Photo by Barry Solow (CC BY-SA 4.0)

Anthony Weiner Soon to be Found Dead of Apparent Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

New York City, NY – Anthony Weiner, aka ‘Carlos Danger’ is missing, but will most probably be found dead from what a coroner’s office will likely determine to be “apparent auto-erotic asphyxiation,” according to sources with intimate [...]

Clinton Cannabis Culprits Caught Early Voting

KENOSHA WI, One person was hospitalized today when police and swat officers in riot gear apprehended a 1982 VW Vanload of crazed hipsters who attempted to early vote for Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton while baked out of their [...]
Photo by Yannick Croissant via Flickr (CC BY 4.0)

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’ Before Photobomb

Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});The couple, John [...]

U.S. Considers Raising National Alert Level over Clown Threat

Due to the increase of ‘creepy clown threats’ across the United States over the past few weeks, the United States Government has allegedly begun meetings regarding dealing with this threat on a national level. While local authorities [...]
Photo by Matthew G via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar’ Before Blowing Up Friend’s Inbox

De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurred at approximately 4:45 pm leaving the victim, Anthony Stewart, 41, physically fine but emotionally drained. [...]
Photo by Martin Fisch Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Mother of Slain Gorilla Calls for Peace as Protest Turns Violent

Cincinnati, OH – Gargantua, mother of the unarmed 17-year-old silverback gorilla shot dead by Zoo officials after a toddler slipped inside his cage at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, is calling for peace after protests erupted [...]
Photo by Chuck Coker via Flickr Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Roswell No Longer ‘Sanctuary City’ for Illegal Aliens

ROSWELL, NM – Roswell City Mayor Dennis Knight declared Roswell will no longer be a sanctuary city for illegal aliens. The City has implemented a new policy, the Crime Prevention Order to Reinstate Deportations (CPORD), that will screen everyone [...]
Hillary Blimp

Bad News for D.C. Scandal Queen, ‘Dirty Hillary’ as Top Aide Granted Immunity

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief Facing the biggest political showdown of her life in what promises to be one of the most brutal and punishing political campaigns in history, Hillary Clinton, must now square off with the ever popular, [...]
(AP Photo/LM Otero)

Trump’s Hair Seized by FBI Thought to be Mane of Cecil the Lion

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief New developments have emerged about presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s early morning meltdown just moments after his private Boeing 757 had touched down at New York’s LaGuardia Airport [...]
(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

FBI Requires Licensed Tattoo Shops To Share All Customer Contact Information

MSNBC correspondent Jason Crane sat down with government official Alan Shaffer to discuss the recent rumors that have been in circulation regarding the FBI requiring tattoo shops to provide the FBI with their customer’s contact information [...]
(AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

Reports of Animal Abuse/Mutilations Around Gathering of the Juggalos

By Cassidy Pen, TNReport Investigative Journalist COLUMBUS Ohio – Police at the state and local level in Ohio have reported numerous accounts of cruelty and inhumane conduct toward animals attributed to Juggalos within a ten (10) county [...]
(AP Photo/Michael Probst)

FBI Ready to Cure FIFA’s Blatter Infection

ZURICH – 79 year old FIFA Official, Senn Blatter, steps down after thirty years of rampant racketeering and massive organizational corruption. FIFA, which stands for the Federal International Futbol Association, came under heavy scrutiny [...]
Gang Leaders of the "ICP" (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

Juggalos Classified As Hate Group By Southern Poverty Law Center

This morning, the Southern Poverty Law Center also known as SPLC, announced the addition of a group known as ‘Juggalos’ to be be recognized as a hate group throughout 17 states. Juggalo (male) or Juggalette (female) is the name given to [...]
(AP Photo/Jerry Larson)

FBI Admits To Placing All Registered Motorcycle Owners On Classified Gang List After Waco Shootout

In the aftermath of the biker gang shootout at the Waco Texas, Twin Peaks last Sunday, citizens are looking to authorities for not only answers, but solutions. 170 bikers have been arrested and charged, however citizens want to know what will [...]

George W. Bush Unveils Painting of the Prophet Muhammad to Stunned Audience

Dallas, Texas – Former president George W. Bush, 68, debuted his latest art exhibition to an intimate audience of close friends and family this past weekend at a small art gallery in Dallas, Texas. However, it was one painting in particular [...]

Hollywood Studio Caught Producing ISIS Videos

<National Report>Shockwaves are being felt all throughout Tinseltown today as federal authorities moved to arrest several who are accused of aiding and abetting a foreign terrorist organization by producing ISIS recruitment videos. It [...]