05232017Headline:

Sarah Palin Wants Afghans Banned From America’s Armchairs, Sofas, Beds & Attics

WASILLA, Alaska — In a strongly worded Facebook post, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged all Americans to ban knitted and crocheted afghans from their sofas, armchairs, beds, attics, and homes, to “remove the dangerous and radical forces [...]

Sarah Palin Granted Hysterical Landmark Designation By Preservation Commission

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been designated a National Hysterical Landmark by a group calling itself The American Society for the Preservation of Landmarks. Palin, 58, is the first Hysterical Landmark designee, with future honorees to [...]

Sarah Palin Wants Arabic Numerals Banned From America’s Schools

WASILLA, Alaska — Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who recently curbed her demanding speaking schedule in order to care for her injured husband Todd, found time to support Ted Cruz’s call for stricter monitoring of Muslim neighborhoods [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Sarah Palin Diagnosed With STFU

WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been diagnosed with STFU, according to multiple media outlets. The diagnosis became public shortly after Palin blamed both President Barack Obama and the condition known as Post Traumatic [...]

Sarah Palin Bans Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin

  Wasilla, AK – Conservative superstar Sarah Palin says she supports Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s call for a ban on admitting Muslims into the United States, stating she once put a similar ban in place while she [...]