God is very unhappy with most humans right now. He has been warning us about our choices for quite some time now. He has been showing His disapproval in the form of earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, heat waves and massive snow storms, yet we still ignore Him. We continue to allow evil things to happen in our country. We allow gays to have rights, we legalized the deadly drug marijuana, we allow masturbation to happen all across this country, we have murders, rapes and a black President. All of these things are very upsetting, not only to God, but to good God-fearing, White Christians like myself. God’s warnings have not been heeded yet, but he recently sent a new prophecy in the form of a Moving Picture Show called “Sharknado.
If we are not careful over the next few years of the Obama Presidency, until we can get a Republican back into office like God wants, He will send hurricanes that will cause waterspouts to pick up sharks and deposit them all across our great land. Science has proven this can and will happen again. Right now you are saying “What do you mean again?”, and I am here to tell you, God destroyed Pompeii, not with volcanoes as most people believe, but with Sharknadoes so severe that they caused volcanic eruptions from the amount of sharks dumped into the volcanoes. So, while many people laugh and say Sharknado was a fake film, it really was a re-enactment of the Pompeii disaster.
As if a Sharknado wasn’t bad enough, God has recently revealed another part of his plan in a documentary on the Discovery channel. During the Shark Week marathon, Discovery channel showed a film called “Megalodon. Using actual footage found from a fishing boat that was destroyed by a Megalodon. The Megalodon was previously thought to be extinct, but after witnessing the actual footage from the television program, we can safely say that God has brought it back to life and is preparing to use it in His next Sharknado.
Right now, half the country is frightened and possibly wetting themselves in fear of the upcoming Sharknadoes, but the people living in the middle of the country are saying “We’re safe, we don’t live anywhere near the oceans”. Well, you’re wrong and stupid for thinking that. You have two other things to worry about. First, there will be Sharkalanches because snow is frozen water and sharks live in water. Be scared, the science is correct. Secondly, there will be Sharkcanoes. These will happen as God creates super sharks with skin able to withstand molten lava. These sharks will then swim through underwater vents into volcanoes causing a pressure overload which will force the volcano to erupt and shoot the sharks out into unsuspecting towns.
In conclusion, I have proven that these events will happen soon, and the only way to avoid them is to impeach Obama. Call your Senator or Congressman and tell them to vote to impeach Obama before we are all eaten by sharks.
Have a great day, and stay safe.