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TSA – Not The Hero Americans Deserve, But The One We Need Right Now

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Admittedly, I Would Love To Have One Of These Machines

<National Report>After 9/11 (never forget) many aspects of the American way of life were effected by drastic changes. Not only did we lose hundreds of our brothers and sisters on that tragic day, we also lost a considerable amount of privacy and freedom. One area in which this is most evident is our airports and their increased scrutiny of passengers.

Long gone are the days of comfortable, hassle-free flights. Now we are forced to contend with the ugly, assumptive sneers of deviant TSA agents. They are savage, brainless thugs, given authority which far exceeds their experience, intelligence and tax bracket.

These feeble-minded, cretinous schlubs whose sub-par IQ’s and doughy physiques wouldn’t allow them to become cops, are now essentially allowed to run rampant upon travelers at their own leisure. They spend their days debasing the general public, while barely providing any relevant service for which their positions were designed.

I find it amazing that even after nonstop allegations of abuse at the hands of TSA agents, people still insist on using airlines as their primary means of long-distance travel. Each day, millions of Americans willingly subject themselves to what would be seen in a sane society as sexual assault.


“Too Many Crazy People With An Axe To Grind These Days. You Just Never Know. A Family Member. A Friend. You Could Be Walking Down The Sidewalk, Minding Your Own Business, And You Still Might Get Your Head Cut Right Off Your Shoulders. Just Bleeding There On The Asphalt. Dead.”
Jim Harris, Frequent Flier-

Why? Where does America’s masochistic apathy come from? How is it that people have not banded together in opposition and proclaimed “enough is enough”? To find the answers to these questions I visited an undisclosed airport in the Northwest and interviewed several frequent fliers about the TSA and their impact on post 9/11 travel .

When I met Jim Harris, the regional manager of a popular hotel chain, he was bent over a table while being vigorously frisked by a male TSA agent. “I don’t really mind the pat downs, to be honest. If being felt-up is the sacrifice I have to make to ensure a safe flight, I’m more than willing to make it. Too many crazy people with an axe to grind these days. You just never know. A family member. A friend. You could be walking down the sidewalk, minding your own business, and you still might get your head cut right off your shoulders. Just bleeding there on the asphalt. Dead.”

Mr. Harris added, “Because of my job, I travel often, and to be perfectly honest, it gets a bit lonely out there in the world. Sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the pleasantries of human contact. When I’m getting patted down, I pretend it’s Lady Liberty gently embracing and comforting me. Completely changes the perspective.”


Perhaps Americans Deserve-Nay, Require A Shepherd? An Authority Figure To Discourage Individualistic Desires And The Potentially Harmful Effects They Could Have On Mankind As A Whole?

“Do we even have a choice?” Said Michelle Graye, a 34-year-old mother of two who was kind enough to speak with me after having been forcibly strip searched by airport security. Obviously flustered, Michelle told me that “It’s either this or take a slightly longer and more expensive trip by train. Sadly, being a single mother, those options aren’t as easy for me.” She went onto say, “It’s a pain in the neck for sure, but honestly, I wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling if it weren’t for all this added security. Otherwise, I might even try to sneak on a few ounces of blow in my children’s diapers. The temptation would just be too great.”

Could it be that humanity has arrived at a desperate standoff between civilization’s laws and mankind’s true malicious nature? Perhaps Americans deserve–nay, require a shepherd? An authority figure to discourage individualistic desires and the potentially harmful effects they could have on mankind as a whole? The terror attacks of 9/11 are a perfect testament to humanity’s inability to coexist peacefully. Can we really afford to chance a repeat of the twin tower bombings? I certainly do not believe so.

Without a doubt, TSA agents are little more than government sponsored thugs. Brutish enforcers deployed by the “man” himself. Their purpose has less to do with finding bombs and everything to do with the psychological impact they have on large groups of people. Soiling the dignity of common citizen allows them to present the illusion of an orderly world, one in which crimes are punished and the good guys always win.

With these rationalizations, TSA agents could be considered sort of “anti-hero”. It’s perfectly natural to hate them, for what inmate doesn’t hate their warden? And what is the world but a cosmic prison, anyway? Yes, these black hats, they are a necessary evil, serving a greater good by defending humankind from a self-imposed meltdown. Remember that next time a TSA agent is peering into your anus for signs of contraband. Perhaps you’ll consider giving them the ole’ thumbs up, commending them on their abuse, and all the safety we enjoy because of it.


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3 Responses to "TSA – Not The Hero Americans Deserve, But The One We Need Right Now"

  1. DG1001 says:

    It may seem that the general public is apathetic to these procedures, but I have been watching this situation closely for nearly four years now (reading both the comments and articles like the one you have just written), and I can tell you that it just isn’t so. Many online polls taken after the 2010 rollout of the full body scanners showed nearly 90% disapproval of both the machines and the new patdown procedures. These were quickly buried in the MSM. When the TSA was forced by court order to solicit pubic comment on the scanners, again, nearly 90% of those who responded voiced their disapproval. The TSA still has not responded to those comments. Frequently flyer surveys showed similar disapproval numbers, and Amtrak reported record profit increases for their train service in the years that followed the implementation of these procedures. The reader comments in articles such as this are almost unanimously against the TSA (as is mine) and are very much against what it is doing to innocent people. So there are plenty of signs that the American people don’t want this.

    The problem isn’t that American people are accepting these procedures, but rather that they are given no say in the matter. This is the new age of American government, it is no longer “by the people, for the people” but by itself, for itself, at the expense of the people like it is in any society where the government grows too large. Consider the NSA as another example of this. There was plenty of public backlash there over privacy concerns, and what do we get in response? A short speech assuring us that the intrusion will continue exactly as is whether we like it or not. Gee, thanks.

    I guess all that one can really do if they disagree is stop flying, or stop using internet services like Facebook. But that’s about it. It sounds sort of helpless, but once the government stops paying attention to the will of its people this is the way things go until it inevitably cannibalizes itself. And I guess this is sort of the inevitable end to the great American experiment all along. Even the framers saw this coming from a mile away. Consider what James Madison had to say on this issue all those years ago:

    “If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.”

    Indeed Mr. Madison, indeed.

  2. Nicko says:

    Nothing short of totally de-funding and disbanding DHS and the TSA while also repealing the patriot act will be sufficient to end the horror of state sponsored terrorizing of the American public at the hands of the corrupt oligarchic government of the United States.

  3. Susan says:

    TSA’s screening procedures are “theatrics” in the words of Congress in its decade review of the agency in 2011. Indeed, their procedures resemble the blanket warrantless collection procedures by NSA of our phone calls and email records, which haven’t been particularly effective.

    Yes we do have choices. Had we paid more attention to our civil liberties years ago and less attention perhaps to getting to that football game or getting to Disney World with grandma to see Mickey Mouse, these agencies would never have been allowed to encroach on us the way they do now. They have nothing to do with security and everything to do with keeping the funding going to feed these bureaucracies.

    Had we stopped patronizing these businesses that employ TSA to “keep us safe” (i.e., stopped all voluntary flying and attendance at football arenas or anyplace that TSA patrols) we would affected their bottom lines and they would have been forced to resort to more meaningful security measures. But no, Americans keep going along playing the game that these agencies “keep us safe.”

    I consider TSA’s presence even more dangerous than no security at all, because of the comfort of the “false security” the agency conveys. And for that reason I no longer fly and stay away as far as I can from public transportation hubs. So far the only evidence I see of what is effective against terrorists is a plane full of pissed-off passengers and crew.

    There is one thing DHS and TSA have done very well. They have scaremongered Americans to the point where they are sucking their thumbs in fear now and jumping at shadows, with full-blown Stockholm Syndrome. Now armed police are called to stop a teenage nerf ball game, because people have been brainwashed into seeing a terrorist’s weapon in everything. Even a little girl was suspended from school for having an L-shaped piece of paper. Do people take pride in being this stupid?

    For more on the ineffectiveness of TSA, see:
    http://gmancasefile.blogspot.com/2012/01/tsa-fail.html

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