11222019Headline:

Avoiding Obama’s Same Sex Heimlich Scheme

(National Report) – While performing same sex mouth CPR is widely viewed just as homosexual as draining a groin snake bite, the same sex Heimlich maneuver falls somewhere between a lingering handshake and the tingling surge of thunder-down-under [...]


*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional. National Report is not intended for children under the age of 18.