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Tyler, The Creator Starts SXSW Riot, Hundreds Sodomized.

// // // ]]> Last week I warned you all about the dangers of the sinfest that is Austin Texas’ South By South West, also known as SXSW. Many people did not heed my warnings and attended the horrible festival anyway. The combination [...]

Austin Prepares For SXSW SodomyFest

// // // ]]> Austin Texas – Residents of Austin are once again preparing their selves for the sinful festival that is South By South West, also known as SXSW. Every year hundreds of thousands of hippies, hipsters, liberals, art lovers, [...]

Texas Governor Offers to Assist in Execution of Gays Convicted in Uganda!

<National Report>Governor Rick Perry, of Texas, has reached out, in what he calls an international ‘goodwill’ gesture, offering to assist Uganda in its ‘time of need’. Governor Perry, along with an assembled group [...]

Texas and Florida to Consider Allowing Professional Athletes to ‘Open Carry’ During Games!

<National Report>Both Texas and Florida legislatures are now considering allowing guns at professional sporting events. The proposed laws, which would allow ‘open carry’ of firearms for all fans, would also extend that same [...]

Affluenza – A New Plague Amongst America’s Rich

It’s pretty much an unspoken truth that the lives of our wealthy citizens are worth far more than those of common folk. As a result, the wealthy should never be required to endure the excessive penalties reserved for your garden variety [...]
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White House Orders Wheelchairs Paid For by Medicare to be Seized From Cripples

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief Twenty-two severely disabled Tennessee residents have received letters from the federal government denying their Medicare payments for the wheelchairs they already have and use daily. All 22 disabled [...]

Texas Scientists Given Green Light To Use Sex Offenders For Medical Research

(Sutton County, TX) – Hundreds of violent and predatory sex offenders are being transferred from multiple correctional facilities all over Texas to a specialized medical research facility where they will spend the rest of their lives [...]

Texas Republicans Fix Alleged ID Voting Problems Over Confused Women’s Names

Reports from many dismayed women in Texas who are concerned that the new requirements for proper ID will negatively impact their ability to vote have poured into Austin since the new ID requirements went into effect recently, and has prompted [...]

Texas Governor Rick Perry Bans All Federal Regulations!

<National Report>At a press conference in Dallas, Texas today, governor Rick Perry said that he will no longer allow the federal government to create ‘alter boys’ of the citizens of Texas. He went on to announce that all federal [...]
Single Mothers

Single Mothers Targeted In New Reeves County, TX Abortion Law

Texas Lawmakers are in discussion over a new bill that will make feticide mandatory for women who accept Government assistance or fall into particularly low-income brackets. This will include many would-be single mothers. Texas Council Leaders [...]

Monsanto Sues RESIDENTS of Texas Town for Patent Violations Following Seed Mixup

<NationalReport>A mix up by the agro business conglomerate Monsanto has left residents of the Texas town of Brownfield literally scratching their heads and has fanned the flames of the national debate over the safety of genetically modified [...]

Chuck Norris Arrested,Then Released, as Ted Nugent Loses Finger In Bizarre “Glory Hole” Attack On July 4

Galveston, Texas watering hole Bucks Bar is expected to open for business tonight after a temporary closure two days ago as a result of the peculiar 4th of July exchange between two of America’s most beloved icons of masculinity, Ted [...]
Normal women seem to really like compliments from Governor Rick Perry.

Selfish Wendy Davis Rejects Rick Perry Compliment, Could Have Kidney Infection

(National Report) – Wendy Davis is the newest Liberal Lady icon for liberated ladies. After the female Texas Senator selfishly filibustered legislation that would effectively reduce abortions in Texas by 80%, Governor Rick Perry held no grudges. [...]

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock – The New Eat, Pray, Love?

(National Report) – The Eat, Pray, Love movement is finally losing steam. Once garden stones, tshirts, journals and jewelry start showing up in the rural Midwest flea markets, a trend is surely on its last legs. The Eat, Pray, Love philosophy [...]
Ninja Paul

Ron Paul Pulls Ninja Trick to Clean House

(National Report) In the most hilarious dope slap match in history, Dr. Ron Paul has schooled the United Nations and some of his most rabid fans. The bugaboo began in 2008 when Paulines, fans of the good doctor, joined together in a promise [...]

Steak, Beer and Oral Sex Secret to Long Life, Say Scientists

(National Report) – Important published works are soon to be released touting the benefits of a largely carnivore’s diet of Steak and whole grains found in beer. The study, sponsored by the Obama administration and Michelle Obama [...]

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