RFID Mascot Begins Nationwide Tour To Help Alleviate Children’s Fears Of Implantation


Chippie The RFID Coming Soon To A School Near You!

(USA) – In an effort to separate myth from truth regarding the federally mandated Obamacare RFID chip implantation program, a public awareness campaign has been launched to tour in a number of public schools across our nation.

The operation features a jovial animated mascot, a cartoon RFID chip named “Chippie”. They use the character to demonstrate to their young audience the benefits of having the RFID implanted under your skin.

After a whimsical 30 minute cartoon following Chippie during one of his many adventures, there is a puppet show where children are encouraged to ask Chippie any questions they may have relating to the RFID chip or the implantation process. Each child leaves the exhibition with a “Chippie” stuffed doll, coloring book and several informative pamphlets for their parents to read that may assuage any lingering fears to their children receiving the device.

Many of them were eager to get implanted with the chip on the spot. “It felt like a pinch”, explained Doug Walker who attended a recent Chippie seminar a Carbon County, Wyoming school.  Holding up his slightly swollen left hand bearing the tiny hole where the needle had been inserted he said. “Now I can get free candy every time me and mommy go to the bank or the grocery store!”, he beamed proudly. “Chippie is my new best friend who lives inside of me!”

Walt Eisner, the creator of the “Chippie” character was summoned to speak to parents during the maiden flight of the brand new campaign. “We would like to assure parents that there is nothing to fear with the implementation of this new program. It is something that will inevitably benefit everyone in the long run and there are virtually no downsides. This will create elevated ease, convenience and security in all everyday transactions. With the technology available these days, the program is long overdue.”

UPDATE 11-09-13 Wyoming Christians Report Forced Obamacare RFID Chipping

UPDATE 11-13-13 Chippie The RFID Insists “I’m Not The Mark Of The Beast” In Recent Press Conference


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372 Responses to "RFID Mascot Begins Nationwide Tour To Help Alleviate Children’s Fears Of Implantation"

  1. Wow says:

    I’m not sure what kind of drugs the majority of you are on, but this story is as real as the god you worship. Before you start feeding your paranoia with these hoaxes, take a moment to discover a little more info, such as the fact that this website is satirical. Then again this is the internet and anything goes so any source could technically be right or wrong, in which case you should go ahead and use something called “logical reasoning”. I’m 18 years old so I’m hoping it’s just the older generation that’s acting naive, but please think for yourself to avoid looking like a fool.


  2. Kent Bowers says:

    You guys and others say this is false info about Chippie. Only I was wondering if anyone saw last year I saw videos on chippie. He was on stage with several children in audience and some kids were with him on stage. At least they were talking about the RFID was good and it gave their reasons why. It looked like they were at schools as there was more than one tape. Now this year I only get this was false as I can not find any vids like last year. My ? to you is has anyone seen these vids from last year, because they sure looked real last year. I think ihad this vid saved but I have so many vids it will take awhile to get it up. my email is kentbowers777@yahoo.com

  3. nochippy says:

    no chip for us !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. US "Citizen" says:

    Over my dead body

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