Tons of Morons Have Wasted $10 Million Donating To Another Moron’s Presidential Campaign

Representatives from the Ben Carson 2016 campaign are positively beaming. According to records released by the campaign, the neurosurgeon took in about $10 million in donations for the month of October. While that number is down about $2 million [...]
Ala. abortion clinic law unconstitutional

Local Republican Can’t Wait to Share His Awful Views of Rape, Incest With You

LAKE CHAUVIN, FLORIDA — Lance Westmund is a 52-year-old self-described Born-Again Christian, Republican, gun owner, and current line cook at the local Chik-Fil-A in his small Florida town. He says that in this year’s election Dr. [...]

Ben Carson: Not Claiming Your Farts Is ‘Exactly Like Slavery’

MORAN, NEW HAMPSHIRE — Dr. Ben Carson has drawn some controversial comparisons between slavery and other issues facing Americans today as he continues his bid for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. Most recently the neurosurgeon [...]

Town Republican Okay With Rape Exception for Abortion But ‘Only If She Wasn’t Askin’ For It’

SAND CORE, TENNESSEE — In a sleepy town not far from Memphis, William Jasper is writing a letter “to every single state government official” he can find the address on the Internet for. The purpose of his letter is to implore [...]

Planned Parenthood to Start Giving Away Free Guns With Abortions

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials with Planned Parenthood, the low-cost healthcare provider that has become a lightning rod for right-wing vitriol in recent weeks, have announced that they will no longer accept reimbursement for fetal tissue [...]

Benedict Arnold Award For Treachery Given to Carly Fiorina for ‘Selling Out Her Own Gender’

LEE, SOUTH CAROLINA — 2016 Republican Presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina has been rising in the polls since her performance in the second televised GOP primary debate. In that debate, Fiorina attacked Planned Parenthood based on sting [...]
(AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

House Oversight Committee Looking for Next Woman To Condescend To For Five Hours

WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Oversight Committee Chairman Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) told reporters today that his committee is now on the search for “another woman [his committee] can browbeat, condescend to and treat like human garbage” [...]

Carly Fiorina Fondly Remembers Breaking NFL Rushing Yards Record

BOCA DE LA MENTIRA, TEXAS — 2016 Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina has risen from the bottom of the polls to place just behind current front runner Donald Trump. Many attribute Ms. Fiorina’s recent climb in the polls [...]

Carly Fiorina Claims to Have Seen Proof That Moon Landing Was a Hoax

GOLDEN, IOWA — 2016 Republican presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina made headlines during the second televised GOP primary debate when she claimed to have seen a scene in the Planned Parenthood “sting” videos released by the [...]

National Hobby Store Chain To Sell DIY Abortion Kits

In a stunning reversal of company policy, a large national hobby store chain has announced plans to sell a “do it yourself” abortion kit in its 500 stores and online. This change comes amid new findings about Planned Parenthood’s practice [...]
(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

Kleenex Apologizes For Fetal Tissue Ad Campaign

IRVING, Tex. – A project coordinator from Kleenex® apologized for losing track of video shot for an ad campaign called Baby’s First Tissue. The video featured actors in restaurant, office and clinic settings discussing personal care [...]
(AP Photo/Joe Burbank, Pool)

Casey Anthony Breaks Silence: Calls Planned Parenthood “Baby Killers”

West Palm Beach, FL, – Casey Anthony agreed to a brief phone interview with Brian Sparks of WPTV NBC5 early Tuesday morning, breaking her media silence for the first time since January 2013. Under strict conditions set by Anthony’s [...]
(AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

Planned Parenthood’s ‘Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Have That Abortion’

Irving, CA, – The Center For Medical Progress, (CMP), the organization responsible for exposing Planned Parenthood doctors discussing the illegal sale of dead baby parts, has reportedly unearthed another shocking discovery that could [...]
(AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

Planned Parenthood: “Our Mistake Was Not Charging Enough For Fetal Body Parts.”

WASHINGTON, D C – “The only mistake we made was in not getting enough money for their body parts,” said an unnamed executive with Planned Parenthood Federation of America, defending a controversial undercover video of a doctor talking [...]
(Photo Source: Instagram)

Josh Duggar’s Candid Camera: Who’s Smiling Now?

WASHINGTON – An awkward situation has arisen for the GOP after photographs featuring Josh Duggar smiling alongside party heavyweights Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, and Wisconsin Gov. Scott [...]
(AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

Planned Parenthood Proposes Mobile Abortion Services

<NationalReport>With funding from the Obama White House, the Department of Health and Human Services, Immigration and Naturalization, as well as a variety of social action and women’s groups, Planned Parenthood today, announced [...]