09202020Headline:

Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers

<Washington, DC>According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per [...]

Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing

President Donald Trump hit the links over the weekend and reportedly broke two long standing world records and accomplished golf’s greatest feat.  Trump reportedly finished the round of 18 with a whopping 39 under par breaking the previous [...]

Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign

  <Washington, DC>The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter” (“Frijoles Negros Importan”) campaign in support of a Goya Foods whose top executive was criticized last week for supporting President [...]

Virginia Officials Embrace Blackface History Month

<Richmond, VA>Government officials in the Commonwealth of Virginia have fully embraced Blackface History Month. While Virginia has long struggled with racism, momentum in support of the blackface community really picked up this week [...]

Trump White House Prepares Pardons for Two Jive-Ass Turkeys

<Washington, DC>In keeping with longstanding tradition, the White House is said to be preparing pardons for two jive-ass turkeys, according to high ranking officials with no knowledge of the decision.  The turkeys, “Eric” [...]

Alex Jones Suggests Flying False Flag at Half-Staff for Shooting Victims

<Austin, TX>Renowned radio show host and fake news creator Alex Jones has reportedly asked his audience to fly the false flag at half-staff in honor of today’s shooting victims.  While details of the shooter have not been released, [...]


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