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Sarah Palin Granted Hysterical Landmark Designation By Preservation Commission

(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been designated a National Hysterical Landmark by a group calling itself The American Society for the Preservation of Landmarks. Palin, 58, is the first Hysterical Landmark designee, with future honorees to be named on a monthly, state-by-state basis.

In announcing the designation, a spokesperson for the newly-formed Society said,

“We could not think of a more deserving recipient for Hysterical Landmark status than Sarah Louise Palin. She serves as a bellweather by demonstrating her fierce commitment to her home state of Alaska, coupled with her always unique perspectives on the language and events of our times, be they regional, national, international, or maritime.”

It is not known if the Society is a legitimate organization, or a thinly disguised hate group designed to mock conservatives; however, both Palin and her daughter, Bristol, immediately took to social media to question the announcement.

A post appearing on Bristol Palin’s widely popular blog suggested that the Landmark Society may be nothing more than a “bully puppet sham organization:”

“Rather than responding in-depth to the latest possible attack against my mother by yet another group of giddy assholes, I will only say that some people have nothing else better to do with their time than to fling attacks against the Palin clan to see if anything will stick.”

The younger Palin explained to her followers that much of her time is “wasted by replying to all the haters.” She also explained her diminishing number of blog posts in recent months, owing to “a recurring bout of morning sickness.” Her latest public statement responded to rapper Azaelia Banks’s obscene tweets concerning her mother having sex with “burly black men.”

The elder Palin took a more light-headed view, saying,

“Hey, there’s no such thing as bad publicity in this media heady, goin’ steady, Facebook ready, Twitter feedin’, Instagrabbin’ [world] we live in throughout our great nation. If I can get the discourse back on track to click through, no matter who’s doin’ the textin’ while I’m doin’ the drivin’, then more power to ‘em, even if you can’t woo ‘em! Drill, baby drill until Trump 2016 takes America back in 2016!”

Future Hysterical Landmark recipients reportedly include conservative author and commentator Ann Coulter, former Fla. Rep. Allen B. West, and Former Minn. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

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2 Responses to "Sarah Palin Granted Hysterical Landmark Designation By Preservation Commission"

  1. Lillian Fabricant says:

    Whether you love them, or grab your head and run shrieking as you smash through a series of doors and walls leaving a person shaped hole in each, receding into the distance all the way to the horizon, or even Alaska, only a fool would deny the importance Of Sarah Palin and all the things that have fallen out of her and her mouth, to the State of hysterics in America, not to mention the impacts she has made on our understanding of Hysteria itself in relation to politics and lawnfights and turkey-slaughtering contraption commercials. She should be proud of this honor, and her status as the first female lady grandmother to be acknowledged as a national treasure of hysteric importance is all in line with her profile as a maverick, so I say Kudos to the American Society For The Preservation Of Landmarks, for doing their dang dong diddley job despite all criticisms from the crybaby media, and for giving this woman the credit she has MORE than earned! It would be a pile of fallow, infertile dirt, and not a woman’s contribution to our polity, if people like President Obama could just pull their strings and fingers just to get our important, dour institutions to perform a partisan, back-alley hystoryectomy of her significant and admittedly sexy legsacy to the American people, who adore and abhor her.

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