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Ben Carson: Quit Calling Me Herman Cain!

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

Hardly a day goes by when Dr. Ben Carson, current Republican presidential candidate, retired neurosurgeon and recent winner of the Southern Republican Leadership Conference Straw Poll, isn’t compared to – and mistaken for – Herman Cain, the business executive, Tea Party activist and former GOP presidential hopeful.

“Oh, yes, it happens every day,” says Carson For President volunteer Godfrey Cambridge. “The first time I heard people shouting ‘9-9-9! 9-9-9’! I said ‘Oh Lord – what is this mess going on over here?’ I thought they were German people doing a protest! Then my campaign manager tells me what 9-9-9 was. I didn’t know it was a Cain thing back in the day!”

“This one time in Philly,” said Cambridge, “was kind of the last straw. One lady came up and said, ‘I hope you make it this time Mr. Cain! Can I get your autograph, Mr. Cain? I’m voting for you again, Mr. Cain!’ He rolls his eyes at me and says, ‘Do I look like a damn pizza pusher? These hands were not given to me to knead pizza dough! These are the hands of a surgeon!’ I tried so hard not to laugh – I had to cover my mouth with a flyer!” Herman Cain, for the uninformed, served as chairman and CEO of Godfather’s Pizza from 1986 until 1996.

Although it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see why Ben Carson and Herman Cain are mistaken for one another, there are more differences than similarities between the two.

Carson’s mainstream political star rose significantly after an “in your face Obama” speech at the 2013 National Prayer Breakfast, where he blasted Obamacare. He had long been well-known in Afro-American neighborhoods after publication of his autobiography, Gifted Hands.

Cain, on the other hand, seemingly appeared out of nowhere in May 2011, when after “prayerful consideration with family and friends” he announced his presidential aspirations during an Atlanta rally, only to suspend his White House bid seven months later, “after a lot of prayer and soul-searching,” and amid growing and widely publicized accusations of sexual misconduct.

“Look at [Congresswoman] Mia Love“, Carson once bitterly complained to Cambridge – “a black Republican female from the state of Utah! Do they mix her up with Condoleeza Rice? No! So why not that gal instead of me? And what’s Obama doing about it? Not one thing! It’s to his advantage, that’s why! If they confuse me and Cain, then the people who didn’t like Cain, won’t vote for me! It’s another one of Obama’s psychopathically insane plots!”

Carson, usually not one to play the race card, has come under fire from Afro-American “progressives” and left-leaning commentators, who feel he has “sold his soul” to the other side, going so far as to hurl negative stereotypes his way. “Dr. Carson doesn’t play games like that,” said Cambridge. “He says we have more important things to do than waste our time on our misguided brothers and sisters, especially the gay ones who come out of jail that way.” Dr. Carson has since apologized for his remarks linking gay prison experiences to his belief that homosexuality is a choice.

Meanwhile, Dr. Carson’s latest conflict is with the very organization helping him reach his political goals. The Republican National Committee recently announced strict eligibility requirements concerning who can and cannot participate in upcoming Republican debates – guidelines that may restrict Carson’s own inclusion. Carson wrote a letter to RNC Chairman Reince Priebus not on his own behalf, but on behalf of one of his potential rivals, former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina.

“Our treasured Republic deserves no less a commitment by the party”, said Carson. Restrictions may also prevent Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham from participating in the 2016 debates as well. To date, no final determination by the RNC regarding inclusion requirements for GOP candidates has been made.

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One Response to "Ben Carson: Quit Calling Me Herman Cain!"

  1. Avatar David Stone says:

    Do you look like a pizza guy? No. You look like a fool who thinks the great pyramids were built by Jesus to store grain. Nutjob…

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