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(AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Ben Carson Gets Spray Tan Before Trump’s VEEP Announcement to “Improve His Chances”

Dr. Ben Carson, who says Donald Trump promised him a position in his administration, reportedly received a spray tan to “improve his chances with the party’s presumptive nominee” in what will undoubtedly become a crowded field of potential [...]
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The Covington Report: Health Insurers Bail Out of Obamacare Fear Imminent Collapse

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The Covington Report are the collective works of commentary and editorial pieces from Editor-in-Chief, Nigel Covington — Political Correctness Prohibited! Obama’s shining flagship of his [...]
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The Covington Report: The Dirty Low Down on D.C. Scandal Queen, “Dirty Hillary”

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The Covington Report is the collective works of commentary and editorial pieces from Editor-in-Chief, Nigel Covington. — Political Correctness Strictly Prohibited Here! Hillary Milhous Clinton, [...]
(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

Ben Carson Jokes About Trump’s Riot Warning: ‘He Meant To Say Stabbings’

WASHINGTON — Ben Carson’s unexpected Trump endorsement took a strange turn this week, after sources revealed that the retired neurosurgeon defended Trump’s warning of Republican convention riots by saying “it was just a humorous [...]
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Obama Nominates Judy Garland to Supreme Court Just To See If Anyone’s Paying Attention

THE WHITE HOUSE — President Obama, in a unique move engineered “to see if anyone in Congress is paying attention,” nominated the late singer/actress Judy Garland to fill the vacancy created by the death of Justice Antonin Scalia. “I [...]
(AP Photo/Stephen B. Morton)

Banned in Berlin: Donald Trump’s Remarks Get Him Tossed Out of Germany

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has banned Donald Trump from entering Germany after viewing scenes and listening to remarks from Trump’s so-called “incendiary” political rallies, according to sources. The action comes after the [...]
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

Marco Rubio Bio ‘Too Small To Fail’ Hits Bookshelves

MIAMI, Fla. – An “unauthorized” biography of Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, entitled Too Small To Fail:  The Marco Rubio Story, will hit bookshelves before the end of the month. The slim paperback, authored by Kitty Kelsen, examines [...]
(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

Nancy Reagan’s Last Words: ‘Do Not Vote For Donald Trump’

LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Former first lady Nancy Reagan, who died on March 6 at the age of 94, remained mentally alert “until the very end,” according to a private nurse, who told reporters Mrs. Reagan’s last words to her were, “Do [...]
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Trump’s Nevada Win Shows Illegal’s Better Informed Voters Than Democrats

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The following is an editorial piece from the Editor-in-Chief If Donald Trump’s win in Nevada last Tuesday has taught Americans anything it’s Nevada wetbacks are far more knowledgeable about [...]
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Ted Cruz Fires Back: ‘Ann Coulter’s Not A Natural Born Blonde; I’ve Seen Dick Pics’

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa. – While answering questions about his citizenship, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz responded to Ann Coulter’s charge that he is not a “natural-born citizen,” by issuing a charge of his own: Coulter is not a natural-born [...]

Daesh Uses Trump’s Wife in Recruitment Porn

The radical Islamic terrorist group Daesh made headlines last week when they started using billionaire real estate mogul Donald J. Trump in recruitment videos. Trump is the current leader in the Republican Party’s field of candidates [...]
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Ted Cruz Backs Constitutional Amendment Repealing Women’s Suffrage

LAND POLE, IOWA — Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), made waves last week when he pledged support to a right-wing, anti-abortion group’s proposed Constitutional amendment that would establish “personhood” as beginning at conception, [...]
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Donald Trump Lists ‘Fucking Your Mom’ as Only New Year’s Resolution

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Claiming to be in a “festivial and happy” mood, Donald J. Trump — the billionaire real estate mogul and former reality-TV star that is currently the Republican presidential front runner — gave reporters [...]
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Confused Lindsey Graham Staffer Didn’t Know Campaign Was Still Going

FLAT GROVE, SOUTH CAROLINA — When Lincoln McTavish got word that his position with Senator Lindsey Graham’s (R-SC) presidential effort was coming to end as Graham was suspending the campaign altogether, he was “incredibly [...]
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Ted Cruz Wants to Replace Donald Trump as the GOP’s Leading Douche

HARRISON, IOWA — Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) took his campaign to Iowa over the weekend, after new polling showed the evangelical, Canadian born conservative has overtaken long time front runner, billionaire Donald J. Trump in the Hawkeye [...]
(AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Ben Carson Proposes Universal Background Checks For Gum Purchases

BALTIMORE, Md. – Retired pediatric neurosurgeon Ben Carson called for universal background checks for gum purchases, breaking away from all other Republican candidates – and the NRA – on the issue. “This is a topic that literally [...]