10302014Headline:

RFID Chip Now Being Issued In Hanna, Wyoming As Part Of New “Obamacare” Plan

RFID Chip Technical Info

Here We Can See The Size And Shape Of The Exciting New RFID Chip

(Hanna, WY) – The “Obamacare” RFID chips are currently being given a test run on the proud and patriotic citizens of Hanna, Wyoming.

Over the last two weeks a special piece of legislation has been passed making it mandatory for anyone who receives welfare or any other form of government assistance to be implanted with these new identification chips. Even select government employees and officials have been ordered to receive the sub-dermal device, which is typically implanted in the fatty tissue of the individual’s buttock. Police officers, military, even garbage men will all be required to have the RFID chip by the end of next month or face termination from their jobs.

During the beta testing stage of this amazing technological development, many news outlets have remained silent, apparently waiting to see how the trial pans out before reporting on the subject. National Report, always on the cutting edge, sent me on location to Hanna, Wyoming to speak with some of the townsfolk and gather their opinions and experiences regarding their newly acquired RFID chips.


Tammy Josephine Laurence, a single mother of three who is currently accepting housing assistance got her chip implanted just hours before we had a chance to sit down and speak with her. She had the following to say:

“Well, they said I better do this, or they was gonna cut the welfare. I’m a full-time single mother. I got three young kids that need me at all hours and ain’t no man to help. I didn’t have no choice…”

When asked if the procedure was invasive she informed us that it was “a little like giving blood” and that she felt “tired after getting the implant” which is reportedly is a common but benign side effect.

I also spoke with Hanna, Wyoming’s Mayor Ted Howell, whose full support of the RFID chip made it mandatory for the citizens of his small community. Leading by example he was the first recipient of the RFID chip, having it implanted publicly at a recent town hall meeting. “This is change for a better, safer America” he said while undergoing the ten minute procedure. “With this scientific advancement, the terrorists do not stand a chance… USA will prevail…”


The ordinance has had some opposition, however, as several of the local churches have spoken out against the chips with protests. These fringe apocalyptic churches believe Obama to be the anti-Christ and claim the RFID chip is the Mark Of The Beast written about in their Book Of Revelations. They cite the RFID chip’s supposed serial number of 131618 as corresponding with Revelations 13:16-18. Of course, rural superstitions ultimately have no sway when it comes to the progressive new America and their scripture laden outcries have largely been ignored.

This journalist embraces the change and even got her very own RFID chip before heading back to the National Report’s home offices. The surgery was quick, simple and more or less painless. I can barely tell I’ve been implanted at all. A sacrifice I’ve gladly made for my country’s national security and hope you will too.

UPDATE 10-20-13 Multiple Wyoming School Districts Implant RFID Chip Technology In Students Without Parental Consent

UPDATE 10-25-13 Move Over Elmo – Chippie Seminars Leave Children Eager To Receive New RFID Implant

UPDATE 11-05-13 RFID Mascot Begins Nationwide Tour To Help Alleviate Children`s Fears Of Implantation

UPDATE 11-09-13 Wyoming Christians Report Forced Obamacare RFID Chipping

UPDATE 11-13-13 Chippie The RFID Insists “I’m Not The Mark Of The Beast” In Recent Press Conference


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1,563 Responses to "RFID Chip Now Being Issued In Hanna, Wyoming As Part Of New “Obamacare” Plan"

  1. Park says:

    This is a bunch of BS– a perfect example of how we Americans are surely losing our freedom. Where is the freedom in being monitored by the government? To be put on a terrorist watch list for protesting or simple demographics does not align with our constitution at all. How could all you idiots agree with this.

    As a young adult, my expenses are through the roof, and I simply cannot afford HC for $250 a month. So what are my options? I can pay $250 a month and incur tremendous debt through my bills; I can get Obamacare and get the RFID chip, to be put on some watch list for being a GOP; or I can not have HC and receive a $95 fine (this year) for it just so other lazy fucks can reap the benefits of my hard earned money. And if I do not pay the fine, I can lose my driver license.

    So all you that agree with Obama and Obamacare should either rethink your position or use your 2nd amendment right, while you still have it, buy a gun and shoot yourself in the face.

    • robertsgt40 says:

      Anybody concerned there might be a terminate button for their chip when customer is no longer valued?

    • Keith says:

      Maybe you should take your own advice since you’re too stupid to realize that NR is one of the best satire sites on the web.

  2. Louis says:

    BACK IN THE EARLY 70’S, THEY STARTED TO RFID CHIP DOGS AND CATS,TO LOCATE THEM, WHEN THEY COME UP LOST. THESE RFID CHIPS CAN, TELL WHAT YOU ARE DOING, WHERE YOU WORK AT, OH THEY CAN TELL WHO YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH. IF YOU MADE ANY MONEY UNDER THE TABLE, THAT CAN BE TAX FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO TAX. THESE CHIPS, CAN CAUSE SOME FORMS OF CANCER TO SHOW UP IN YOUR BODY.

  3. Joe Momas says:

    Whatever is going on in Hanna (if it has any truth) has nothing to do with Obama Care. The Obamacare portion of the first bill as it was written has to do with anyone who already has an implant for storing medical data, but does not requiring any type of implant to be used on any citizen. This part of the Affordable Healthcare act did not make it into the final law as it is written. You can find the explanation along with a link to the entire document at http://obamacarefacts.com/obamacare-microchip-implant.php. You still can’t believe everything that you see and read on the internet. There are so many hoaxes out there it is mind-boggling.

    • them says:

      You are right, this has nothing to do with Obamacare as he MIGHT be impeached and sued.
      This also doesn’t have anything to do with Hanna Wyoming (at least not all of it).
      The “Fun Balloons Incorporated” (prevented from saying real name) are the real threat of the no privacy story which is NOT A HOAX!
      Using biometric data, school children will be the first to be in a suspected criminal database, which makes them guilty until proven innocent.

      The problem is, we as a culture (ever since Clinton’s Star Wars plan) are conditioned to want this invasion of privacy in favor of heath, security, free speech, even arts and entertainment.

  4. Francis says:

    “A sacrifice I’ve gladly made for my country’s national security and hope you will too.”
    Keep hoping because I’m not getting microchipped and you do not deserve to be an American if you roll over and let the govt chip you and track you. You dont deserve Constitutional Rights AT ALL you have disgraced this country YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN

  5. Donna says:

    Fuck that!!!! You have to kill me first!!!!!!!

  6. Mel says:

    And so it BEGINS–as the Bible says it would!! American people are so stupid and ignorant to allowed themselves to get these implants..You are no different than the greedy, corrupted government.–you just lost your freedom! Funny–the women rights libs for years says –MY BODY, MY RIGHTS!! But yet we would be FORCE to get these implants in OUR BODIES? Mind blowing!

  7. Joe says:

    I doubt it. Anyone with a microchip would be unable to get an MRI and they make to much money on those.

  8. Dean May says:

    let’s see, several churches oppose, but they are “fringe.” How can several be fringe?

  9. DelVita Ahmed says:

    I will not receive the mark of the beast. Ya’ll can forget it! Just forget it! Do it if you want to, but I know better.

  10. them says:

    Plausible speculation
    There is a popular wildlife TV show in Montana that features a couple with the last name of Hanna.
    Considering the Save The Grizzly Bear Campaign Miley Cyrus has (which was mistaken for dancing teddy bears at the MTV awards) I’m speculating this is where her alter ego got her name.

  11. them says:

    I’m not sure why my posts were taken down.
    I should have said “This is a true story (to my knowledge).”

    It is totally bogus
    http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9244860/
    Inconsistencies:
    The information held globally said to be read by the FBI without consent may only be known to the NSA.
    The idea of palm scanning was not in the previous article and was only mentioned after I said it here.
    The fingerprint scanner the article said was used is actually combined from another article about National IDs which started as a tracking device for foreigners coming in our country under the Clinton Administration.
    NGI (most likely a Google program) hasn’t been launched yet, only it’s facial recognition software reserved for prisoners is working.
    I estimated it was announced around 2008, projecting the final picture database by 2015 because of the Star Wars defense plan, when Star Wars was actually an earlier Nixon attempt (failed because of mind control from Nazi space program).
    The drones were supposably purchased this year (the solar powered bit in both stories still doesn’t make sense,) but this is a 2012 article and must be false in every way.

    There are two real biometric stories though.
    E-tattoo from Motorola (monitors pulse, sweat glands, heart rate, and using voice recognition until familiar, will order correct medical prescription).
    “The Google Pill” (really, that’s the name).
    Edible nanotechnology monitors vital organs including nervous system, lungs, kidneys, heart, core temperature, and (wait for it) BRAIN!
    (seen on Mythbusters and other shows)

    Use both at the same time and you could be in for some serious sh**!
    Switching eyes (first person view of secret stuff).
    Heart hacking (artificial heart can simulate death, or modify behavior with extreme pain).
    Any number of things can happen.

  12. them says:

    Sorry, I just wanted to get the old version of the site which I think you should still have linked.

    To staff, moderators, administrators, and group, presumably my identity is seen by all of you and possibly social media as well.
    Please remove anything you know about me from wherever the information has gone.
    The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) is a respected source to help fight digital privacy battles.

    Through TOR (has a “universal” DRM system) false news stories have been leaked to the EFF, including the one I was quoting as true.
    I don’t think it’s just coincidence that that particular story has disappeared.
    Please keep your fake stories on your own server/s.
    In fact tampering with the EFF software is a serious offense according to the ToS.
    The same is true with PC Magazine and ZD/Net affiliates (ZD/Net, C/Net, PC Shopper, etc.).

    Oh, I was talking about Jack Hanna before on the Nature Channel.
    I’m leaving now.
    Don’t forget to remove my info, and get rid of that keylogger!

  13. sammy says:

    Listen to what I wroted, I will never gonna get the mark of the beast and also I will never gonna worship the beast and his image. So I do want to say to the beast the maker of mark, I will never gonna worship you and your image so get away from my life and it is say the scripture say, worship the Lord your God name Sovereign Lord and serve only Him, now I say only Sovereign Lord God Almighty He is most powerful and awesome God He is, name Sovereign Lord. Now I will not get the rfid chip.

  14. no2rfid says:

    dum ass wtf we get implanted for homie dat type of shyt start up sum wild acts:-( real shit we need to get tf out diss damn country lol

  15. NoToTheDevil says:

    This is a sign wake up and and see the devil is among us. We’re getting closer to the rapture and the tribulation period

  16. Dontlie390 says:

    What is the so called reason for this chip

  17. Dontlie390 says:

    Could someone tell me that

  18. norbert says:

    are u people really that stupid? if so, I doubt the gubmint would waste so much as a dime implanting a chip in your big backsides. the logistics alone would be enormous, not to mention the cost. take our medication and go back to worrying about honey boo boo.

  19. Prophet of God says:

    this is the mark of the beast it talks about in Revalations chapter 13 all who take the chip the wrath of God will be poured out on them!

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