04252017Headline:

Sarah Palin Wants Afghans Banned From America’s Armchairs, Sofas, Beds & Attics

WASILLA, Alaska — In a strongly worded Facebook post, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged all Americans to ban knitted and crocheted afghans from their sofas, armchairs, beds, attics, and homes, to “remove the dangerous and radical forces [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Bristol Palin Diagnosed with Chronic DTF

Wasilla, AK – According to several independent Alaskan media outlets, Bristol Palin has allegedly been diagnosed with chronic DTF. This crushing news comes just one month after giving birth to her second out-of-wedlock child, the beautiful [...]

Sarah Palin Diagnosed With STFU

WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been diagnosed with STFU, according to multiple media outlets. The diagnosis became public shortly after Palin blamed both President Barack Obama and the condition known as Post Traumatic [...]

Sarah Palin Bans Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin

  Wasilla, AK – Conservative superstar Sarah Palin says she supports Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s call for a ban on admitting Muslims into the United States, stating she once put a similar ban in place while she [...]

Sarah Palin Calls For Impeachment of Supreme Court Justices

WASILLA, Alaska – Moments after the Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Constitution guarantees the right to same sex marriage, former Fox News commentator Sarah Palin called for the “full and unconditional impeachment of the Supreme Court [...]