DeQuincy, LA — A small town in Louisiana is taking matters into their own hands when it comes to the controversial topic of gun control. They are arming all of their students, K-12, and staff members with hand guns. The three different schools in the town will also have armed guards with semi-automatic rifles stationed at every entrance.
Arnie Bennings who is the Superintendent for the school district in DeQuincy spoke with reporters this afternoon to explain the new gun policies. “We won’t ever let a tragedy like Sandy Hook happen here in DeQuincy,” said Bennings. “We understand it’s a big step putting guns in the hands of school children but drastic times call for drastic measures. I dare some psycho to even think about coming here and shooting up our school. I would love to see how far they get. I’m thinking, maybe within 100 yards of the school before one of our students puts him down permanently.”
Chief spokesman for the NRA in Louisiana Bill Hanson told CNN that it is great what the town of DeQuincy is doing. “This is a great step in the right direction. The town of DeQuincy is the first city in the country to join our new ‘Kids With Guns’ program,” Hanson said. “No one in their right mind would think of shooting up a school filled with 500 kids and teachers armed to the teeth with semi-automatic weapons. Hopefully more schools will follow DeQuincy’s lead on this.” Hanson continued, “If you had guns in the hands of every child and teacher in the United States, school shootings would be a thing of the past, something you would just read about in the history books.”
3rd grade student Brandon Adams said he loves his new gun. “It’s so awesome, I look like James Bond now,” Adams said. “I dare any of the bullies in the school to pick on me now. They try and disrespect again and it’s game over son.”
Every student and staff member in DeQuincy will be required to carry a fully loaded Glock pistol on their person at all time. The children and staff members are also obligated to take a 40 hour class on how to fire a handgun safely and correctly. Staff members told reporters that the children will not be allowed to take the weapons home with them and the guns will be locked up every night so no accidents can occur. For more information or how to get your school district enrolled in the ‘Kids With Guns’ program, please call (785) 273-0325.