03292015Headline:
(AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Gluten Activists Stage Nationwide Counter Demonstrations

According to reports from several media outlets, groups of Gluten Rights activists have staged sit-ins and counter demonstrations in at least a dozen cities across the US. Boston, New York, Chicago and Atlanta reported mini-marches taking [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama Wins Huge Auction For World’s Only Copy of Wu Tang Clan Album

President Barack Obama is now the proud owner of the world’s only copy of the latest album by legendary rap group Wu Tang Clan, after winning a massive online auction with a staggering $8.4 million bid. Wu Tang members Method Man, [...]
(AP Photo/Raad Adayleh)

FEMA’s First Concentration Camp Officially Opens In Arizona

The Federal Emergency Management Agency has officially opened their first “Political Realignment Facility,” more famously known as a “concentration camp” or “death camp,” in an area southwest of Willcox, [...]
Otis Byrd

Growing Anger Over Black Privilege in America & The Death of Otis Byrd

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief <National Report> A black man found hanging by a bed sheet from a tree in Clairborne County, Mississippi is under investigation by the FBI today. Local police discovered the body of a missing [...]
(AP Photo/Eric Mansperger/LIST Sotheby's International Realty)

Obama’s Magnum P.I. House, Taxpayer Gift to Michelle, Says Source

WAIMANALO BEACH – The $8.7 million sale of one of Hawaii’s most famous mansions is being called the “taxpayer’s going away present to Michelle Obama” from her husband, according to local sources near the island of [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama Signs Executive Order Making Voting Mandatory in 2016

President Barack Obama signed a new executive order today which will make voting mandatory for all adult Americans, starting in November of 2016. The latest Obama fiat will change the landscape of American federal elections, in a move that [...]
(AP Photo/Markus Schreiber)

7-Year-Old Emancipated From Republican ‘Dance Mom From Hell’

<PARSIPANNY, NJ>  7-year-old “Ashley M” made history last week, becoming the youngest person in the state of New Jersey granted legal emancipation from a parent – a parent Family Court Judge Jerome Hill called a “Republican [...]
traitors

GOP Approval Rating 94% After Republican Senators’ Iran Letter

WASHINGTON – Results of a nationwide poll show the GOP maintaining an astoundingly healthy 94% approval rating, up significantly as the party prepares to select a nominee to claim victory in the 2016 Presidential election. Jeb Bush, the [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

House Republicans Proposing “Dress Code” For First Daughters

If Republicans in the House of Representatives have it their way, First Daughters Sasha and Malia Obama might soon become the first presidential children to ever be forced into following a dress code, which would apply to how they present themselves [...]
(AP Photo/John Minchillo, File)

U.S. Looks to Trademark “Uncle Sam” for Added Revenue

I want you to….pay me for the right to use this phrase! That, if the United States government gets its way this month as it introduces legislation to trademark its famous slogan and caricature. This week, Solicitor General Donald B. Verrilli, [...]
(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

First Lady Michelle Obama to Propose National Hug a Muslim Day

(Washington, D.C.) – First Lady Michelle Obama will unveil a proposal Monday that she hopes will ease tensions and work to counteract an ever growing Islamophobia gripping the nation. In an effort to strengthen relations and help build [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama Considers Tax Credit Benefiting Those In Same Sex Marriage

Bradley Rockwell, a spokesperson from the Obama administration spoke with members of the press this morning in order to address the newest tax credit some will qualify for this year.  The tax credit is tentatively entitled ‘The Honeymoon’ [...]
(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

Rudy Giuliani Hospitalized After Suffering an America Erection Lasting Longer Than 4 Hours

NEW YORK CITY – Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani – “America’s Mayor” – was rushed to a local area hospital on Friday, diagnosed with what a hospital spokesperson called “a prolonged and painful erection.” Many snarky [...]
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

House Speaker John Boehner, 65, Found Dead Inside, Sources Claim

CAPITOL HILL – House Speaker John Boehner was found to be “dead inside” according to reports leaked to members of the press from various Congressional staffers, following his narrow reelection as Speaker last January, and amid [...]
(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Obama Will Grant Mass Pardons To Drug Offenders Before Leaving Office

THE WHITE HOUSE – Washington insiders say Barack Obama is determined to check off at least two items on his bucket list before leaving office: 1) breaking the presidential pardon record held by Franklin D. Roosevelt by releasing thousands [...]
(Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP)

Obama Giving $200M To NAACP After “Walking Dead” Fans Fail To React To Major Character Death

President Obama signed an executive order on Wednesday that will see the United States government give more than $200 million to the NAACP, after White House staffers reported that fans of the popular AMC series “The Walking Dead” [...]