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Sarah Palin Wants Afghans Banned From America’s Armchairs, Sofas, Beds & Attics

(Image: Kim Piper Werker, Flickr via Wiki)

(Image: Kim Piper Werker, Flickr via Wiki)

WASILLA, Alaska — In a strongly worded Facebook post, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged all Americans to ban knitted and crocheted afghans from their sofas, armchairs, beds, attics, and homes, to “remove the dangerous and radical forces of terrorism woven into the fabric of radical Islam.”

Echoing Donald Trump’s earlier statement that the Orlando shooter, although born in New York and raised in Florida, was “born an Afghan,” the 64-year-old former GOP’s vice presidential nominee reportedly referenced recent attacks and the ongoing “Afghan war” as her top two reasons America needs to ban afghans:

“There are dangerous patterns deeply woven into the very fabric of many afghans. Depending on the different colored radical yarns and violent, foreign textiles used in their construction, virtual sleeper cells can be called into action to launch killing sprees which can literally kill hard working Americans in our sleep. If America does not elect a tough leader by the name of Donald J. Trump to protect our borders, our nation —from its purple mountains magistrates all the way over to our seas to shining seas— will unravel.”

Palin’s call predictably received the usual pushback from liberal, left wing cheerleaders and their sheep-like cronies. Presumptive Democratic party nominee Hillary Clinton dismissed Palin’s warning, labeling it “a blanket statement.”

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders condemned Palin, calling her a “rabble rouser” and “certainly not the national comforter the country needs during today’s tense times.”

Palin noted several other negative, foreign attacks on American soil, including the current worldwide honeybee crisis affecting the nation’s farmers and our food supply.

“After all,” said Palin, “regular, real American bees were doing just fine, until they were Africanized!”

(Image: Wiki)

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11 Responses to "Sarah Palin Wants Afghans Banned From America’s Armchairs, Sofas, Beds & Attics"

  1. Kit says:

    Funnily enough, the usual honey bees here are called European Honey Bees, LOL.

  2. Vicky G. says:

    Oh my goodness!! I am looking at a freshly laundered stack of Afghans as I write. I’m afraid to move now. Will they attack? They look innocent enough but I know the yarn for at least one was bought in Mexico. Does that make it more dangerous? If I put them all together on a shelf in a closet, or in a drawer, will that create a cell?

    Thanks for the chuckle. Enjoyed.

  3. Misty Brouwer says:

    Can we get her band from opening her mouth.. Cause that would be AWESOME!??

  4. Ted says:

    That’s a bit warped.

  5. Kim Serrahn says:

    Not sure if this is satire but knowing her I’m betting it isn’t. What a gobshite.

  6. Missy says:

    This moron like trump is and embarrassment to our country and we need to vote Blue for our Senate and house of Representatives along with Putting Hillary Clinton in the white house she is what we need

  7. czly says:

    Good grief – I’ve made a few afghans – didn’t know I was from Afghan. Regular, real American bees were doing just fine…! I’m with you Misty, this women really needs to shut her mouth…

    The article mentions her Facebook post, I couldn’t find it.

  8. DinahSure says:

    We all should be as concerned with national security and terrorism problems and the immigrants as Sarah Palin is.

  9. Gee, I ordinarily only use my afghan when I’m eating freedom fries. But I guess I could give up both for such a patriotic cause.

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