hopes of forging a diplomatic bond but ended up with much more. While no press was [...]

Atlanta Falcons Win Popular Vote, Still Lose Super Bowl LI

<Houston, TX> The results of Super Bowl LI are in, and the winner is the New England Patriots. After pulling out to an early 28-3 lead, Atlanta allowed the Patriots to reel off 25 consecutive points to tie the game and secure an overtime [...]

Woman Comes Forward With Shocking Allegation: “I Was Not Raped By Bill Cosby”

<National Report>In a shocking turn of events, area woman Joyce Taylor has broken her silence and proclaimed, “I was not raped by Bill Cosby.”  This news came on the day that two more defendants joined in the growing defamation [...]

Massive Herpes Outbreak Reported at Coachella

<National Report>  Multiple sources have confirmed a massive outbreak of herpes reported at Coachella.  The multi-day “music” festival held in Indio, California kicked off today as hundreds of thousands of priveleged Southern [...]