12162018Headline:

Trump White House Prepares Pardons for Two Jive-Ass Turkeys

<Washington, DC>In keeping with longstanding tradition, the White House is said to be preparing pardons for two jive-ass turkeys, according to high ranking officials with no knowledge of the decision.  The turkeys, “Eric” [...]

Alex Jones Suggests Flying False Flag at Half-Staff for Shooting Victims

<Austin, TX>Renowned radio show host and fake news creator Alex Jones has reportedly asked his audience to fly the false flag at half-staff in honor of today’s shooting victims.  While details of the shooter have not been released, [...]

Christopher Plummer to Play Role of Roy Moore in Alabama Senate Race

(Montgomery, AL) – With just weeks before the Alabama Senate special election between Republican Roy Moore and his Democratic challenger Doug Jones, news broke this afternoon suggesting sexual indiscretions dating back decades between [...]

US Soccer Team Announces Boycott of 2018 World Cup Held in Russia

<National Report>While Donald Trump has spent the last few weeks picking fights with the dark skinned players in the NFL, the US Men’s Soccer team has made the strongest statement yet in professional sports against the President’s [...]

Actress Comes Forward With Shocking Allegation: “I Was Not Sexually Assaulted By Harvey Weinstein”

<National Report>In a shocking turn of events, actress Joyce Taylor has broken her silence and proclaimed, “I was not sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein.”  This news comes on the heals of multiple allegations published [...]

Trump Reports World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing with Japanese Prime Minister

President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe hit the links at the world famous Trump National Jupiter Golf Club & Spa on Saturday with hopes of forging a diplomatic bond but ended up with much more. While no press was [...]