(AP Photo/Steve Helber)

Ben Carson Caught on Hot Mic Calling Trump Northern White RINO

PAHRUMP, Nev. – Presidential candidate Ben Carson was caught on a hot mic calling Donald Trump “a Northern White RINO” while prepping for a rally in central Nevada. Carson reportedly made the comparison after reading that one [...]

Priebus Peeved Town Turd Polisher Didn’t Polish His Turds Enough

LAKE LARMES-SALÉES, WISCONSIN — This has not been a week to remember for Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus. On Wednesday, Priebus watched his party’s most recent primary debate on CNBC, and he was not pleased [...]
(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Donald Trump: “My New Employees Will All Carry Guns”

BOULDER, Colo. – During Wednesday’s GOP debate, Donald Trump said that he would possibly feel more comfortable if his employees brought guns to work. According to reports, Trump will now extend hiring preference to job applicants who [...]
(AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Bobby Jindal Launches GoFundMe for Bus Ticket to Next Debate

NEW ORLEANS, La. – Gov. Bobby Jindal’s campaign for the Republican nomination has hit a major financial snag, necessitating the launch of a GoFundMe campaign to cover basic travel expenses. Jindal spent nearly a quarter million more dollars [...]

Tea Party/GOP Establishment Set Rules for Upcoming Rumble Over Speakership

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Republican Party’s in-fighting over who should replace outgoing Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-CA) has reached a fever pitch, and word on the Hill is that the two main factions of the GOP’s Civil [...]
(AP Photo/Cliff Owen, File)

Following a Strong Debate Performance, Republicans Launch Investigation into Bernie Sanders’ Involvement in Benghazi

Washington D.C.- The new head of the Benghazi Committee, Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.), announced this morning that new priorities will be implemented in the investigation of Benghazi after Bernie Sanders surges in debate polls online. “Any time [...]
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Koko the Gorilla Just Endorsed Donald Trump for President

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. – Koko the gorilla, known for her 2,000 word sign language vocabulary, has endorsed Donald Trump for president, say handlers at The Gorilla Foundation. When shown a portrait of the current Republican frontrunner, Koko [...]
(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Republicans Pass Surprisingly Strict New Gun Laws

Washington D.C.- Republican lawmakers have long been vehemently opposed to any type of gun legislation, whether it be a ban on assault rifles, high capacity magazines, or even mental health screenings to prevent the insane from shooting up [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Kevin McCarthy Visited ‘Hungria’, Sarah Palin Says ‘Been There, Done That’

CAPITOL HILL – House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, in a speech meant to inform Republican foreign-policy experts of his international expertise said, “In the past few years alone, I have visited Poland, Hungria, Estonia, Russia [...]
(AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)

Ben Carson Actually White Man In Blackface

WASHINGTON, DC – Long-held suspicions about Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson’s origins were confirmed this week, after DNA test results revealed a stunning, but not altogether shocking revelation – he’s actually [...]
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Boehner Resigns Halfway Through Term, Cites Palin Doctrine

WASHINGTON – In a day full of news dominated by Pope Francis’ US visit, came the political bombshell no one expected: House Speaker John Boehner’s sudden resignation, effective October 31. Citing The Palin Doctrine – the Alaska [...]
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Pope Francis Asks If President Obama Will Validate Pope-Mobile Parking

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources close to the White House are confirming that things “got a little awkward”  between Pope Francis and President Barack Obama earlier this week. Apparently, the impetus for the brief bit of tension [...]
(AP Photo/Rainier Ehrhardt)

Scott Walker: Canadian Wall Will Prevent ‘Terrorist Hosers’ From Entering U.S.

Madison, WI – Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said as president he will build a wall along the Canadian border, the longest border in the world at 5,525 miles. Walker is showing that he intends to ‘Trump the Donald’ when it comes to border [...]
(AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Canada Offers to Build Border Wall to Keep Americans like Scott Walker Out

Moose Jaw, SK – Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has had enough of Wisconsin Governor and presidential candidate Scott Walker. Walker recently said in an interview with NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’ that if elected president he will [...]
(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Donald Trump is Winning over Mentally Challenged Women in Key Primary States

According to the latest polls, real estate mogul Donald Trump is bitch-slapping his GOP opponents in the two key early primary states of New Hampshire and South Carolina. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); New Hampshire’s [...]
AP Photo/John Minchillo)

KY Man Slides Hard Into Megyn Kelly

Williamsburg, KY – Wayne Kerr, better known around town as “KY Man”, made local headlines last week when he accidentally slid into Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly at the Kentucky Splash Water Park in Williamsburg. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle [...]