04252017Headline:

Trump Reports World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing with Japanese Prime Minister

President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe hit the links at the world famous Trump National Jupiter Golf Club & Spa on Saturday with hopes of forging a diplomatic bond but ended up with much more. While no press was [...]

Atlanta Falcons Win Popular Vote, Still Lose Super Bowl LI

<Houston, TX> The results of Super Bowl LI are in, and the winner is the New England Patriots. After pulling out to an early 28-3 lead, Atlanta allowed the Patriots to reel off 25 consecutive points to tie the game and secure an overtime [...]

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Four More Years of Snowflakes

Punxsutawney, PA – The handlers of Pennsylvania’s most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, said the furry whiskered rodent saw his shadow early Thursday morning, predicting four more years of insufferable snowflakes. The top hat-wearing [...]

Flint Tap Water Rated More Trustworthy than Hillary Clinton

A new survey released today from the Make Michigan Great Again PAC shows that residents across the state rated Flint tap water higher on the ‘Trustworthiness’ scale than democratic nominee for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton. In the [...]

Donald Trump Hires ‘Clueless’ Stacey Dash for ‘Negro Outreach Program’

TRUMP TOWER — With his poll numbers among black voters hovering around 1%, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump reportedly tapped actress and FOX News contributor Stacey Dash as his “Negro Outreach Program” Ambassador. “She connects [...]

‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose

Prudence Bradley, 19, found it difficult to put into words what she experienced during her days as a social justice warrior. She didn’t have to. The way the slightly overweight feminist apologetically paused, fought back tears, and forced [...]