02252017Headline:

Vladimir Tops the List of Most Popular Baby Names in US

WASHINGTON, DC — Vladimir now heads the list of the most popular baby names for American boys, bumping Jackson, Aiden, Lucas, and Liam from the top spots. The Russian moniker began trending last year, reflecting the increasing number of Republican [...]
Trump

Melania Trump Stuns Crowd at Rally: “I Never Had A Visa”

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Melania Trump shocked a cheering audience of supporters on Sunday, moments after introducing her husband at a packed Minnesota rally. “This is so much more than a political campaign – it is a movement,” said the [...]

Sarah Palin Lists Pig Latin as Language Skill in Resumé Sent to Donald Trump

WASILLA, Alaska — Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, hoping to get her foot in the door of Donald Trump’s administration, reportedly submitted her resumé to the Republican nominee’s headquarters earlier this month. Besides the well-known [...]

Ben Carson Reportedly Raptured After Fiery Speech at Republican National Convention

CLEVELAND, Oh. — Hours after delivering a blistering speech attacking both Hillary Clinton and Lucifer at the Republican National Convention, former presidential candidate Ben Carson was reported missing by his wife Lacena “Candy” Carson. After [...]
pence

Gov. Mike Pence Will “Make America Straight Again” as Trump’s VP

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. — Indiana Gov. Mike Pence vowed to “Make America Straight Again,” moments after news of his probable choice as Donald Trump’s running mate was leaked to major media outlets. Pence will be the first Republican [...]

Michele Bachmann Prays That Gay Conversion Therapy Will Help Her Husband

STILLWATER, Minn. — Former Congresswoman and Tea Party Caucus chair Michele Bachmann says the RNC was “simply listening to God” when they officially added gay conversion therapy to their current party platform. The adoption of what has [...]

Michele Bachmann: Obama Engineered Zika Virus to Fund Obamacare

STILLWATER, Minn. — In a speech delivered before a major conservative think tank, former Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann reportedly suggested that the Obama administration deliberately engineered the Zika virus, in an effort to “keep [...]

BeanFlickr SuperPAC Unites L.L.Bean & Flickr

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — L.L.Bean has reportedly joined forces with Flickr to create BeanFlickr, a bipartisan SuperPAC designed to fund and promote female candidates who speak to “social media-driven, traditional value voters straddling both [...]

Trump Supporters Required to Purchase “Rally Insurance”

TRUMP TOWER, N.Y. — In yet another sign that Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is meeting its financial responsibilities head on, rally organizers will now collect a “negligible” insurance deposit, and attendees will [...]

Bedwetter’s Mother Sees Image of Donald Trump in Son’s Sheets

CINCINNATI, Ohio — Like many youngsters, 6-year-old Rogelio Fuentes recently awoke to a pair of soggy pajamas and a set of wet bed sheets — a normal part of childhood development, many doctors say. But thanks to a sharp-eyed mother on [...]

Oddsmaker Says Donald Trump Will “Totally Melt Down” on July 4

LAS VEGAS, Nev. — A leading oddsmaker says presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump will suffer “a complete and total nuclear meltdown” over the July 4th holiday weekend, ignited by growing criticism from fellow Republicans, including House [...]

Ben Carson Gets Spray Tan Before Trump’s VEEP Announcement to “Improve His Chances”

Dr. Ben Carson, who says Donald Trump promised him a position in his administration, reportedly received a spray tan to “improve his chances with the party’s presumptive nominee” in what will undoubtedly become a crowded field of potential [...]

The Covington Report: Health Insurers Bail Out of Obamacare Fear Imminent Collapse

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The Covington Report are the collective works of commentary and editorial pieces from Editor-in-Chief, Nigel Covington — Political Correctness Prohibited! Obama’s shining flagship of his [...]

The Covington Report: The Dirty Low Down on D.C. Scandal Queen, “Dirty Hillary”

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief The Covington Report is the collective works of commentary and editorial pieces from Editor-in-Chief, Nigel Covington. — Political Correctness Strictly Prohibited Here! Hillary Milhous Clinton, [...]