Carly Fiorina Says Knocking Out Ivan Drago Was ‘Biggest Highlight’ of Her Life

MENDACITO FALLS, IOWA — 2016 Republican Presidential candidate Carly Fiorina has been up and down in the polls of late. She made a huge splash at the second Republican debate when she boldly challenged Hillary Clinton and other Democrats [...]
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

Starbucks Reveals Plans To Open New Chain Of Gun-friendly Cafés

Hot on the heels of their successful acquisition and closure of  popular San Francisco-based c0ffee house chain La Boulangerie, Starbucks International  has revealed it plans to launch a nationwide series of Gun-friendly, firearm-themed cafes, [...]
(Photo by Omar Vega/Invision/AP)

Texas Moves To Outlaw Man Buns

AUSTIN, Tex. – The Texas House sent a clear message in opposition to the “disturbing man bun hairstyle” with a 143-0 bipartisan vote outlawing the trend. First offenders will receive a stiff fine, and repeat offenders will face possible [...]

Cecil The Lion ‘Truther’ Denies Lion’s Existence, ‘Seeks Hide’

There’s a new “truther” movement out there, and it doesn’t involve jet fuel, steel beams, or Kenyan birth certificates. It does however, center around a global event gripping the hearts and minds of millions – the [...]
(AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

8 Years Of Republican Predictions About Obama Have Literally All Come True

REPUBLICAN HEAVEN- Republicans are finally embracing the phrase “I told you so” as the last prediction about Obama has come true.  The United States has seen gas prices spike to $12 per gallon under Sharia Law, and Obamacare has [...]
President Obama has instructed the EPA to cap Old Faithful to reduce carbon emissions.  (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson,File)

Obama Orders EPA to “Cork” Old Faithful Geyser To Reduce Global Warming

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK – “Old Faithful” geyser, the beloved National Historic Landmark and tourist attraction, will be “corked” by the Environmental Protection Agency to reduce the effects of global warming, according [...]
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Obama Not Sure What To Do With Texas Now That He Has It

AUSTIN, TX–After the successful takeover of Texas through Operation Jade Helm, President Barack Hussein Obama is now unsure what to do with Texas now that it has been brought to heel. The self-professed “whole other country” [...]
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Martha’s Vineyard Confederate Statue Throws Shade On Obama’s Vacation

OAK BLUFFS, Mass. – Controversy surrounding Confederate symbols surfaced in the most unlikely place this week: the affluent summer colony of Martha’s Vineyard, the exclusive New England island resort where President Obama is spending [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama To Receive Second Nobel Peace Prize

The Norwegian Nobel Committee, based in Oslo Norway, announced yesterday the name of their laureate for the 2015 Nobel Prize for Peace. President Barack Hussain Obama is their selection for this years prestigious award. With the Nobel Institutes [...]
(AP Photo/Richard Shiro, File)

South Carolina Removes Confederate Fag From Capitol Grounds

CHARLESTON, S.C. – South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley called for the removal of the Confederate fag from the grounds of the State House during a press conference on Monday, while surrounded by a group of state politicians including South Carolina [...]
(AP Photo/David Goldman)

Charleston Church Shooting: 7 Souls to Heaven, 2 to Purgatory

CHARLESTON, S.C. – Of the nine people viciously slaughtered at the historic black church Wednesday night, seven of the souls have an automatic pass to the Kingdom of Heaven while unfortunately, two will have to await judgement. “Sorry [...]
(Image Source:  Guinness World Records/Youtube)

Canadian Invents A Working Hoverboard: Available This Christmas

Y.I.OTTOWA – Canadian inventor Catalin Duru has just broken the Guinness World Record for longest Hoverboard flight and will be releasing his new machine to the public in early November. The flight, which was caught on tape over the waters [...]
(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Gun Owners Forced to Submit to DNA and IQ Testing

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the Brady Bill dismantled and waiting periods proving ineffective, President Obama has signed an Executive Order that gun owners will now be subjected to DNA and IQ tests. “Guns don’t kill people,” says Secretary [...]
(AP Photo/Andy Manis)

RFID ‘Obama Chip’ Nabs Escaped Federal Prisoner, Says Guard

BEAUMONT, Tex. – Next to the sprawling, 1,500-inmate campus of a Jefferson County federal prison, sits a smaller, minimum security “satellite camp”, temporary home to 500 low-risk offenders, mostly white-collar criminals biding [...]
(AP Photo/Steve Helber)

Ron Paul Warning to America: Obama is Black

iNTERWEBS – Across hundreds of news and social media sites, former presidential hopeful Ron Paul has delivered a dire warning that the U.S. is heading toward a massive crisis because our president is black. “I was in Congress for 22 [...]
(AP Photo/Mary Schwalm)

Senator Cruz at the Vietnam Memorial: “Mr Obama, Tear Down This Wall!”

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a speech delivered at the Vietnam War Memorial on the 40th Anniversary of the end of the conflict, Senator Ted Cruz has called upon the Obama Administration to remove the unsightly monument. “History is on our side!” [...]