02252017Headline:

Trump Reports World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing with Japanese Prime Minister

President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe hit the links at the world famous Trump National Jupiter Golf Club & Spa on Saturday with hopes of forging a diplomatic bond but ended up with much more. While no press was [...]

Atlanta Falcons Win Popular Vote, Still Lose Super Bowl LI

<Houston, TX> The results of Super Bowl LI are in, and the winner is the New England Patriots. After pulling out to an early 28-3 lead, Atlanta allowed the Patriots to reel off 25 consecutive points to tie the game and secure an overtime [...]

Pence Declares Debate Rigged Hours Before Debate Starts

<Farmville, Va.>More than an hour before the vice presidential debate had even begun, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R) has declared the debate to be rigged. A press release put out by the RNC before the debate supported the claim by Pence [...]

Presidential Debate Could Turn Deadly

Hempstead, NY – The nation’s emergency rooms have been put on the highest alert level – Code Red – for Monday night’s primetime Presidential primary debate. “We are anticipating record levels of alcohol poisoning Monday night [...]

Republican Debate Could Turn Deadly

Cleveland, OH – The nation’s emergency rooms have been put on the highest alert level – Code GOP Red – for Thursday night’s primetime Republican primary debate on the Fox News Channel. “We are anticipating record levels of alcohol [...]

Aaron Hernandez Suspended Three Games Following Murder Conviction

The NFL has weighed in on the fate of Aaron Hernandez. NFL Media Insider Jeremy Jones reported late Friday evening that the New England Patriots tight end will be suspended for the first three games of the regular season and will be fined $10,000 under [...]

Fox News’ Steve Doocy on the Run Following Possible “Dine and Dash”

According to sources, Fox News anchor Steve Doocy is on the run following a potential “Dine and Dash” incident that took place earlier this evening at the Rockefeller Center in New York City. google_ad_client = "ca-pub-1413743582782046"; [...]
Scott Walker

Provision in Wisconsin Bill Requires Proof of Employment to Vote

Madison, WI–Lawmakers in Wisconsin rushed a bill through the legislature late Thursday to help curb voter fraud occurring within the state.  The bill primarily targeted early-voting options for Wisconsin residents but also included a [...]

Strengthening the Republican Party, Part 1 – Pray Your Black Away

This article is the first in a series to discuss how the Republican Party can regain control and remain relevant in today’s society. One of the major factors contributing to Obama’s re-election were black voters who voted 95% for [...]

Sources Confirm, Hillary Clinton Will NOT be Running in 2016 Due to Health Issues

<NationalReport>A collective sigh of relief could be felt across the Republican party on Capitol Hill today as news broke that Hillary Clinton will NOT be running for President in 2016 due to health issues. According to her followers, [...]

News Corp to Install Nets, Hire Additional Counselors, to Prevent Workplace Suicides

Following news of yet another Fox News employee committing suicide, News Corp executives announced today the retrofitting of their New York City office at 1211 Avenue of the Americas to include “suicide prevention nets”. Fox spokesperson [...]

Super Bowl XLIX Odds: Patriots Now Heavy Favorite to Cheat

<National Report>Updated Super Bowl XLIX odds have been released and the betting public by and large favors the New England Patriots to cheat.  The defending Super Bowl champions, the Seattle Seahawks, are not favored to cheat according [...]

Did Chipotle Stop Serving Pork at Hundreds of Restaurants to Appease Muslims?

<National Report>The Associated Press is reporting today that the Mexican fast food chain Chipotle has stopped serving pork at hundreds of locations affecting roughly a third of its restaurants.  According to Chris Arnold, a spokesman [...]

Woman Comes Forward With Shocking Allegation: “I Was Not Raped By Bill Cosby”

<National Report>In a shocking turn of events, area woman Joyce Taylor has broken her silence and proclaimed, “I was not raped by Bill Cosby.”  This news came on the day that two more defendants joined in the growing defamation [...]