(Hanna, WY) – It had been three long months since I last visited the quiet mining town of Hanna, Wyoming while on task to cover the groundbreaking test launch of the Obamacare RFID chip. I finally decided it was time to catch up with the wonderful citizens of Carbon County and see how they have been doing with their RFID implants.
Overall public opinion of the RFID seems to be positive among Hanna’s townsfolk. I spoke with Earl Gentry, a retired miner, longtime resident of Hanna, Wyoming and one of the first recipients of the RFID Chip in his community. He told me the following:
“Heck, I don’t know how I lived without one. I use the RFID Chip at the doctor’s office; I’m able to purchase food and clothing from all my favorite stores. I definitely believe our country would benefit from a federally mandated RFID law.”
I was pleased to hear about the project’s success which has lead to major advancements in RFID technology. At half the size of its predecessor the latest “MINI RFID” is able to hold over 100GB of data which can be easily updated to include medical records, insurance information, drivers license number as well as criminal history and some outstanding credit debts.
“I definitely believe our country would benefit from a federally mandated RFID law.”
Wyoming recently saw several hundred elementary and middle school children being implanted with the new MINI RFID. During their annual physical checkup and vaccination last month, each child additionally received the implant between their pointing finger and thumb.
Some parents took issue with the school’s approach, claiming the implants were performed without their foreknowledge or consent. Superintendent Gerald Morgan of the Carbon County school district tells National Report that most of these complaints come from families with heavily rooted religious backgrounds.
Xenophobia and superstitions are a common affliction among rural communities. Many fringe Christian sects believe Obama to be the Anti-Christ and the RFID chip the Mark of the Beast spoke about in their Book of Revelation. During the Second Coming and the arrival of the “Anti-Christ” all of humanity supposedly will be forced to accept the mark or perish. However, any who receive the brand of the Anti-Christ will be punished by the Christian God with eternal damnation.
The rest of the Wyomingites were ecstatic to welcome their town’s children into the fold. Citizens say they’ve never felt better since accepting the Obamacare RFID implant and are proud to be torch carriers for a safer and brighter future.
Many Fringe Christian Sects Believe Obama Is The Anti-Christ
Janice Willowbrook, whose child goes to St. Paul middle school in Rawlins, Wyoming says she’s not bothered by what the schools did. “I don’t mind that they went ahead and had my child implanted. I was going to do it anyway. If anything they saved me a stressful doctors visit.”
When asked why she thought some of the other parents were upset with the schools actions she told us “Unfortunately we still have some locals who are very old fashioned. They like to buy into all these nutty conspiracy theories and what-not. Believing everything their pastors say or the silly things they read on the internet. I hope that eventually we can all shed our fear of change and accept that this is the responsible thing to do as a country.”
I bid the peaceful town and its wonderful inhabitants farewell before heading off west into the approaching sunset. I enjoyed my time spent alone behind the wheel on those long stretches of highway illuminated only by car headlights and the occasional billboard. I drove and pondered the progress of the human race and all of the advancements we have made since our evolution from chimps. It left me feeling excited and hopeful for all of the grand new possibilities our future holds.