05262016Headline:
Phot by Gage Skidmore Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Ted Nugent Bids 75K for Zimmerman Gun

Sources say rocker Ted Nugent has reportedly bid 75,000 for the gun used by George Zimmerman in the Trayvon Martin killing. // The auction listing on GunBroker.com lists the weapon as a 9 mm Kel-Tec PF pistol. The listing also says a portion [...]
LAPIERRE_CRIES

Wayne LaPierre Gets Choked Up About Guns Not Sold After Failed Background Checks

FAIRFAX, VA — At a press conference early Friday morning, National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre broke down into uncontrollable sobbing when he started talking to reporters about “all the guns that won’t [...]
Image Courtesy of DonkeyHotey via Flickr (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

TRIM JOBS? Paul Ryan’s Beard Tests Positive for President Obama’s Fecal Matter

Washington, DC – The Freedom Caucus, the congressional caucus consisting of conservative Republican members of the United States House of Representatives, announced today they have a definitive answer as to why House Speaker Rep. Paul Ryan [...]
LAPIERRE_CARE_PACKAGE

Wayne LaPierre Sends Care Package of Cookies, Guns, Ammo to Oregon Militia Squatters

BURNS, OREGON — NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre has made no bones in the past about his distrust of the federal government. After many of the mass shootings that have taken place during President Barack Obama’s two presidential [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Obama Bans Microbeads, Are Guns Next?

President Barack Obama has signed legislation that effectively outlaws plastic microbeads in facial and body cleansers. The bill that bans the sale and distribution of microbead cleansers is reported to help protect the nation’s water [...]
LAPIERRE_NRA_HQ

Wayne LaPierre Says U.S. Just ‘200 Million More Guns Away’ From Ending Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — Outside the National Rifle Association’s headquarters in Virginia, NRA executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre held a press conference early Thursday morning, just hours after the most deadly mass shooting since [...]
(AP Photo/David Goldman)

BREAKING: ‪#‎thoughtsandprayers‬ Bring Two San Bernardino Shooting Victims Back to Life

San Bernardino, CA – In what can only be described as divine intervention, two San Bernardino shooting victims that were pronounced dead by the SBC deputy coroner yesterday, have suddenly come back to life, lowering the body count down to [...]
(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Donald Trump: “My New Employees Will All Carry Guns”

BOULDER, Colo. – During Wednesday’s GOP debate, Donald Trump said that he would possibly feel more comfortable if his employees brought guns to work. According to reports, Trump will now extend hiring preference to job applicants who [...]
PP_GUNS

Planned Parenthood to Start Giving Away Free Guns With Abortions

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials with Planned Parenthood, the low-cost healthcare provider that has become a lightning rod for right-wing vitriol in recent weeks, have announced that they will no longer accept reimbursement for fetal tissue [...]
BULLETPROOF_SCHOOLS

Congress to Consider Funding for Bulletproof Schools In Response to School Shootings

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of the 45th school shooting this year, sources on The Hill say that several members of congress have “gotten the message,” as one staffer put it, and are considering several courses of action [...]
Leading Conservatives Attend 40th Annual CPAC

Wayne LaPierre Calculating Body Count Needed to Do Something About Access to Guns

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters at a press conference early this week that he will be locking himself away in a secluded cabin in the Appalachian mountain range with [...]
(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Following Oregon Shooting, NRA Backs Mandatory Gun Ownership

FAIRFAX, VA – In the wake of the killing of students at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, OR, there have been calls from many people to enact gun control measures in an effort to prevent future tragedies. But the National Rifle Association [...]
(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Republicans Pass Surprisingly Strict New Gun Laws

Washington D.C.- Republican lawmakers have long been vehemently opposed to any type of gun legislation, whether it be a ban on assault rifles, high capacity magazines, or even mental health screenings to prevent the insane from shooting up [...]
NRA_GUY

NRA Executive: 45 School Shootings ‘Too Soon’ To Talk About Guns

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA –When a gunman walked onto the campus of Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon and opened fire, killing 10 and leaving another dozens more wounded, it was the 45th such time a shooting has taken place on school [...]
(Photo by Omar Vega/Invision/AP)

Texas Moves To Outlaw Man Buns

AUSTIN, Tex. – The Texas House sent a clear message in opposition to the “disturbing man bun hairstyle” with a 143-0 bipartisan vote outlawing the trend. First offenders will receive a stiff fine, and repeat offenders will face possible [...]
Cecil

In Response to Lion Killing, NRA Advocates Arming Animals

The NRA, in response to the tragic killing of the much beloved, ‘Cecil’ the lion, has called for arming all animals in game reserves, especially those most sought after by big game, ‘trophy’ hunters. (adsbygoogle [...]