WASILLA, Alaska — In a strongly worded Facebook post, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin urged all Americans to ban knitted and crocheted afghans from their sofas, armchairs, beds, attics, and homes, to “remove the dangerous and radical forces of terrorism woven into the fabric of radical Islam.”
Echoing Donald Trump’s earlier statement that the Orlando shooter, although born in New York and raised in Florida, was “born an Afghan,” the 64-year-old former GOP’s vice presidential nominee reportedly referenced recent attacks and the ongoing “Afghan war” as her top two reasons America needs to ban afghans:
“There are dangerous patterns deeply woven into the very fabric of many afghans. Depending on the different colored radical yarns and violent, foreign textiles used in their construction, virtual sleeper cells can be called into action to launch killing sprees which can literally kill hard working Americans in our sleep. If America does not elect a tough leader by the name of Donald J. Trump to protect our borders, our nation —from its purple mountains magistrates all the way over to our seas to shining seas— will unravel.”
Palin’s call predictably received the usual pushback from liberal, left wing cheerleaders and their sheep-like cronies. Presumptive Democratic party nominee Hillary Clinton dismissed Palin’s warning, labeling it “a blanket statement.”
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders condemned Palin, calling her a “rabble rouser” and “certainly not the national comforter the country needs during today’s tense times.”
Palin noted several other negative, foreign attacks on American soil, including the current worldwide honeybee crisis affecting the nation’s farmers and our food supply.
“After all,” said Palin, “regular, real American bees were doing just fine, until they were Africanized!”