07242014Headline:

The White House Spent HOW MUCH on Dry Cleaning?!

ObamaDryCleaning<National Report>Washington, DC–In the month of April, the White House spent more than $137,000 on dry cleaning.  No, that isn’t a typo… that’s the correct number of zeroes.  The shocking figure has sent some Americans on a quest to learn the truth, while the White House has entered full-blown damage control mode.

According to a WikiLeaks article which was mysteriously pulled from their website on Thursday, after having only been live for approximately 23 minutes, the White House spent exactly $137,192.43 on dry cleaning in the month of April.  That figure allegedly adds up the costs of dry cleaning chemicals, machinery repairs, and, strangely, costs accrued by sending some unidentified items off the grounds of the White House, to be dry cleaned at private businesses in the DC area.

Memos shown in the article claimed that the expenses were drummed up by “yearly bulk cleaning,” saying that the White House only dry cleans “certain items on a yearly basis, typically in the month of May.”  Why those items were cleaned in April, and what those items actually are, remains unclear.

More mysterious is the fact that some of these items, also unidentified, were not cleaned in the White House’s dry cleaning facilities, but rather were sent away to privately-owned businesses. National Report has yet to identify which businesses these items were sent to, what those items were, or how much taxpayer money was spent on these procedures.

One memo attempts to explain why those items were sent “off-campus,” claiming that “some of our dry cleaning machinery had broken down.  We needed to send these items away for cleaning, while maintenance teams repaired those machines.”  Another memo claims the dry cleaning cost is “artificially inflated” due to the repair costs of those broken machines.

But not everyone is buying the White House’s story.  Dallas radio host Mark Buchanan stated on Thursday that “this is just another example of Obama’s abuse of taxpayer funds, as if we needed another one.  To spend thousands of dollars in one month on dry cleaning is questionable.  But to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in one month on dry cleaning?  That’s criminal.”

Buchanan also questioned the seemingly secretive nature of the items being cleaned.  “It’s fishy, if you ask me.  I don’t understand why these items weren’t categorized and listed out.  I don’t understand why this information is being kept from the taxpayers who elected him into office.  Why won’t Obama tell us what he was dry cleaning?  Why does that fall under the category of `classified intel?’ Is there something you aren’t telling us, Mr. President?”

Mike Feller, a radio DJ in Indianapolis, thinks he has answers to some of these questions.  “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.  We know for a fact that Obama has ties to terrorists, guys like Bill Ayers.  So I don’t think it’s beyond reason to speculate that these were probably religious garbs, items of Muslim or Arab origin.  That would explain why he doesn’t want the American people to know about it.  He doesn’t want us to know about his prayer rugs or whatever.  He’s paying extra just to keep it secret, I’d wager.  And if all this is tied into Benghazi somehow, I don’t think anyone would be surprised.  What I do know, what the truth is here, is that Obama is keeping secrets.  He’s hiding things from the American public.  We need to demand the truth because that’s what we deserve.”

National Report will follow this story as it develops further.

 

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4 Responses to "The White House Spent HOW MUCH on Dry Cleaning?!"

  1. gurina says:

    Where do you come up with this shit? Don’t you guys have a life of some sort? Get over the fact that a man of color became our president you total racist bunch of hypocrites. BTW Bush caused 9/11 I thought I would throw that out there. Now go out and find out about that.

  2. suitcase says:

    There is something more sinister going on here. There is probably a meth lab under the dry cleaning establishment, just like in that TV series Broke Bad. Its all smoke and mirrors to fool the American people, just setting them up for the Islamic invasion.

  3. Jim Droid says:

    You idiots! Don’t you realise that “dry cleaning” is code for rendition and interogariation of terrrrists? Your report has endanged countless partiotic agents going about their unlawful
    business by exposing them to public scurtiny!
    You may as well have handed the keys to the Whitehouse to Al Quader.

  4. miller says:

    Freedom isn’t free! I for one am pleased to see the First Family wears their royal raiment on more than 1 occassion, although donating the garments to charity after each wearing would be good. The tax break they would get would provide them with more disposable income to put back into the economy. Win-win for all concerned.

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