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Jared Kushner’s Dick Sued by Pencil Company Over Brand Confusion

WASHINGTON, DC— Jared C. Kushner, husband of first daughter and East Asian entrepreneuse Ivanka Trump, was named as Defendant in a lawsuit brought by Gotwood Pencil Company, alleging brand confusion between Defendant’s dick and Plaintiff’s [...]

Trump White House Prepares Pardons for Two Jive-Ass Turkeys

<Washington, DC>In keeping with longstanding tradition, the White House is said to be preparing pardons for two jive-ass turkeys, according to high ranking officials with no knowledge of the decision.  The turkeys, “Eric” [...]


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