04252014Headline:

Obama Auctioning Off All Marijuana Seized In Drug Raids Since 2008

Obama Auctioning Off Pot Seized In Drug Raids since 2008Washington DC — In a controversial move said to raise funds for a possible war in Syria, President Obama today announced plans to auction off all of the marijuana that has been seized in drug raids since he took office in 2008. The auctions are to be held in only states that have legalized the drug and only to users with a medical marijuana card.

22-year-old Leland Hollandale from San Diego said he’s excited to participate in these auctions. “This is so cool. I’ll be able to buy my weed cheap, all off the broken dreams of others who are now in prison. I’m so stoked!”

Critics are quick to point out Obama’s stance on marijuana when he initially ran for President. “Back in 2008 when running for President, Obama said he would be lenient on marijuana laws, but since taking office he’s done just the complete opposite,” said 30-year-old Chris Roybal from New Mexico. “He’s conducted major raids in every state that has legalized marijuana. He’s seized billions of dollars worth of property and assets, ruined families, and put thousands of people in prison. All of this over a harmless plant that should be legal in the first place. He is by far the toughest President on marijuana in over 20 years.”


Dean Huls had his marijuana dispensary raided back in February and is now looking at 18 years in prison. “These auctions are beyond ridiculous. He’s taking the marijuana that’s been seized on a Federal level from states that have legalized it, and then selling it back to them. Obama is by far the biggest drug kingpin in the world and instead of being locked up in prison, he’s the President of The United States.”

Garret Roach, head of the DEA task force in California, said he’s excited about what Obama is doing. “We’ll be carefully watching and tracking everyone that’s buying marijuana from these auction houses. Obama already gave us the green light for raids in all 50 states at the beginning of his presidency. These auctions will give our organization so many new leads in the war on drugs. I can’t wait to make more seizures and put these potheads in prison where they belong.”

Marijuana auction houses will be setting up in all major cities of states that have legalized the drug. Only people carrying a medical marijuana card will be allowed to participate. Users will be limited to two pounds of marijuana per month.

The DEA has setup a 24 hour hotline to answer any questions you may have along with finding a marijuana auction house near you.

  • Marijuana Auction Hotline: (785) 273-0325

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163 Responses to "Obama Auctioning Off All Marijuana Seized In Drug Raids Since 2008"

  1. Lana says:

    lol The phone number for the “Marijuana Auction Hotline” is the Westboro Baptist Church.

  2. pothead says:

    Damn nigger ran off with all the weed.

  3. Mr.Brandon says:

    I wouldn’t do it. It’s a trap!!!

    This is just to get you to put your business out there.

    I’m a medical user as well,for my pain&issue that I have.

  4. Lori Ann says:

    Ridiculous, someone sure is spending time making up fake stories like this about marijuana. Who ever it is must think the entire subject about legalizing marijuana for the sick and others is one big joke. It is a shame we have such evil people like this in the world. Your joke, NOT FUNNY. You are CRUEL !

  5. Terrylin says:

    This completely blows me away. Glad to know I didn’t vote for him. This is just making a drug ring circle. Seizing it just to auction it off where those who have the M.M. Card can partake in such an auction. The DEA will be part of your life and your cell phone information will be in the hands of law enforcements, Government, and DEA even if you don’t do anything illegal and you smoke it for your own personal reason for medical …what ever. The DEA is excited to make the next big drug seizes from the auctions of this…That alone says ENOUGH. Those who know me know I do NOT partake in smoking this. I have tried and it has only put me to sleep. I do not judge those who do either. But for Obama to come up with such a stupid ( another stupid) idea is appalling, and all for a war that has NOTHING to do with us. WHY can’t he stand down and say “it’s not our fight” and leave it be?

  6. Robert says:

    Mr. Horner, “setup” is not even a word, and “set-up” is a noun. I suppose that this article is a wingnut’s idea of humor, but it seems extremely lame to me. I see that the number you list for the so-called “Marijuana Auction Hotline” is that of Fred Phelps — isn’t orchestrating a campaign of phone-harassment illegal? How unbelievably stupid some readers are to have swallowed this nonsense whole!

  7. Jared Rakestraw says:

    With every sell the police should be arrested as it Is against federal law. If anyone is planning on shooting up anything anytime soon, the auction houses full of dirty cops wud be a great spot lol

  8. Caleb says:

    Obamas a theif, druglord and a

    anticontistutionilist. Haha. Why aint he gettin raided by te dea? Everyone else is.

  9. DSnub says:

    This article is so full of crap. Phone number for Westboro Baptist Church? Sounds like a prank.

  10. Matt says:

    That’s some stale as weed ew wee

  11. muha says:

    Not sure what’s more funny .. Obama or the people that voted for him

  12. Shaman says:

    Fake as fuck. Westboro Baptist Church number. Just search it on Google. XD

  13. This is BS and everyone knows it says:

    SO, basically Obama is now a drug dealer.

    Do any of you remember the ads on tv that used to say ” every time you buy marijuana you are giving money to terrorists”

    HMMMM….

    and all the people who got arrested during these drug busts do they get a get out of jail free card now. Or do they still have to sit in prison while the govt’ sells their products.

  14. Katie says:

    Sounds like a setup lol

  15. Joel Weaver says:

    Forreal. So let me get this right!, if youre the prez then you can take weed then the sell weed and bust the ppl you sell it to??? Something smells funny here?

  16. Mediterranean Love says:

    Since 2008? wow, how do u preserve it that long? Would it still be usable? Do these plants ever go bad?

  17. JackboJones says:

    As far as I know the Feds are still busting growers in California even though the people of CA have decriminalized it and made it legal for medical use.

    Yet the Feds are now going to SELL it???! They are going to PROFIT off the same stuff they said was illegal to grow and sell???

    This is BEYOND insane!

    This is “1984″ finally arrived for sure. Complete insanity.

  18. JackboJones says:

    ******

    I GET IT NOW: THIS SITE IS LIKE THE ONION!

    Only it’s a little more subtle so it actually seems to be offering real stories.

    Believe me this story is not far beyond what could easily be Reality.

  19. tommi atkins says:

    Seriously!!! The morons who want to believe this crap are abysmal.

    How, could anyone in this country just sell weed ….to who??? You people are so anxious to believe the worst of the president you will fall for anything….CLOWNS!!! Besides, all that stuff is burned as soon as the cops get a pickup load. GET REAL!!!

  20. Trip Affleck says:

    people, this is a satire site; the reason most of you don’t get the joke is because unlike The Onion, this site is rarely funny.

    the article is not true.

    the Disclaimer at the bottom of the very page you are reading includes “Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional”, not to mention the “Ask Mammy” column listed in the upper left.

    this is a parody news site. it’s not real. nor is it particularly witty.

  21. Julie says:

    This is such bull shit!!!! Grow up people!!!! What garbage, and you all believe this!! Lmao

  22. CL Jahn says:

    Totally bogus story. This “Paul Horner” claims that President Obama made this announcement, dateline Washington DC: but the president is in Sweden this week. And somehow, this complete non-entity gets the story, but every other media outlet missed it?

    Mr. Horne is not only a liar, he’s a completely incompetent liar to boot.

  23. It's yo boy says:

    Everything on the internet is not true. some of yall went to school, but did you go to class.

    This would be national news.

    Just another way to bash Obama.

  24. CL Jahn says:

    I love Obama! I love weed! I love smoking weed with Obama!

  25. John says:

    Marijuana Auction Hotline = GOLD

  26. Sean D says:

    Boycott this shit. It is a federal trap. They say it right in the fucking article.

    • DisturbedWhiteBoy says:

      You’re a crafty one aren’t you, Sean D. Not getting much by you, are we now? Make sure you remind everyone to hide their guns when the aliens from the sun come to takeover next month. Obama is behind that one too…

  27. SuzyQ says:

    I can’t believe how many idiots believed this article was true. I hope they call the phone number, hahaha!

  28. Aaron says:

    This is worse that prohibition!

  29. Robin says:

    If you believe this article, you’re one hell of a dumb ass

  30. Mary J says:

    Wow, it’s amazing to me how incredibly stupid you sheeple are. To back that statement even more go figure outthe percentage of Iidiots who believed the story compared to those who have at least half a clue. For shits and giggles let’s say it’s true for a minute……

    1. Personally there is zero chance I’m smoking 5 year old bud. You know the shit wasn’t Vac sealed, stored in a dark place. The weed would be dry as hell and full of mold.

    2. The Fed Government or law enforcement would never ever seize drugs, money, guns, etc and then dare to sell or inject it back into society. That would never ever happen! Oh wait, that’s a lie. Evidence rooms have been raided hundreds of thousands of times under the guise of ooooops it’s missing, or ooooops that Key of cocaine is really only half a key, or oooops we ummmm destroyed it.

    3. Where do I sign up to get some!?

    So, in closing you rubes, get a fucking grip. That shit even if it was true the Gov would never ever admit or post it in advance. Only when someone screws up and it gets exposed by some idiot truther would there be any talk. They would do it like they normally do, quiet, sneaky and crossing their fingers some bird doesn’t chirp.

    Eat a dick noobs!

  31. Kayla says:

    the phone number is westboro Baptist church, just called it…

  32. Are you kidding me says:

    I can’t believe Obama is doing this!!! Get those drug addicts off welfare n put that money to good use!

    • DisturbedWhiteBoy says:

      Maybe into something like education, so people like you are informed before roaming the earth and taking up valuable oxygen. Why you would even attempt to believe this is beyond me.

  33. Kat Stuart says:

    Some of you good folks need to save a little of the money you are spending on Kool-Aid and buy a dictionary so you can look up the wore “satire”.

  34. scott says:

    OK OK HOW DUMB ARE PEOPLE READ THE DEAS PART GREEN LIGHT ON RAIDS FOLLOW THE WEED MORE BUST BUT BEST OF ALL PUT THOSE POT HEADS IN PRISON WERE THEY BELONG …….. THAT’S FUNNY DON’T WORRY BOUT THE HEROIN METH COKE MOLLY YOU GET THEM OVERDOSING POT HEADS TIRED OF READING ABOUT ALL THOSE POT HEADS DYING CAUSE THEY SMOKED TO MUCH WEED YOU GO GET THOSE BAD GUYS AND THANK YOU FOR SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME ON THOSE GUYS AND NOT KIDNAPPERS AND RAPIST AND PETTIFILES WE ALL KNOW THE POT HEAD PROBLEM IS WAY WORSE AND TO THE GREAT DEALER OBAMA I MEAN HYPOCRITICAL DICTATOR PRESIDENT OBAMA I MEAN HIS STANCE ON WEED IS JUST LIKE HIS WHISTLE BLOWER ACT WHY PEOPLE LIKE MANING AND SNOWDEN AND OTHERS ARE IN JAIL OR ON THE RUN CAUSE HIS WORD IS SO GOOD YOU SIR NEED TO BE ON TRIAL LEGALIZE WEED ITS NOT A DRUG AND GET JACK ASS LIKE THAT DEA AGENT OFF THE STREETS

  35. Krystyn says:

    The hotline phone number listed is to the Westboro Baptist Church. This article is fake but people calling the Westboro church looking for weed is hilarious!!

  36. Smokedoutinlakeside says:

    go to prison for weed! come out with a doctors degree in cocaine!!!

  37. DisturbedWhiteBoy says:

    We may need Obamacare to deal with all the retards it appears we’re gonna have in the future smoking weed

  38. Smokedoutinlakeside says:

    USA USA USA!!! SMOKE WEED!!!! OBAMAS WIFE LOVES DA GANJA IN HAWAII!

  39. NativeAmerican says:

    I have several issues with this article. First being that there are limits on the amount of marijuana that a person can have even for medical reasons, and there would be more available for ‘auction’ than could ‘legally’ be held. Second being that most medical marijuana is just that, grown for medicinal purposes and not the varying varities that would be in this cache. Third this stuff would be so old, if it were not molded, it would still most likely be unusable, or useless due to age. I’m sure there are others problems with this, but those were some ‘questions’ I would have.

  40. Joses says:

    This is a fake post. Nothing more then propaganda to tarnish Obama. Look for it in the news, not on a website

  41. Patti says:

    Are you people stupid or just so racist that anything bad that is said about the president you are ready to jump on the “lets get tha nigger” bandwagon” yet again! Omg! talk about sheeple!! Holy Fuck!

  42. TerryM says:

    I read the comments and sure cheap weed exectera…But someone “Chris Godsling” wrote you’d all be fund a war……….dam true and Obama can sit back content towards anti-War protesters saying “YOU actually funded the War”

    VERY CLEVER x

  43. PRETTY LADY says:

    now keep up…he gonna sell weed to states that its legal in and imprison people he seized it from for fund a war that we shouldn’t even be in that wont further any of my civil liberties or reduce any of my illeagal taxes. so basically Obama went from President to the United States to the BIGGEST dope dealer in the world?!?!? #MY PEOPLE NEED TO WAKE UP

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