03292024Headline:
Learn about CBD

Area Mall Offering 10% Discount to Non-Active Shooters

Appleton, WI – The Fox Valley Mall has come under fire (pun intended) for an ad placed in Sunday’s Press Gazette newspaper offering a mall-wide 10% discount to all “non-active shooters” during the month of October. This comes amid [...]

Flint Tap Water Rated More Trustworthy than Hillary Clinton

A new survey released today from the Make Michigan Great Again PAC shows that residents across the state rated Flint tap water higher on the ‘Trustworthiness’ scale than democratic nominee for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton. In the [...]

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar’ Before Blowing Up Friend’s Inbox

De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurred at approximately 4:45 pm leaving the victim, Anthony Stewart, 41, physically fine but emotionally drained. [...]

Emmy Awards Announce Addition of “Best Crisis Actor” Category

Crisis actors have been fighting for over a decade to get a category for their work added to The Oscars, but it was the Television Academy this week that showed its branch is more open minded when it comes to updating its awards ceremony to [...]

BREAKING: Bristol Palin Struck by Semi

Wasilla, AK – Bristol Palin is home resting comfortably after being struck by a semi late Friday night. The 25-year-old unwed mother of two was reportedly broadsided outside Krazy Moose Subs near the intersection of E Herning Ave and [...]

Trojan Name New Ultra-Thin Skin Condom after Donald Trump

Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United [...]


*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional. National Report is not intended for children under the age of 18.