02252017Headline:

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’ Before Photobomb

Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was [...]

U.S. Considers Raising National Alert Level over Clown Threat

Due to the increase of ‘creepy clown threats’ across the United States over the past few weeks, the United States Government has allegedly begun meetings regarding dealing with this threat on a national level. While local authorities [...]

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar’ Before Blowing Up Friend’s Inbox

De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurred at approximately 4:45 pm leaving the victim, Anthony Stewart, 41, physically fine but emotionally drained. [...]

Roswell No Longer ‘Sanctuary City’ for Illegal Aliens

ROSWELL, NM – Roswell City Mayor Dennis Knight declared Roswell will no longer be a sanctuary city for illegal aliens. The City has implemented a new policy, the Crime Prevention Order to Reinstate Deportations (CPORD), that will screen everyone [...]

Trump’s Hair Seized by FBI Thought to be Mane of Cecil the Lion

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief New developments have emerged about presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s early morning meltdown just moments after his private Boeing 757 had touched down at New York’s LaGuardia Airport [...]

FBI Requires Licensed Tattoo Shops To Share All Customer Contact Information

MSNBC correspondent Jason Crane sat down with government official Alan Shaffer to discuss the recent rumors that have been in circulation regarding the FBI requiring tattoo shops to provide the FBI with their customer’s contact information [...]

FBI Ready to Cure FIFA’s Blatter Infection

ZURICH – 79 year old FIFA Official, Senn Blatter, steps down after thirty years of rampant racketeering and massive organizational corruption. FIFA, which stands for the Federal International Futbol Association, came under heavy scrutiny [...]

Juggalos Classified As Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center

This morning, the Southern Poverty Law Center also known as SPLC, announced the addition of a group known as ‘Juggalos’ to be be recognized as a hate group throughout 17 states. Juggalo (male) or Juggalette (female) is the name given to [...]

FBI Admits To Placing All Registered Motorcycle Owners On Classified Gang List After Waco Shootout

In the aftermath of the biker gang shootout at the Waco Texas, Twin Peaks last Sunday, citizens are looking to authorities for not only answers, but solutions. 170 bikers have been arrested and charged, however citizens want to know what will [...]

George W. Bush Unveils Painting of the Prophet Muhammad to Stunned Audience

Dallas, Texas – Former president George W. Bush, 68, debuted his latest art exhibition to an intimate audience of close friends and family this past weekend at a small art gallery in Dallas, Texas. However, it was one painting in particular [...]

Hollywood Studio Caught Producing ISIS Videos

<National Report>Shockwaves are being felt all throughout Tinseltown today as federal authorities moved to arrest several who are accused of aiding and abetting a foreign terrorist organization by producing ISIS recruitment videos. It [...]

Disturbing New Unvaccinated Child Porn Fetish Draws FBI Attention

<Tulsa, OK>FBI officials are investigating a disturbing new trend in child pornography. This new rash of child porn known as UCP, or Unvaccinated Child Porn, features pubescent children with varying stages of easily preventable diseases [...]

FBI Rigged Elections, Planted Spies In Congress, Leaked Docs Show

Documents leaked on Monday show the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been rigging elections in the United States to set up covert operatives as Capitol Hill politicians since at least 2006, and possibly since as early as 2004, all without [...]

Rodman to North Korea, Hopes to Ease Tensions

Dennis Rodman is at it again! Calling his “friend,” Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, a “Good man who was just fighting against bullies,” Rodman apparently boarded a plane late last night to North Korea, arriving this morning. But [...]