07232014Headline:

Westboro Baptist Offers Free Funeral Plot for Boston Bomber?

westboro-church(National Report) News sources are reporting that the family of Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the Boston bomber run over by his brother, is having problems finding a cemetery to inter the bomber’s remains. Thus far, nearly four cemeteries have rejected having the now dead criminal buried on their properties.

“It costs too much to fly him back to Russia,” said one funeral director. Also, there are concerns the grave could become a shrine to violence.

While death is a final sentence and the family deserves to grieve the loss of a family member, no matter the horrors they brought to the living, a place of final resting seems allusive.

Could the Westboro Baptist Church, well known for its community outreach and protesting of popular funerals offer a small plot for Tamerlan?

Funeral services and rites are uniquely human social behaviors. The reverence for the dead as well as the abjection horror of meeting one’s own mortality have made funerals a staple for nearly every civilization. Even Atheists recognize the importance of funerals, although they usually also include some kind of PowerPoint presentation and odd music choices.

WBC has been “phoning it in” as of late, promising to picket and then backing out. Laying to rest  the corporeal body of a criminal would be an unusual move and a slap in the face to others that judge the church as only a gob of greedy attention whores hell bent on raising the ire of local people and then filing lawsuits with uncanny accuracy.

Offering a free plot would allow the cult, church, legal group to sue anyone that dare desecrate the cemetery while lowering travel costs and keeping the site from becoming some kind of terrorist Mecca. For the family, it would mean Tamerlan would be looked after. For the WBC it would mean protesting in their own cemetery for a change.

WBC protests have recently been the target of photo-bombing, which unlike real bombing does not harm people. Protest protesters, those that abhor the WBC have posed with the group using mocking signs and other means of making the church appear as silly ninnies.

WBC has not issued any statements of intent to protest the Boston bombing suspect’s funeral or offer up a burial plot as of this writing. Anti-protest groups who have been forming walls of sentry to protect the families from WBC protests have not vowed to shield Tamerlan’s family from any WBC protest.

Earlier this year one of the WBC neighbors painted their house in skittles colors because of the Church’s stand on refined sugars.

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7 Responses to "Westboro Baptist Offers Free Funeral Plot for Boston Bomber?"

  1. Lillian fabricant says:

    Once they get their hands all over that body, you KNOW they are going to protest themselves into a weekend of steamy gay corpse sex and auto-unerotic slanderfication. Pretty sure the whole family sleeps in a big damp communal open grave at this point, for turning so many to embrace the gays unintentionally while frantically clambering over them while attempting to scramble away from the comparatively even yuckier Westboroians.

    • Barbara Bagwell says:

      You are probably right. And of course, there will be some kind of bru-ha-ha, but I think we need to remember that it will be in Kansas, not the East coast.

  2. Manfred Perigrine says:

    Boy do I love that Shirley Phelps! She’s a beautiful gal!

    • Barbara Bagwell says:

      A lot of buck toothed women are skilled at eating apples through a picket fence, true facts!

      • Lillian Fabricant says:

        Ann Romney can shuck corn through a miniblind with her golden chompers

  3. SATAN says:

    God hates signs.

    You have a sign that says gods hates signs.

    Westboro-baptist ideology cleverly defined.

    Cheers.

  4. Dogyaffergo says:

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