07242014Headline:

Sweet Cakes By Melissa Operators Bullied Into Closing Up Shop

Sweet Cakes By Melissa Store Front

A Sad Day Indeed For The Kliens Who Had To Close Their Store Front Shop After Continued Harassment From Oregon’s PC Mafia

<NR>Hundreds of corpulent sapphic beasts and their brainwashed minions took to the streets Sunday night to celebrate the destruction of Sweet Cakes By Melissa bakery. Aaron and Melissa Klein were just a humble Christian couple operating a cake shop in Gresham Oregon, that is, until a couple of doubler tucker deviants decided to pay them a visit and demand they construct a wedding cake for their blasphemous union.

The Klein’s informed them that they would be happy to serve them, but they politely declined providing them with the elaborate traditional slab of scrumptious cake reserved for the nuptial rites of heterosexuals. They gently explained to the duo of incredulous brutes that  to do so would be akin to collaborating with the demonic forces that are currently ripping the fabric of our great nation to ribbons… That’s when all hell broke loose.


Rather than pack up their precious parcel of hurt feelings and hunt down a bakery willing to whip up some tasty treats for their parody of a wedding ceremony, the unsatisfied ogres stomped their bovine asses straight down to the federal courthouse to file a discrimination complaint against the modest god-fearing bakers. They also began to bleat and whinny loudly to every media outlet willing to listen about how they were victims of horrific discrimination after being denied the scrumptious delicacies that should naturally only be prepared for and consumed at traditional christian weddings.

Sweet Cakes By Melissa – Frosting the Cake of Intolerance?

Once the tolerance and diversity mafia got a whiff of the drama brewing they descended upon the couples business, Sweet Cakes By Melissa, with a relentless flurry of death threats, harassment and vitriol until they were forced to close their doors and operate from home. Now if you wish to enjoy their delectable cakes you have to pass a 5 point security clearance and be frisked by an team of armed security guards to ensure the safety of the bakeries operators is not compromised. The Sweet Cakes compound now sits behind a 12 foot chain link fence topped with razor wire to ensure those over-zealous champions of tolerance who insist on enforcing their plan cannot harm the docile Kliens for their refusal to conform to their twisted agenda.


What Next?

Related Articles

26 Responses to "Sweet Cakes By Melissa Operators Bullied Into Closing Up Shop"

  1. Cassidy Pen says:

    That cake knife once used to whittle away at the foundations of our great nation is now used to cut an enormous piece of the it.

  2. I used to make what I thought was a lovely coconut cake. The recipe won a second place ribbon at a state fair, since Junebug Perry slept with the judges, winning first prize for what clearly was a store bought cake.

     

    As a young bride, I surprised my husband with one. Unfortunately I’m the one that got the surprise.

     

    He fell to the floor upon seeing the confection, covered in white “hairs” he called it. He kicked his legs against the floor, writhing in circles on the linoleum as he held his own throat like he was choking to death. I left the kitchen to make sure I had all the insurance papers in case he died, which seemed to break the spell.

     

    He later explained that coconut cake caused homosexuality and cancer. I’ve never made another coconut cake.

     

    The point is, why didn’t the shop owner just shoot these people? Here in Missouri a store owner is well within their rights to shoot patrons that refuse service.

    • friedpikmin says:

      I’m sorry, but you are insane and your husband is an idiot.

    • Kevin Smith says:

      Oh my God! Now I know why I prefer sodomy! If I had only learned of this fact years ago, before it was too late! Now I know I’m going to Hell! Well as long as there are NO Christians there, I’m ok with that…..

      • E. Levesque says:

        Capitalism didn’t work. Capitalism is a FREE MARKET. Free to refuse service. Free to do business with whom one wants. What happened to Sweet Cakes by Melissa is nothing more than Terrorism. Terrorism won. That is all that happened. It’s disgusting that you would equate what happened to Sweet Cakes as having anything to do with capitalism. The Kleins were targeted by a religious bigoted and heterophobic LGBT network that is as vicious and animalistic as anything I have ever seen in my lifetime. I was in the 60s when gay people were cool and minded their own business. You can be sure I will be buying every single baked good I can from Melissa who is now FORCED to bake in her garage. But I don’t care. She is going to get every extra dollar I have from now on. There are plenty of people who feel the SAME and are doing the same as me. So watch out or YOUR business could get targeted cause what comes around goes around and karma is a real…….

        • I love capitalism.

          The Kleins are pretty lucky to now be able to write off a portion of their home as business expense. Less taxes are always a good thing. As long as the neighbors don’t complain and their home is zoned as residential/commercial property. You’re right about ignoring customers, especially for wedding cakes, which typically are higher ticket and profit items in a bakery. It is unfortunate that legalized same sex marriage dumped a whole new demographic on the doorstep of the competition, but I’m sure the savings on the taxes will make it all okay. Maybe Melissa can start baking divorce cakes, since the average traditional marriage has only a 50-50 chance of surviving and of course fewer ‘difference’ couples are getting married.

          Capitalism sure is great.

        • Robin says:

          Yes…what comes around goes around, which is why the Kleins lost their business. Do you know what bigotry is? It is having an obstinate and unreasoning attachment of one’s own beliefs and opinions, with narrow minded intolerance of beliefs opposed to them. The Kleins, were bigots, and it came back to bite them in the ass. Karma…hahahahaha. I’m pretty darn sure that Jesus would not approve of said bigotry. Yet religious fanatics ALL exhibit such hostile mind sets. It’s sickening and wrong. Oh, and by the way? Who ARE you weirdos?? You are all INSANE!!

    • Pat Mustard says:

      I hear you Barbara, coconut cake is potent, I have witnessed this with my own eyes. Last year at a local village fete our vicar ate one too many slices of coconut cake, this roused potent homosexual desires of the likes I have never seen before. The poor vicar was so overcome with a burning homosexual arousal he tried getting it on, there and then, with a number of church goers, one of them was in his 70′s. We had to literally beat the vicar off of his victims with a stick.

      Readers be warned, coconut cake is not to be messed with!

  3. Bob says:

    Why doe the NR use a photo of a couple that is not the actual couple? Being factual isn’t your aim here in this article, is it.

    • Bob, what you saw was merely a glitch. An illusion. If you will look at the article now you’ll see that what I’m saying is true.

    • Nigel Covington says:

      Shut up Bob. Your pathetic liberal douche attitude is clearly displayed because you attack the one photo used in this story. Hey wake up Bob… its not a photo of the couple is it? No it is a photo of one person entering or leaving the bakery that’s under attack by these Gay Bigot Haters who whined like infants to get gay marriage passed, and now that it is the gays turn their hate and rage towards this couple and runs them out of business forcing them to close their shop under death threats. Now that the gays have come out of the closet the rest of us can see they are anything but the loving peaceful people they presented themselves to be. We don’t need more hate, rage and violence in the U.S.so I say lets revoke gay marriage and shove these homos back in the closet where they belong so decent prople can live in peace without fear of being raped by gays hate mongers, and their supporters!!!

      • Benjamin says:

        You might want to learn the rest of the story. It appears that the lovely little “Christian” couple who have been so “terribly discriminated against” seem to pick and choose which Christian values they will use to discriminate customer requests.

        “To test out which religious convictions would cause the shop to refuse business, Willamette Week called up the shop and asked them to make cakes for divorce, out-of-wedlock children, human stem cell research and a pagan solstice (with a pentacle design requested for the cake). All requests were responded to positively, with price quotes.” I don’t know about you but I call that hypocrisy. They are about as victimized as Jim Crow. They’re bigots and they really need to look in the mirror.

      • Benjamin says:

        I’d say that we should shove you back in the closet. You sound about as closeted as they come. That’s typical of those who are vehemently homophobic. They are all too often gay themselves. The hate and rage is coming from the likes you and of those at The National Hatemonger Report Tabloid.com

  4. Lillian Fabricant says:

    I’ve been in that shop, and remember thinking they had something to hide, christian or not. I asked them why the hell they called it Sweet Cakes by MELISSA, and not by the more appropriate Sweet Cakes by AARON, since a woman is but a vessel and possession to her husband, Jesus says. She wore a tool belt and was fixing the oven and he had on a bit much cologne, a knock-off version of Charlie tm I’d swear, and he was also wearing a persimmony-colored shirt in a tint I’d never seen on a man in my life, and some kind of radar inside me went off explosively. More like Mike-lissa and Erin, I saids in my authority voice at the time, real loud, to all the hipsters there sucking frosting off their slobbery bacon banana balls. Who wants to eat a cupcake they have to chase around the floor until it has been covered in enough cat hair and smushy mouse feces to stop rolling? Just to get at some salty caramel goo some stranger injected into 600 empty calories? Not me, NO THANKS!

    • Perhaps Aaron should check his insurance papers on Melissa. Everybody knows whemens can’t fix things, oven fixing sounds dangerous.

      • Lillian Fabricant says:

        Unfixed ovens help stop unwanted abortions, wherever state sterilization programs fail to deliver. You can try, but cannot actually cook a baby to term over a 100 watt lightbulb, no matter what the easy-bake people tell you, which is usually that the maximum wattage must not exceed 60 watts. As if THAT would work!

        • MC Moose says:

          I tried cooking a baby to term with my now ex-wife. Problem is, I only had a barbecue grill and a bunch of cardboard I stole from the hippy neighbor’s recycling bin. When I got out of prison she told me the baby wasn’t mine, so I really didn’t feel bad about all the burns.

          • Lillian Fabricant says:

            You can, however grow a harvestable 9 month baby in a hollowed out watermelon or pumpkin, just hotglue the teeny tiny embryo to the slimy wall and pack the insides with strings of christmas lights, wrap it up in foil, then wrap the whole sheBang in more strings of lights (Blue works best),and plug it in and wait. Lesbians will adopt the shit out of those pumpkin babies. You can draw on the kind of face you want the child to have, chinese, scary, retarded, whatever…and as long as you don’t carve all the way through the rind it will come out all looky-likey. MAKE SURE NO SEEDS OR PITS ARE INSIDE THE SHELL, or you’ll be sorry. I warned you.
            Also, you can sometimes trick a kangaroo into carrying a human child…toss a good dozen 1″ – 1.5″ proto-fetuses at it’s pouch in spring at the zoo, 7 months later you’ll get your picture in the paper for sure!

  5. Benjamin says:

    It’s interesting how this right wing parody tabloid site is taken so seriously.

  6. Odawaa Waraabe says:

    I got aids from one of these cakes.

  7. RoRo says:

    Would it be considered “discrimination” if they refused to make a cake for a polygamist couple because of their “religious beliefs” against polygamy?

    Would it be considered “discrimination” if they refused to make a First Communion cake because of their “religious beliefs” against Catholic doctrine?

    • MC Moose says:

      No because the Biblically-mandated state of Capitalism says that “thou shalt discriminate agin anyone who dares not follow the holy writ.”

      Polygamy is practiced by Mormons, who aren’t really Christians since Joseph Smith and his father both were involved in occult belief systems and the practice of ritual magic. Catholics aren’t much better.

  8. Rush Glenn Hannity says:

    These creeps should be forced to make free gay wedding cakes for their bigotry. The government should put them out of business, however, if members of the westrboro Baptist church went into a gay owned bakery they should have to eat the wedding cake for the ending of a good time Charlie makeshift hobo turbine!

  9. Pat Mustard says:

    note to the moderators, on my last post I incorrectly typed in my email address, I have since amended this.

    In case my post gets removed because of this, here it is again, I think, and I hope you will agree, that the dangers of coconut cake needs all the attention it can get!

    I hear you Barbara, coconut cake is potent, I have witnessed this with my own eyes. Last year at a local village fete our vicar ate one too many slices of coconut cake, this roused potent homosexual desires of the likes I have never seen before. The poor vicar was so overcome with a burning homosexual arousal he tried getting it on, there and then, with a number of church goers, one of them was in his 70′s. We had to literally beat the vicar off of his victims with a stick.

    Readers be warned, coconut cake is not to be messed with!

  10. Pat Mustard says:

    note to the moderators, on my last post I incorrectly typed in my email address, I have since amended this.

    I am posting this message with my correct email address, I think, and I hope you will agree, that the dangers of coconut cake needs all the attention it can get, my post is an important public health warning!

    Thank you

    Pat mustard