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Sarah Palin Wants Afghans Banned From America’s Armchairs, Sofas, Beds & Attics

WASILLA, Alaska — In a strongly worded Facebook post, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged all Americans to ban knitted and crocheted afghans from their sofas, armchairs, beds, attics, and homes, to “remove the dangerous and radical forces [...]

Sarah Palin Granted Hysterical Landmark Designation By Preservation Commission

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been designated a National Hysterical Landmark by a group calling itself The American Society for the Preservation of Landmarks. Palin, 58, is the first Hysterical Landmark designee, with future honorees to [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Bristol Palin Diagnosed with Chronic DTF

Wasilla, AK – According to several independent Alaskan media outlets, Bristol Palin has allegedly been diagnosed with chronic DTF. This crushing news comes just one month after giving birth to her second out-of-wedlock child, the beautiful [...]